The power of pi

Base 23:

3.35kh9k813jk9g9d60jj1
570lia3cmbm3l2jkm490
97g1ggi869m5724ck6h5
0jk0mgbb021c0f5576ef
95abc

Indeed. Yes, children, today was filled with pi-ness. In TOK we watched part of the movie Pi. It's quite interesting so far. In math, after completing another packet from hell (this was from a lesser hell, though) the juniors gathered together and wrote pi on the board. There was also an attempt to write it in binary, but this yielded unsatisfactory results.

Other than that, there was the joy of talking to Alex during lunch (and the desecration of Noam Chomsky), stealing Corey's calculator, eating the starburst graciously provided by Eric, and attending my first art club meeting this year. Hoorah.

Down with Mathematica! for it is hella expensive and does not go above base 36. For shame.

A Good Day

I liked Ivey's reaction to the chocolate. "Wow, THAT took a lot of thought... oh, wait... Oh! Thank you!" Ha ha ha. She'd forgotten about the lunch conversation. Yeah, but, today was not bad, especially for a 5-8 day. (I refuse to call them red and green days. Especially since I've forgotten which is which.) Talking to Greg in comp sci was really fun. Parsons helped me cut out part of my extended essay. (good bye locke! I won't miss you!) And one conversation is really great. It's all I need from him. It helped that I was in a good mood from talking to my other friends. And I talked to Vicky in comp sci, which was nice. I don't normally talk to people. Erm, that I don't know well. But I'm going to try to be more outgoing.

I saw Sara, and Alex and Chris, and Anthony and Paul, all at different times of the day, but still, I saw them. I waved to Sara, and she said hi. It's weird, because now there's a chance they'll recognize me. Before no one would even have noticed.

I got my second amazon order today. Something for my mom (Susan Tedeschi) and something for me, OK Computer. Yes, I am trying to expand my music collection, why do you ask? Just because I've bought three cds in the past week...

Now, off to my drawing homework.

Even more random than you'd thought was possible

quiero que no exista el tiempo
detener este momento
una vida es poco para mí

Meh, well, I've made an outline for my e.e. and read a chapter in Beyond Good and Evil, done a crappy job on my history homework, attempted but immediately given up on the TOK papers, written a program in java that I wasn't assigned, neglected my art homework, done 9 physics questions/problems, and got cheesy presents for Ivey and Eric. A ghirardelli milk chocolate square for Ivey, as we had been talking about it during lunch on thursday and she had mentioned that she liked anything ghirardelli, and later that night, me and mum go out to jason's deli and BEHOLD - ghirardelli chocolate squares for sale. Eric's was a box of rice candies, since he gave me the sticker from one once, and he knows I like the japanese stuff, and so it would make sense coming from me, so yeah. Besides, who doesn't like rice candies? But I digress.

Taking pictures is fun. I've determined that a better light source makes my pictures less blurry. Why is this? Nevertheless, I like many of the blurrier pictures better. They seem to have more "character", or something.

I got amazon stuff over the weekend. Dizzy up the girl (Goo Goo Dolls), El Viaje de copperpot by Oreja de Van Gogh, and Gattaca. Gattaca was on sale and I liked it a lot when I first saw it. Neither of my parents have seen it, they both said they might want to watch it with me. So, I bought it. It's my first amazon order. Nifty. I have to make sure I don't get addicted though. Must conserve my money!

Sadly, mum couldn't find Ender's Shadow. And I thought our house had every book ever written in it. We probably do have it, just buried under piles of other books buried under piles of crap that came with us when we moved... 10 years ago. Wow. Been a long time, eh? Oh, but apparently Matt moved in second grade too, just a little before I did, so I didn't know he was a newbie too. I found this out several weeks ago... Why do I remember it just now? No explanation. Nobody knows. ...

I left my tapes in fox's classroom. Did I mention this? Pinocchio/Sleeping Beauty/something else, Cinderella, and simpsons, though I know not what episode. They're old, so presumably it's an early one.

I have a better senior picture now, I hope. I looked at the batch we took and chose my favorite, and since it was the wrong format I used the clone brush to make it vertical (rather than horizontal), and I think it now works. So yay! I have a better senior picture!

Don't mind the rambling. Tonight I'm rather random. I feel moreso than usual, and that's pretty scary.

edit: The Generated Color Chart of DOOM

I can't think right now. I guess I'll go to bed. That'd make dad happy.

I worked on my e.e., but I still have a ways to go. 3 ritalin in exchange for 20 pages in Beyond Good and Evil, an outline, and a headache.

I need to make sure I don't get clingy. It's what I do when I'm stressed out, and it's never good, for me or for the ones I love. The thing I'm good at is conversations, as long as I don't get scared and withdraw into myself.

It'll work out alright. I just need to do my best, and that'll be enough.

Titled posts, perhaps?

