gah, i think i'm depressed, or something. i'm just... bummed out. it's possible that this whole uncle scott thing is affecting me more than i thought.

dad says that after something like this happens, after it's all over people go through a period of depression. you're trying to adjust to life, to normality. but at the same time, you're trying to figure out what's changed, and how life will be different. like, after 9-11, a lot of people had trouble trying to figure out how their lives would change afterwards. maybe i'm just having extra trouble because i'm starting to think about growing up, moving on, achieving independence, that kind of stuff. normally that kind of thing doesn't concern me much. i've never been that excited about breaking away from my parents. but now i'm starting to think that i want to make my own mistakes, instead of just constantly depending on others. before this i've always been too scared of myself to accept the consequences of my actions...