what am I to do?

Today was mom's birthday. Friday was Hugh's and Nathan's. Thursday, I believe, was Nikki's dad's.

What am I going to do with myself? I feel lost, somehow. I have a feeling that it keeps happening like this, but I don't know how to prevent it or what would happen if I did. I feel aimless, purposeless, lacking a sense of direction. You should know what I'm talking about. Everyone's felt it at some point, I'm sure. Not knowing what to do or why, not knowing if anything really matters, not really caring, not really caring that you don't care. There's a vague sense that I'm missing something, and I think about the homework I need to get done that I'm not doing, or the college applications, or the people I want to talk to. Sometimes things just don't occur to me. I do what I'm doing because I don't see the other options, don't remember them...