In the future, perhaps, maychance, it is indeed possible that I will write posts which include - gasp! - titles. How profound.

And now, to bed.

Periods 1-4 tend to be happy. I don't know, today was good. Queer Eye in tok, that has to say something. And no homework due in those classes till tuesday. Hoorah! And not to mention pi and zarathustra... It's ok, I'm a nerd.

I've finished Ender's Game. I highly recommend it.

Midterms were sent out today, or so says my art teacher. This worries me. I haven't turned all my science in. Now I feel bad.

I confronted my fear (ha ha) and talked to Parsons about... the extended essay! Hopefully I'll actually get something done friday, since I said I'd go see him on monday. Yaaaargh.

Perhaps I will go to grammar club and make fun of the school newspaper. That'd be fun. But no colloquium, because there is no sponsor. Tsk.

Everybody come to knowledge bowl on october 6! See, I'm doing it for extra credit, but you people should do it OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF YOUR HEARTS. Oh, who am I kidding. Do it for the pizza.

Ender's Game is, indeed, a good book.

Some days I need to ignore certain people, and yet they just make it hard for me, don't they? Talk to my friends but not to me, will you?! Course, when you seem sad around me but not around other people that's kind of depressing.

Damn, I forgot to check out the JETS trophy. Sweetness... Speaking of physics, I'm doing my homework, and yet I'm not turning any of it in. Why is that? I seriously need to just staple and write my name on things BEFORE class. Or something... Godzilla!

Mom and I have been watching Dr. Phil. It's insane, I know. S'ok, though, because he's doing this "Weight Loss" thingy, and we're supposedly gonna do that along with the people on the show. And become thin and beautiful, and all. Oh, yeah, by college, I'll have guys all over me... They'll only start running AFTER they find out about my personality. :)

He was in a really good mood during lunch. I was too. It was really fun. It's the best kind of situation. When I'm unhappy, I don't really talk to him at all and feel neglected and just get more bummed out, and when he's unhappy it brings me down. But when everybody's happy it's just... awesome.

Claire's a vampire!

Apparently there's a girl in art who hates me. I don't really seem to care. Which is odd. Normally I do. But I didn't this time. She seemed to think I did because she asked me if I was going to cry. Umm... no. If I were going to cry I'd sound unhappy. Odd, isn't it?

My e.e. is going to kill me... *runs away in fear* I'm afraid to talk to Parsons because it looms over my head like a little black cloud of death whenever I see him, seeing how he's my sponsor and all.

Dammit... was or were? "Who do you wish I were/was?" Both of them sound wrong to me. Ever since saturday (ok, before then even) it's been bugging me. Stupid useless grammar check on word doesn't find a problem with either one. Grrr...

I wonder what people say about me when I'm not around. What are my biggest faults? What do I do that annoys people the most? Do they even talk about me? Is there anything I could do to make things better? I need to never join in on that stuff, though. Even if I know the person, I should either like them enough not to talk about them, or acknowledge the fact that they're human. I mean, jeez, do you expect them to be perfect? Everyone has good qualities and those good qualities can outweigh the bad depending on your values. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, and that not everybody's gonna like me, but I do have good things about me. And there are people who care about me in spite of my faults.

Did I mention that I was very happy at the end of last night? And all's well that ends well, so don't be thinking I didn't have fun. I know at least one person was worried that I was unhappy.

Today mum bought Dance Dance Revolution. Sugoi! I lost over 500 Calories, supposedly, by using the workout mode.

I don't like my senior picture. My dad took a bunch of pictures, but most of them were in the sunlight and it makes my face look like it's got big white patches on it. Way too much contrast. The other ones I like, which mom took, are the wrong size, so we can't use them. So only three pictures will work, and my favorite of those just doesn't really look good. At least, it's ok, but I don't think it looks like me, or what I like to think of myself as. My eyes are all squinty, or something.

So in a fit of insanity, I took some pictures of myself with mum's old digital camera. After some editing, there was one I liked, moreso than the pic I'll be submitting. How sad. http://www.geocities.com/ekino_kirai/moi.jpg (you'll have to do some cuttin' and pastin' if you want to see it - stupid geocities)

Well, that's it. Night, all.

