dammit.

Meh. I feel bad. Eric was teasing me (stole my credit card, the bastard) and so I swung my hoodie at him. I'm thinking, fluffy, soft hoodie, right? But the zipper hit him, by his ear. I've been feeling so guilty. I didn't mean to hurt him. Yet, as a result of my own stupidity, I did.

I probably feel worse than I need to, but still. I hurt people I care about all the time, it seems, and if I just paid more attention, or something, I might be able to avoid it. The worst part is, I bet for every time I hurt someone and know that I've hurt him, I've also hurt him without knowing it. And it's not just guys, I hurt my mom and Nikki all the time too.

Sigh.

Ah, well. Shivani now knows the seven (and Danika probably does too by now). And I was talking about it to Sarah, during clay club yesterday. Which was kind of embarrassing, Teplitzky scolded us for gossiping. But, eh, neither Shivani nor Sarah was very surprised by #1...

Shivani thought I liked Danny, though. Ha ha ha. That makes me laugh. Danny's awesome, but seriously. I haven't had a crush on him since fifth grade.

If anyone else wants to know the list, just talk to me at school... I assume you all know me from school, don't you? And if you didn't, why would you care who was on my list?

a reich to last one thousand beers

My parents are off eating dinner and doing improv together, as today's their 20th anniversary. Hurrah. It means the house is 10 years old. Which makes sense, as I moved to summit in 2nd grade. And this summer, Kasha turns 10, as well.

So since I'm alone in the house, I've been irresponsible, and instead of doing science homework (gah! I really need to, don't I?) I finished Gattaca (I rewatched the first part in Spanish, then switched to English once I didn't know what was going on), watched the Simpsons ("Duffmensch" - the joy), and then proceeded to watch some MTV. And, oh, the "My Band" video just made my day. I'm reminded why I love Eminem.

Ah, my parents have returned. Time to do some homework.

ladder fun

Doh ho ho. I'm in a good mood. Perhaps even "jolly." Eh wot wot? My oral, though imperfect, went fairly well, I've discovered that Sara did indeed attempt to email me (and I was worried that she simply didn't email because she didn't like me! haha! erm...), and, furthermore, today was both a Green Day (good old green days) and a Knowledge Bowl day. And, I was on Krishna's team. More chipotle for me. Eh, I'd share... if anyone ever wanted to drive me to Chipotle. *cheesy grin*

On the boy front: well, well. The whole sunday-movie-boy-thing is alright. As Stacey pointed out to me online, "Hate to break it to you..." Not much of a "date," per se, but still, it's progress. The best thing about it, however, is that he is fun to be around, and lately, well, I've been around him more often. So, hoorah. And, actually, it's the, I don't know, free-est? I've felt since... I dunno, beginning of sophomore year? When I have a (major) crush on a guy, I almost feel bound to him somehow, as if flirting with other guys would be a betrayal somehow. I know, it's dumb, but that's how it seems to work with me. However, I don't have a crush on anyone in particular right now. So... I'm finally, I don't know, free to flirt with whoever the hell I feel like, without feeling guilty, and without feeling upset if they don't respond the way I want them to. If one boy is mean, I'll just wait for the next class and try again. Hurrah!

But, as far as the boy front goes, let me go down my ladder:

#1: Yes, he's still #1, despite the actions of #2. And, oh boy, he's just hot. That's all. For those who know who I'm talking about and find this description disgusting, bite me, I wouldn't have told you if I knew you would freak out. I mean, jeez, peoples. And, boy, I sure do like getting rides from him. In his car, of course... Heh. Take that how you will.

#2: Yes, it's the boy that I've recently been going through trauma about. He's so nice. It's just... I don't know. There are certain physical aspects that are something of a turn off, especially when he's not nearby to remind me that he's cute regardless. Thinking of him without him around... hmph. But, hey, maybe he'd solve that. I dunno, he mentioned it when we were talking online.

