Thursday, January 30, 2003

as nice as it is to know i'm not alone in the universe, it kind of sucks to know that other people are suffering like i am. most of the time i just feel so isolated from people that i seem to think i'm miserable, and they're not. which is an absurd notion. we're all in the same boat. it's just as hard for most people to get out of bed in the morning as it is for me. in a lot of ways i have it easier, since i'm gifted in certain things. take, for instance, understanding of concepts. usually it doesn't take me too long to catch on to concepts. i don't have too much trouble with that most of the time and i know some people really struggle with it. but i have the idea that all my other faults make me worse off than the other people. in a way, that's rather egocentric. i mean, who am i to say who's worse off than me, or better off? the people who seem to have it better than me are probably working their butts off for it. and although i feel that doing work is a living hell, who's not to say that it isn't hell for anyone else? i think i have a rather low pain threshold. but, see, my friends have just as hard a time as i do. they have to live through hell too. and they have to find some kind of motivation to work.

hmph. well, i don't know. i'm probably more similar to people than i think. it's a nice feeling, kind of. odd, but nice.

Wednesday, January 29, 2003

japanese club today. well, kind of. apparently sakakura-sensei didn't know there was a meeting. so, i borrowed the love hina manga of aharon's that i had been reading and we went home early. actually, aharon let me borrow the first four novelish things. what, graphic novels? i read three of them today. mwahaha. it's a really good manga.

aaargh. everyone's been sick lately. it's icky. about ten people i know have been sick in the past week or so. usually this many people don't get sick at once. i wonder if there's a cold epidemic? i had a stuffy nose for about a week, nikki had lots of ickiness for a little over a week. claire, kymberlee, shaina, all missed school because they were sick. and there are the various feeling icky, but still coming to school people.

eric, i think, is switching out of fourth period tok. gah, that period keeps getting more boring. apparently allie is switching in, which is good since she's nice and someone to talk to, and bad since it means she and kymberlee will spend all period talking about the avs. ah, well.

i brought my mp3 player to school today, and listened, not to mp3s, but to mlir (modern life is rubbish, the first blur cd i ever bought...). wow. but, it's been a long time since i listened to music in school. it was rather nice. and, i brought magical mystery tour to school, and nathan was happy. he was also happy to discover that "i am the walrus" is on that cd. he goes, "wow, that's my next favorite song!" very cool.

the essay i did for parsons was actually kind of fun once i got into it. he made me explain a paragraph in we. so i turned it into a poem. don't ask. it was quite fun though, surprisingly so. the essay on friday, however, is probably not going to be fun. i don't know what it's going to be about, but i was talking to parsons, and he says that we've already written what we need for the essay. i'm like, what the? oh, well.

mom is returning to us on friday at 9 or so (her flight gets in at 8:30). i will probably see her at 9:30. unless i go with dad to the airport to pick her up. that would be nice. but, apparently uncle scott named mum the beneficiary of his life insurance. so, we're going to be wealthy, at least for a while. my dad's planning on getting hdtv and surround sound. my mom wants another computer. she's like, "i'm going to take you on a vacation. i need to give you something." she asks me what kind of car i want, i tell her an old used crappy sedan. she finds this hilarious. she tells my grandparents. they find it hilarious. but, as soon as i get my license, i figure i can have my own car. and some of the money, mom says, is going into my college fund.

aaargh, but, she's shipping the cougar out. i think he's going to reside outside my office. she also mentioned placing him in the kitchen, but that would be even creepier. i mean, there's a damn cougar staring at you as you eat breakfast.

anyways, i ought to go to bed. really, i ought to finish my math homework, but between bed and math, i prefer bed.

Tuesday, January 28, 2003

poor nikki. she was having a bad day last i saw her. i hope she's feeling better. i let her borrow 6 of my gel pens.

wow, it's odd to come home at 1:30.
...
i just ate lunch. and watched some tv. dad's at work, he had a meeting. he got mad at me because i walked to the car and didn't run. grrr. oh well.

bah. tomorrow i'll go in to do a timed essay with parsons during eighth. yesterday i went into his mobile to set up a time. he wasn't there, though. so i look at that one curtained-off area, and i think, what's it like back there? so i go back there and sit down. heh. but someone comes into the mobile, and i think, oh, crap. so i stay behind the curtain and wait for her to leave. she doesn't leave though. and then someone else comes in. and then parsons comes in. by this time my legs are starting to fall asleep, so i move around a bit and they hear me. aaargh. of course, parsons called me a freak. but, yeah, that was the highlight of the day. i was right about the curtain place though, it's quite soothing to go back there.

today i brought revolver to school and parsons played a couple songs on it, eleanor rigby (yay) and yellow submarine (god save me). tomorrow i'll try to bring magical mystery tour for nathan, since he likes strawberry fields forever. i love that song too, it's awesome.

but, tok is turning out to be incredibly boring. kymberlee hasn't been here so far this week, and chaffin wasn't there today, so the only interesting people left in that class were eric and yuri. wow. and we listened to more of the mark twain book today. now, if we were just reading it by ourselves then it wouldn't be so bad, but the pace is bloody slow, the guy's voice is kind of annoying, and he keeps reading it wrong. i'm like, do it right, won't you? aaaargh.

spanish is going to kill me, i've decided. we had a discussion (for participation points, of course) in class on monday and i think i was the only person in the whole bloody class who didn't say anything. today i said one thing, so that's good, but i can't really express myself well in english, let alone spanish, and i didn't really say what i wanted to... the teacher argued about what i said, too, which kind of sucked. oh well, i'll live. maybe she'll give me some participation points.

ginsberg accepted the history packet a day late. i turned it in today during third, and after fourth when i was talking to nikki, he stops and gives it to me graded. i don't think he really reads those things. ah, well. i got full points, which is good.

wow, if any english teacher read this they would probably keel over from the poor use of grammar. i keep switching tenses and crud.

speaking of english, i should go read the intro to we before i forget about it. other than that, i just have the history for tomorrow. i'm sure that eventually i'll have to do some math, but it can wait for now.

Monday, January 27, 2003

yay, nikki and mommy called. i'm happy. odd events abound, but their tale will have to wait for tomorrow.

Sunday, January 26, 2003

current song: girls & boys - good charlotte

yesterday me and dad went shopping. he bought a good charlotte cd, which i have stolen. actually, we got a bunch of stuff. first we went to aaron brothers, where i got 11 gel pens (pretty!). then old navy, where i stocked up on jeans. and lastly (but not leastly?) was borders. i looked up nietzsche and looked at a couple ayn rand books. my dad sees me, he goes "what the heck are you reading? put that down, she's crap. nietzsche isn't great either. you should read some intro to philosophy books." i love my dad. so i don't buy anything, but he buys the gabby gourmet 2003 (it's a restaurant guide), 3 cds, and i think some other book.

but anyways. today we ate out at michelle's. lovely. two pages of their menu was devoted to ice cream concoctions. and, aaargh, since i forgot my history notebook at school (i'm such a spaz) and thus was unable to do any history homework, i had very little homework over the weekend. yep. and we rented barbershop and watched it. so that was fun.

but, i swear, i'm sick of freezer food and eating out. gah. i need my mummy's cooking. i've spent a week now eating nothing but tv dinners, frozen food, fast food, and restaurant food. i need some decent nutrition. the highlight of the day has become my peanut butter sandwich. now that's sad.