So tonight was interesting. Ian and I were formally introduced, yo. I played pool with "Neddy", watched Alex and Chaffin play chess (pawn war!), witnessed the banning from pictionary, laughed at Matt's mom's insane dream and weblog reading, heard about homecoming, learned the word "zecchin" (and yes, it's in my (huge-ass) dictionary, Funk & Wagnalls New Standard Dictionary of the English Language, copyright 1946.

zec-chi'no, 1 tsek-ki'no; 2 tsec-ci'no, n.   A gold coin of the
            republic of Venice; the sequin.   See COIN. [It.; see
            SEQUIN.] zec'chin; zech'in.

how's that for you?), saw Eric and Ellen try to shoot each other to death, beheld Anthony's mad hax0ring skills (damn, I'm trying leet, but I don't think it's working), talked to Sara some, petted Alex's doggie, ate pizza, and wondered about Chris's tickling of Ashley's feet (at least, that's what I think was going on). As Eric and Chaffin noticed, I didn't talk much. "You said about ten words, and half of them were 'zecchin'." Ah, well. Maybe Ian will see my blog, as Chaffin mentioned it, but I don't know. *waves to Ian just in case* I pray Anthony will never see it, however, as I will get reamed horrendously for my repetitive misuses of grammar... The whole bet thing kind of depressed me, actually. It shouldn't have, but it did. I mean, why was I there in the first place? And it's okay for people to have feelings. Although I might have gotten the wrong impression. I didn't really hear much. It's okay though. And it's not like she doesn't have a boyfriend... I also wonder if I meet his standards. I'm not sure whether or not he knows I care about him, or even if it's a good thing. I'll live, though. Jealousy will never help me, and it's nice just to know that I have a friend... Maybe boulder is okay. But, man, Eric got a letter from Caltech. I'm so jealous! Oh, wait, I just said I shouldn't be jealous. Damn.


Quotes (more or less accurate):

"Doesn't your mind jump to 'sex' when you hear the word 'fantasy'?"

"I was just starting to respect her, and then she hits me in the head!"

"Did you jack my communist catalogue?"
"Yeah.."
"Are you ever gonna give it back?"
"Maybe..."

"The one with the coathanger!"

"And the electricity would flow better through his body, because of all the metal..."

"That kid with the pale face. I swear, it looked like he was using makeup."

"If I were!"

"Oh my god! We're all gonna die! No, you say, 'There's a car to your left.' "

"You need three cleaners: one for carpets, one for windows, and one for wood."
"I use spit!"

I didn't go. I played video games instead. It saved me at least 20 bucks. And I got plenty of entertainment yesterday to last the weekend. Bunny should have a good time at hers, though. And hopefully the rest of them had a good time tonight. They like that kind of thing more than I do. I'm not as interested in it, I don't think. The one time I went, I think it was fun because of the company, not the event.

It's been bothering me a lot lately, more than I thought it would. And since I can't find a way to say it in person, I'll just put it on here.

I don't think it's fair that you can't go to the college you want to go to. Over four years, it costs one hundred thousand more than boulder, and yeah, that's hella expensive, but there're loans, and financial aid, and scholarships, and summer jobs. You should ask how much your parents would be willing to pay for college. Boulder costs 60 thousand for four years, basically. And if going there means you're going to stop trying, it'll be harder to get extra money, won't it? Harder to get scholarships, and you won't care enough to do the other stuff. At least, I wouldn't want to. The only reason I'm going to Boulder is because it's a decent school and close to home, and I've never really had anything else in mind. If I could find a really great college, one that I'd love to go to, I'd try harder so I could go there. But I've never really found anything I care enough about. You've found that, though, haven't you? Don't you think it'd be a waste to give up now? Aren't there other ways to get it? Did you give up just like that or did you at least try to make it work? If you tried, and you can't do it, then I guess I won't bother anymore. But that doesn't mean it won't bother me. It bothers me to see someone really want something and not able to get it. I'm the opposite - I could probably have almost anything if I wanted it enough, but I don't know what I want. And it makes me lose hope that if I ever do find something, that it'll give me a reason to live, that it will be possible to achieve.

Waiii! Down with the pep assembly. Up with Halo. Hooray!

Ok, I'm trying out a slightly different layout.

Meh. I keep switching between happy and sad. It kind of sucks.

watashi wa genki nai. chipotle wa ryouko da.

butsurigaku no shukudai o oemashita. demo, rikashi no shukudai o oemasen deshita.

The previous statements are probably horribly flawed. It's ok.

ryouko = demon
butsurigaku = physics class
shukudai = homework
oeru = finish
rikashi = lab

current mp3: i love you - barenaked ladies

I sang Ob-la-di ob-la-da today at karaoke. Nathan would be proud. But, god, the singing was awful. Not just me! Though I wish they had more than 3 beatles songs (one of them a cover, no less) to choose from. I could have sung one with a tune. *stabs paul for his crummy melody*

Been an interesting week so far. Tomorrow's toga day, only I don't know what I'm supposed to do for my toga. S'ok. I've got some lovely paint stained sheets my mum doesn't mind if I chop up into strange shapes. I'll be an artistic greek, ok?

I will continue to torture my calculator with endless taylor polynomials, thank you very much.

I still need to ask him if he's going to try to get in. I never actually asked him about it.

Sadly, our tea day shall be postponed for two weeks.

Flaming poptarts scare me.

I just finished watching Memento. Damn. That was a really sad ending. I wasn't expecting that. Good movie, though.