#3: Oh, yes, he's hot, too, just not quite as much as #1. I got to see him twice today, that just made my day. And his sarcasm, you don't get much better than that. Ah, yes.

#4: Aaargh. I never see him! It's annoying. So I generally try to ignore him. Thing is, on the odd occasion that I do see him, he either ignores me entirely or is really nice. Puzzling. Ah well. He looks good in a suit, at least.

#5: Yes, still. I think it's gotten better nowadays. Not so much pressure. He doesn't have to be perfect, and now when he gets mopey I just ignore him. He still fascinates me though. And he's cute when he's concentrating on essay writing!

#6: I saw him today! I saw him today! *hops up and down* Even hotter than number 1, IMHO. If I actually saw him more than twice a month (and then for more than five seconds), he'd be much higher up. Hell yeah.

#7: From here on down, it doesn't really count. Although this guy is hot, and nice, he has a girlfriend, so... pretty much off limits in my book. Good for friend, not good for anything else.

Wheeeeeeeeeeee! That was fun. See the horrible destruction that occurs when my exuberance at finding my science labs leads to late-night blogging? Mwahahaha! Hear my evil laughter, and cower, mortals!

not as bad as I'd thought it would be

Wow. We had no history class today. I feel really bad for Mr. Gore, though. His kid burned himself, so he had to go see him in the hospital. Meh. Instead I went to Wendy's with Kym, and then over to the pet store and met the infamous Rogers. Interesting.

Again, ditching going on. Don't know what was up with him, though, maybe he was actually sick. If he is, I hope he gets better. They both missed the awesomeness of the solenoid demo, though. Did anyone else miss it? I can't remember.

I might actually get an A in comp sci for quarter. That'd be awesome.

Time for bed.

Wow. I cannot stop smiling.

uncertainty

current song: La Oreja de Van Gogh - Los Amantes Del Círculo Polar

en mi misma yo me perdí

Well, the dossier's done now.

I had an eventful weekend.

What worries me most is that I don't know, I don't understand. I'm not sure what to think of it. Should I attach any special significance to it? Does it mean something? Or does it mean nothing at all? And does it really matter either way? That same uncertainty is what drove me nuts about the situation with Chaffin. I guess it'll keep happening again and again, won't it? I'll never cease being confused.

At least I'm happy when I'm around him. Always. I don't think that will change.

... and coriander grows from the banks where we go walking at night ...

pafui no ruru

current song: puffy amiyumi - puffy no rule (puffy's rule)

La la lalala! Oh, man, this song is awesome. I'm sitting here at 12:30 in the morning, plodding away at my dossier, and here this song comes up, and suddenly I'm bouncy. Man, I'm full of energy now.

Let's play it again!

waii!

Hooray! Two people have voted on my blunt truth survey! That's so awesome. At least one of them didn't leave their name, though, because it only lets you see names once two people have left them. So... who else wants to vote? You can be mean, I won't come after you. Heh. Not that I could if I wanted to.

image files, at last

I finally got it through my thick skull that the domain and hosting plan I bought, while flawed, could be used for the happy pursuit of image hosting. So here we go, my first attempt at a layout with pictures.

I feel warm and fuzzy now.

^.^

I shall have to refrain from descriptions of food in future entries in order to save any other-worldly emperors who may read this weblog from indigestion.

Yesterday was fun. Much work on the dossier (not that it did me any good), a healthy dose of Dark Cloud, a few meals, and trivia. Indeed. Though, sadly enough, I considered taking ritalin for next time, because I was completely oblivious to at least half of the game. My god, it sucked. Not that I have a god...

I think I need to read up on religion. When you get insulted, and you don't understand the insults, it's something of a bad sign.

I need to call Nikki. Is it too late? Where's a clock?

mwah!

Happy birthday, Chaffin.

