So, today was Mother's Day. I finished Caged Bird. Made mum a card and gave it to her. Mom and Dad started fighting. Dad was screaming, it was lovely. So I ran out of the house and took a walk... Apparently I missed the "I want a divorce!" Joy. But, eh, things calmed down. Mum and Dad made up and we all headed out for dress shopping. We went out for lunch, and spent a whole bunch of time going through stores. But, I found my prom dress, and I'm pretty happy with it. Hopefully it'll look nice. I think it will. Now, I need shoes. Urk.

Damn, I need to bum a ride off someone for the physics thing on Thursday.

So, went through a period of minor depression. Then Nikki called, and I snapped out of it. It's odd. There are a few people who have this enormous power over me, to make me happy or sad. If they're unhappy, or they ignore me, I get upset. But if they're happy or they talk to me, every bad thing that's happened gets better.

current mp3: somewhere i belong - linkin park

I went to the study thing at school for the IB spanish test. We talked about subjunctive, and transition words, and relative pronouns, basically. There were a bunch of people there. Danny, Shaina, Hugh, Melissa, Jason, Talia, Meghan, Ben (Dova), Emily, Amberle, Akshay, and three people I don't know. Puja (I know of her, at least) and two other girls (don't know them at all, though I think I've seen one around school). So, a little over half were juniors. Interesting. Ok, not really.

Other than that... I have about 50 pages left in Caged Bird. We watched The Emperor's New Groove during dinner, which consisted of Chinese food. I've been coughing, kind of, but it's not painful. Mostly just to clear my throat. I've been feeling better. I'm getting worried about buying stuff for prom, and the euro trip. I'm worried about prom. I'm worried about the europe trip.

It's ok though. I think I can deal. And if not, well, it'll soon be over with, and the nervous breakdowns along with it.

I ditched today. Actually, I was sick, and my english essay wasn't done. I hadn't even read Caged Bird yet, really. Now I've read about half of it. I probably should finish it before I start the essay, though.

So, the AP calc test was fun, as predicted. The calculator parts were horrid, and I totally screwed them up, but the non-calculator seemed pretty easy. Course, I probably made a whole bunch of careless errors on the non-calculator since I thought it was easy... And, I got cheated out of some time on my calculator multiple choice. The stupid proctors don't know how to add, and they stopped us at least 5 minutes early. So, they tell us to seal up our booklets... And, oh! Wait, undo the seals. You have more time. I tried to undo my seal, kinda, but it wasn't really working for me. So I'm missing about ten problems on the calculator multiple choice section. Hopefully they won't invalidate our tests though. They better not.

Didn't even start one of the three free response calculator problems, but I finished the non-calculator part a little early, so I tried to do it without a calculator. Didn't really work, though.

Since we had that whole time issue going on, I missed the first 20 minutes of sixth period, so I'm like, screw it, I don't wanna go. So I talked to Katsnelson for about 5 minutes and spent the rest of the period wandering aimlessly about. I kind of wish I had gone... Then spanish, where Gibson yelled at me for spacing out and not getting out yesterday's yellow packet. So that was fun, too.

I am glad I'm not taking too many tests, though. Three will be enough, thanks. And next year I might just want to skip the whole AP test thing. Since I'll be taking 5 IB tests. Meh.

I hope I get to talk to him more at some point. These tests are not really helping matters. And the awkwardness is worse than before, and not knowing how he feels about me is driving me crazy...

I feel really bad for Nikki, since it really doesn't look like she'll be able to go to prom... She's really depressed about it, too, and I wish I could help her, but I don't know how!

I must admit, though... Staying home from school today was nice. REALLY nice. It's a relief not to have to deal with so much crap. And I probably would have grossed out a bunch of people with my incessant coughing. Anyways, all I did today pretty much was listen to music, read IKWTCBS and talk to Nikki. Very relaxing. Damn, I wish school were over.

current mp3: if i ever lose my faith in you - sting

Today was the AP spanish test. That was fun. Especially since I'm pretty sure I've come down with something. My throat's sore and my nose is runny. And then, of course, there's the questions about the environment, where I was tempted to go "Down with the environment! What we need is more buildings! Kill trees!" but of course I didn't because I was feeling uncreative. I did, however, use polución, which isn't a word, instead of contaminación, which is. And, of all days to forget to take a ritalin before school, but there you go. I don't think it affected my performance much, though. Hopefully.

Tomorrow will be equally joyful, with the AP calc test. I just hope that the 5 I got on my final isn't just a temporary thing. "Oh, well, you did fine in class, where it doesn't count, but on the test you paid 80 dollars for you got a 2. So sorry."

It's been a little odd lately. I know that things are different, but I'm not quite sure how. I think I'm afraid, but I'm not sure why, and I'm not sure what of. But it's ok. Better, I think, than before, even though it is a little frightening. And mom keeps making fun of me, which must be a good sign. But of course.

I need to stop slacking about college stuff. I never signed up for the SATs this year, and as a result I get to take them in October instead. And apparently I need to pick two colleges to send my psat scores to, or something, and I can't really think of any. I mean, I can think of tons but none I'm really interested in. And they need to be in the US, too. Damn.

So, I'm going to prom with Chaffin.