I was kind of in a bad mood on Thursday. It's ok now. Though I appear to have the hiccups. *beats up diaphragm*

Yesterday I got my homecoming dress. It's black with white leaves and flowers. And it's all glittery. It's been shedding. "Glitterous... and we all know what that rhymes with!" I love Carson.

I'm certainly happier now. And not too much homework for monday! (though lots for tuesday.) And I got some driving done today! And what's more, there were no casualties!

Bwah! I've purchased something online! How exciting. It's a stuffed bear from thehungersite.com. I was looking for CAS jobs, and wound up at the hunger site, and saw the bear, and decided to buy it. I don't know.

Nothing happened that was bad, and yet it just didn't feel right afterwards. Like a bad aftertaste.

I will get to talk on the phone more tomorrow, since it is friday.

I'll keep trying, but it's hard when you don't really have any goals. Like mango said, "You're going to Boulder? After IB? Why?"

I talk to them, but I don't really belong. Most of the problem, I think, is that I don't belong in groups. So when they already have their other people I can't really interact. Though I'm not even sure I could talk to them one-on-one.

Even though I'm not prepared for the history presentation tomorrow, I'm going to bed. I've read it and I'll try to work on it during lunch tomorrow. If any of you see me slacking, poke me into working, please.

I have only just finished my math homework. Alas, for tis after 10. For the various peoples:

Although I didn't say anything at the time, I don't think you should give up that easily. There has to be some way to do what you want. You shouldn't have to settle, especially if you want something that much. Or at least, seem to want it that much. Money can be gotten in other ways. And you're not giving up, especially when you just convinced me not to.

People who are sick should not be coming to school! Get rest, you sick thing! *shakes finger in admonishment* Oh, well. Apparently meds help.

Yes, I will talk to you tomorrow. Don't worry. But this homework is being a pain in the ***. Bloody hell. I'll try to work on it during 2nd period. But, dear lord, we have to do that stupid history presentation tomorrow. And I haven't read yet. Damn. But I'll still talk to you regardless.

I saw someone today, but I don't know if he still reads this. Probably not, as his internet is soon to be deceased. Doesn't make too much of a difference, though, his internet really sucks. But I will try to bring my cell on... tuesday.

I never see you anymore. Regardless of the fact that you're in my lit class. And also have second off. Why is it that there are people who are in my classes but I never talk to? How sad. Come over and visit more often, it's fun. I'll try to separate myself from that lunch table (the one I sat at today) and sit by you every so often.

Ok, before I go to bed, real quick:

Major event of the day: I saw Hoai Anh today. Twas odd. She says hi, I look over, and I go, Dude! It's Hoai Anh! She gave me a hug. It's really cool that she's back, I haven't seen her in so long.

p.s. Mad love for passing periods.

Well, apparently over the weekend I did all the homework due tuesday, but not the homework due monday. Why?? It's ok, neither of the things for monday will actually be turned in till wednesday.

Joel drove me to Chipotle for lunch. An interesting experience. I don't know though. Hopefully tomorrow's lunch will be fun, even though the food will be inferior. I missed talking to him. Or, more accurately, listening to everybody babble, including him.

Apparently I'm going to homecoming. That oughta be interesting. I've never been to homecoming before. Do I even have a dress?

I think I've scheduled a counseling appointment for a non-off period. Wrong day. That should be fixed, and probably soon, since I think it's supposed to be on Wednesday.

Ugh. Damn late fines. 20 bucks for books that weren't read. Time to return them, I'm thinking.

Ugh. Typed in an entry... Forgot that Blogger is dumb... It didn't save it.

Oh, well, it's ok. I won't waste too much more time trying to remember and retype it. I have too much other crud to do.

I'm not actually sure whether I'll be able to get my IB diploma. Let's examine the situation:

• CAS. I thought I would be able to count the extra 30 hours I did last year. I can't. I thought I'd use the 30 hours from the CCAF, but I have yet to get my forms filled out (I don't even have signatures for the time sheet!). I thought I'd be able to count about 30 hours for being officer of a club, but with no sponsor it's probably not going to happen. So that's about 90 hours I'm missing out on. Instead of having 10 hours to do by January, I have to do all 100.
• The E.E. Haven't started on it. Know next to nothing about the topic.
• The History IA. Although I checked out some books, I didn't really read them, and I'm not even sure what my topic's going to be. I might write about something entirely different.
• The comp sci dossier. I did part of it last year, but it's not designed to be an sl problem, so I'm probably going to just scrap it. So I have to do that from scratch, too.

So, prospects are somewhat bleak. I mean, I'm still going to try... I'm not going to drop or anything, but I may not be able to actually graduate. Man. I know it's my fault, but, I don't know. I don't feel guilty... I feel resigned, I guess. Whatever that's supposed to mean.