So, today was a good day. Gave above his altoids (like, 4 tins). Libby went, What are those for? Went to science. Proceeded to eat my ice cream candy. People watched in amazement. Baylee went a bit overboard whilst shaking on the sprinkles, but hey, it works. Got new data for the electric field thing. Talked to Christine about my grades. Confirmed the fact that Andy's in my computer science class. Walked to comp sci with Greg. Spent the whole period not working on my dossier. (Oh my god, it was great. I'll work on it all day Monday [and probably Tuesday and Wednesday], and, if I can get away with it, all day Friday, so, a break was nice and I don't feel too guilty about it.) Talked to Ann. Headed off to english, and wrote an essay on a Robert Frost poem. Felt I did reasonably well. Better than last week, at least. Was abandoned by my somewhat lunchmates, but not before being asked if I was almost done. So it was cool. Wandered to the lunchroom. Decided eating with junior peoples would be icky. Wandered outside. Wandered back inside. Wandered towards the english classroom. Ran into Jon. Jon's cool. Hooray. Reached Bess's room. Found Danika, 8 minutes before the end of the period, having just finished her test. Walked with her while she bought a muffin and spicy cheetos. Headed to history class. Ate my chipotle from home. Participated somewhat in the graded discussion. Discovered I could take a link out of my bracelet, and it fit better. Was happy. Talked to Mr. Gore about my F. Turns out I don't really have an F. Was happy. Gave Ms. Bess some forms to fill out for CAS. Watered plants. Cycled teacups. Went home. Watched mum play Dark Cloud. Dad came home. Went out to dinner at an asian restaurant. It was really good. Ate crab cheese wontons (yum), chicken satay (yumyum), sesame chicken (yummy), fried rice (yum), potsticker (ok), walnut shrimp (weird), and cappucino mousse (yumyumyum). Came home, surfed the net. Mum unplugged my wireless receiver. Did the TOK thing. Came up to another computer. Wrote this entry.

And now you're up to date.

ooh... livejournal

So, I got a livejournal account (so that I could read someone's weblog, but whatever), and it was affording me some major entertainment. Heh. Check it.

hallelujah

And I really mean it, this time. As in, chorus of angels. I'm really really happy about the whole CAS thing. Because, apparently, I can have my mom sign off for the thirty CCAF hours and as long as I'm not audited, I'm fine.

Whoohoo! I can still get my sash!

So, my day:

wholesome goodness
We beat Krishna in Knowledge Bowl today. Woot! And now it's being held every week, not just every other week. But with only four people attending, today was less than lively. You peoples should come. Yes... I'm talking to YOU. Well, not you, since you don't go to Smoky anymore. But, other than that, yes, YOU.

So I was glazing my head in pottery, right? I wasn't very happy with it... he's kind of ugly... but I'm painting his shirt, see, and I paint in a green shirt, thinking, t-shirt, right? So then I get the black paint to put in the pupils. And I think, well, this shirt is kind of boring, I'll give it a black trim. So I paint the collar black, and I step back and look at my little guy, and lo and behold. He'd turned into a trekkie. I found that rather amusing.

We have the pillar! Better be practicing our victory dance for next Saturday...

And don't forget the sash.

oh, the horror
The knowledge bowl meet this Saturday was cancelled. It's going to be "rescheduled" (that's right, with a "sh") and it better be on a day I can go. Damn those knowledge bowl people... *shakes fist threateningly* Did you hear that? Threateningly!

Chaffin still hasn't gotten his hair dyed. FOR SHAME.

I seriously wish people would stop with the Jason stuff... just because he wears his hair down one time, suddenly everyone thinks he's hot... I mean, come on, all this oozing over him, it's just creepy. At least, I kinda think so. Hey Nikki, remember that one time, for decades day, when Devin dressed up as, like, a beatnik, or something? Yeah, that's the kind of creepy.

en conclusión
I'm in a rather good mood. Good enough to get off my lazy butt and do some homework, you ask? Only time will tell, my friends, only time will tell.