dammit.

Meh. I feel bad. Eric was teasing me (stole my credit card, the bastard) and so I swung my hoodie at him. I'm thinking, fluffy, soft hoodie, right? But the zipper hit him, by his ear. I've been feeling so guilty. I didn't mean to hurt him. Yet, as a result of my own stupidity, I did.

I probably feel worse than I need to, but still. I hurt people I care about all the time, it seems, and if I just paid more attention, or something, I might be able to avoid it. The worst part is, I bet for every time I hurt someone and know that I've hurt him, I've also hurt him without knowing it. And it's not just guys, I hurt my mom and Nikki all the time too.

Sigh.

Ah, well. Shivani now knows the seven (and Danika probably does too by now). And I was talking about it to Sarah, during clay club yesterday. Which was kind of embarrassing, Teplitzky scolded us for gossiping. But, eh, neither Shivani nor Sarah was very surprised by #1...

Shivani thought I liked Danny, though. Ha ha ha. That makes me laugh. Danny's awesome, but seriously. I haven't had a crush on him since fifth grade.

If anyone else wants to know the list, just talk to me at school... I assume you all know me from school, don't you? And if you didn't, why would you care who was on my list?

a reich to last one thousand beers

My parents are off eating dinner and doing improv together, as today's their 20th anniversary. Hurrah. It means the house is 10 years old. Which makes sense, as I moved to summit in 2nd grade. And this summer, Kasha turns 10, as well.

So since I'm alone in the house, I've been irresponsible, and instead of doing science homework (gah! I really need to, don't I?) I finished Gattaca (I rewatched the first part in Spanish, then switched to English once I didn't know what was going on), watched the Simpsons ("Duffmensch" - the joy), and then proceeded to watch some MTV. And, oh, the "My Band" video just made my day. I'm reminded why I love Eminem.

Ah, my parents have returned. Time to do some homework.

ladder fun

Doh ho ho. I'm in a good mood. Perhaps even "jolly." Eh wot wot? My oral, though imperfect, went fairly well, I've discovered that Sara did indeed attempt to email me (and I was worried that she simply didn't email because she didn't like me! haha! erm...), and, furthermore, today was both a Green Day (good old green days) and a Knowledge Bowl day. And, I was on Krishna's team. More chipotle for me. Eh, I'd share... if anyone ever wanted to drive me to Chipotle. *cheesy grin*

On the boy front: well, well. The whole sunday-movie-boy-thing is alright. As Stacey pointed out to me online, "Hate to break it to you..." Not much of a "date," per se, but still, it's progress. The best thing about it, however, is that he is fun to be around, and lately, well, I've been around him more often. So, hoorah. And, actually, it's the, I don't know, free-est? I've felt since... I dunno, beginning of sophomore year? When I have a (major) crush on a guy, I almost feel bound to him somehow, as if flirting with other guys would be a betrayal somehow. I know, it's dumb, but that's how it seems to work with me. However, I don't have a crush on anyone in particular right now. So... I'm finally, I don't know, free to flirt with whoever the hell I feel like, without feeling guilty, and without feeling upset if they don't respond the way I want them to. If one boy is mean, I'll just wait for the next class and try again. Hurrah!

But, as far as the boy front goes, let me go down my ladder:

#1: Yes, he's still #1, despite the actions of #2. And, oh boy, he's just hot. That's all. For those who know who I'm talking about and find this description disgusting, bite me, I wouldn't have told you if I knew you would freak out. I mean, jeez, peoples. And, boy, I sure do like getting rides from him. In his car, of course... Heh. Take that how you will.

#2: Yes, it's the boy that I've recently been going through trauma about. He's so nice. It's just... I don't know. There are certain physical aspects that are something of a turn off, especially when he's not nearby to remind me that he's cute regardless. Thinking of him without him around... hmph. But, hey, maybe he'd solve that. I dunno, he mentioned it when we were talking online.

#3: Oh, yes, he's hot, too, just not quite as much as #1. I got to see him twice today, that just made my day. And his sarcasm, you don't get much better than that. Ah, yes.

#4: Aaargh. I never see him! It's annoying. So I generally try to ignore him. Thing is, on the odd occasion that I do see him, he either ignores me entirely or is really nice. Puzzling. Ah well. He looks good in a suit, at least.

#5: Yes, still. I think it's gotten better nowadays. Not so much pressure. He doesn't have to be perfect, and now when he gets mopey I just ignore him. He still fascinates me though. And he's cute when he's concentrating on essay writing!

#6: I saw him today! I saw him today! *hops up and down* Even hotter than number 1, IMHO. If I actually saw him more than twice a month (and then for more than five seconds), he'd be much higher up. Hell yeah.

#7: From here on down, it doesn't really count. Although this guy is hot, and nice, he has a girlfriend, so... pretty much off limits in my book. Good for friend, not good for anything else.

Wheeeeeeeeeeee! That was fun. See the horrible destruction that occurs when my exuberance at finding my science labs leads to late-night blogging? Mwahahaha! Hear my evil laughter, and cower, mortals!

not as bad as I'd thought it would be

Wow. We had no history class today. I feel really bad for Mr. Gore, though. His kid burned himself, so he had to go see him in the hospital. Meh. Instead I went to Wendy's with Kym, and then over to the pet store and met the infamous Rogers. Interesting.

Again, ditching going on. Don't know what was up with him, though, maybe he was actually sick. If he is, I hope he gets better. They both missed the awesomeness of the solenoid demo, though. Did anyone else miss it? I can't remember.

I might actually get an A in comp sci for quarter. That'd be awesome.

Time for bed.

Wow. I cannot stop smiling.