damn you, ned

Here was my greeting at lunch today:

"So, Jessa, I heard you were late to JETS... Which makes sense, since you had to come all the way from Jupiter!"

After I got past my annoyance, I had to admit, it was pretty good. If only Chaffin had been there.

Oddly enough, the insult actually made me feel rather welcome. I mean, you don't usually deliver an insult like that to someone you dislike, eh? Well, that's my theory anyways. It's another method of determining inclusion. That's one of the reasons I always used to ask, "Can I sit here?" because it was always gratifying to hear a sarcastic "No, Jessa, you may not. Go away." It means you don't need to ask. It's only when you hear an "Oh, sure, go ahead" that you know you don't really belong.

But, anyway, it also helped that besides this... lovely... acknowledgement from Ned, I also got acknowledgement from Chris (that weird little snap thingy), Foote (a nod, as I recall), and heck, even Andre (a sort of nod)... at least, I think that's how you spell his name. Right? But, whatever. And, another thing I found rather awesome, was that Chris and Foote, once everyone else had left (to snag seats for TOK... haha, 45 students) felt okay talking in front of me. Is this the equivalent of man-gossip? Well, whatever. I find it nice that they feel comfortable enough around me to talk in front of me. At the same time, I kind of feel that they feel they don't know me, enough that they don't have to worry about me understanding much. But it's actually a nice kind of anonymity, for once. One of those times when I'm actually glad I'm not completely a part of the group. And when I'm glad I act as an observer more than anything else when I'm around those guys. I did understand most of it, but not all of it, but I'm not sure it matters anyway, as I'm rather forgetful and I generally try to not talk about these kind of things anyway. Does that make sense? Well, I can always pretend.

Lately I think I'm getting better at appreciating just hanging out with my friends and yammering about nonsense. But, eh, who knows. It's nice to be completely comfortable around a certain group of people, to feel you belong. And then I always have my other group, which isn't really my group, but I do like it regardless. And though I'm never quite comfortable enough to think of witty comebacks or even anything to say, it's ok. As long as I get to yammer to my friends too. ^.^

Hey, did you know Baylee helped pick the plates at the Golden Wok? I didn't know that! That's so cool.

... Damn, I forgot to advertise the double decker bus. Guess I'll try for tomorrow. Or monday.