once you watch it, you can't unwatch it!

cheater

I cheated; I got my valentine's presents early...

It's funny, because this is the first year that I've had valentine's gifts that weren't from my parents... In some ways, it really is an overrated holiday, it's just to make all the single people jealous and all the non-single people (or at least, the ones who dislike pink or red) gag.

Ah, well, I don't mind... I have butterscotch candies! Heh heh heh...

I really am spoiled, aren't I?

I don't know... it's like... an excuse to be gooey, and really, I don't need an excuse, at this stage anyway. Like Nikki always says...

Hopefully my parents will have fun, since I won't be around to distract them from gooeyness. My dad can do his Kasha impression... Oh, ew, mental image... Haha.

I'm really happy right now...

Ah, right! Two things, I have two things to bring to school tomorrow. And Cam says I shouldn't be late to Comp Sci this time.

reversal

[ note: This entry is backdated because I meant to post it yesterday night before I went to sleep. ]
[ current time: 2/13/05 11:58 PM ]

current song: Billy Joel - All About Soul

I had a really fun night.

So right now I'm doing laundry. It's 2:30 in the morning. No one's doing laundry. I'm queen of the laundry room, as it were.

Today when I woke up at noon my roommates were both sound asleep. It was really nice to sit at my desk and think for a while, no tv blasting, no music on, just silence and the knowledge that no one would come to interrupt my thoughts.

It makes me want to be nocturnal; the joy I find in the wee hours of the night, and not-so-wee hours of the morning. I want to go to bed at four in the morning and wake up at six just so I can get the bliss of sitting undisturbed in my room.

I can't wait till this summer. I'll have my own room again. I miss it so much...

Don't you love it late at night, when you're the only one left awake, and you can just own wherever you're at? Like, in the laundry room, or the engineering center, or even just in your dorm room. And you can look out at the world as it sleeps, and be content.

Different from last time... alone, but not lonely.

<smiles>

utsukushii desu ne

風が聞きましょう。今晩は星が美しいですね。

Let's listen to the wind. Tonight, the stars are beautiful, aren't they?

I'm tired, and I'm disappointed in myself, but I think I'll make it through. If I can make someone happy, maybe I can make myself happy too... Maybe this time I won't sleep in. Though if I do, I'm not sure I'll care as much, considering how much I've been paying attention in class so far this semester, and how much I, or my classmates, seem to care.

Do you ever do something and wish you'd done more? Been left with the dissatisfaction of having put forth some effort, but not enough to produce any positive result? Have you ever stepped back and observed someone's unhappiness, and then, having done the observing, wished you could have done something to remove it, only to realize that it's too late?

I finally put up the picture I got from Srav's graduation party. It's on the wall, under my Amelie poster, between the paper crane from my origami workshop, and the beaded purse I bought in Mexico.

For an instant tonight, as I was copying Unicode shortcuts for Kanji, I heard noises in the hall, and it broke my illusion; for a moment I had pictured that it was late at night, and I was in the dining room, working on my computer, avoiding doing homework, and trying not to wake up my parents... I want to be back home, sometimes. I miss my parents. It struck me, how happy and safe I felt in that moment, and I only noticed until it was taken away...

To oft feel lonely, but never alone. That is college, sometimes. I wonder, will it get better?

laptop troubles

So I was talking to my parents the other day and I mentioned that my current laptop sucks, but I couldn't actually remember what my major grievance was: the power.

So the battery sucks. That's expected. Maybe I can get a new battery or something. Its really short life can hinder me only so long as I have no power cord!

Oh, wait... my power cord is screwed up. So I plug it into the port and... it doesn't fit anymore. The damn thing is warped somehow, so I have to jiggle the damn plug until it starts sending power to my laptop. And if it gets jostled somehow and I don't notice, I think it short circuits, because not only does my laptop receive no power, but the plug and the laptop casing around the plug get extremely hot. This worries me. I don't like excessive heat in the vicinity of my hard drive.

There's a bunch of other little things... like the fact that the headphone port is damaged, so now all my headphones have decreased (or no) volume in the right ear... And I've used my earbuds on both the laptop and my cd player; they're screwed up in the laptop, and they work fine in my cd player. So, I've tested this, and it is my laptop screwing up, not the headphones themselves.

There's also the fact that the screen is scratched up. Of course, that's my fault. I admit it. I don't know how to treat my monitors nicely. Oh, speaking of which, the viewing angle on this laptop is miniscule. But whatever, it's not one of those really important things.

There's the fact that the little rubber feet on the bottom have fallen off, and the case is a bit warped. Again, that's just from use. Not a big deal. My fault, anyways.

Oh, and there's the fact that I want a bigger hardrive... but, uh, the biggest space hogs for my little laptop buddy are mp3s and jpegs, neither of which are incredibly necessary in doing schoolwork. Oh, and there's WoW. That's pretty important though, can't get rid of that.

And there's the fact that it runs incredibly slowly. But I bet if I take him home, my parents can help fix him up.

So, ah, my laptop's not really that bad... but the power cord / bad battery thing is bothersome. And of course, that's the thing I forgot to mention to my parents. Hopefully I can bring him home, and we'll figure out some sort of solution.

<pats her laptop lovingly> There, there, now. That's a good laptop...