every day turns out to be a little bit more

current song: Modest Mouse - Bukowski

So I think I may triple major after all.

The Modest Mouse concert last night was really fun. It definitely lived up to my expectations, though I'm guessing that the only reason it did was because it was "the best concert EVER". It was pretty fun... And managing to navigate / jump my way to the front during the encore was fantastic. I could finally see Isaac, and I just stood there in awe looking at him singing while people jumped at me. Man, that was fun. I should have done it sooner; if I ever go to another concert maybe I will.

There were too many people, and it was way too loud, and I couldn't take in my digital camera, and I was rushed eating my food, and we were accosted by hobos, and my shirt cost too much and I think even though I made it one size bigger it's still too small (should have gone for adult medium), and there were people smoking weed really close by and it smelled bad and irritated my nose, and my feet hurt after two hours of standing, and it was absolutely fantastic.

It's nice to be around people who love the music you do, who sing the lyrics as loud as they can and don't look at strangely when you do too. It's nice to be there in person and watch someone making that sound come out. It's nice to be with your friends and enjoying something with them. It's nice to lose yourself in something, to no longer be an individual. Maybe you are something; but that doesn't matter; it doesn't matter what you are, what matters is everything else.

And the encore song was Blame it on the Tetons. I don't even know if they played another song after that. I have a vague feeling they did. I don't even remember. It was just music and jumping and trying to get closer to the source of the music. And staring at Isaac in awe. It was just great.

And I thought, "I'd be so happy if they just played The View, and Ocean Breathes Salty." And then they played "The World at Large" and I remembered how much I love that song too. And then they played "Ocean Breathes Salty". And every time I remembered a song I really wanted to hear, they played it.

Maybe I can get an autograph sometime. Maybe I'll buy Lonesome Crowded West. It's been on my wishlist for a while now...

So today I went in to have an appointment with my math advisor. Beforehands, since I wanted to be prepared, I made a little website to help me along. For kicks, I've posted it on my ucsu page: here. Of course, total overkill. I got in there, she knew my name and had of course looked at my credits, my planned majors, etc. So... yeah.

So I told her that I was planning on studying abroad my junior year. The program I was looking at lasts a full academic year, and involves classes taught in Japanese, and apparently offers a limited number of CompSci courses. So she said that would be the time for me to complete the arts & sciences core. But, she also said that if I did that I would probably end up only being a few classes away from getting a Japanese major... So... I might be triple majoring. Cam offered to provide me with firearms and ammunition. I don't think it will really be that bad, though... will it?

It makes me wonder... am I really capable of pulling this off? I haven't even been keeping up with my classes lately... I've been slacking on Japanese in particular, and I just feel so... helpless, in a lot of ways. I'm mad at myself for not doing it, but I can't get myself to act differently.

Am I just forgetting what I truly want, or am I just not capable of doing what I need to do?

Am I taking on too much, or am I trying to add on enough to make myself motivated again?

Regardless... I am happy. Because I got a free t-shirt. Got Math?