ah, the joys of Westword

"With the chicken burger, Max does have something unique. Something uniquely awful. Imagine a
perfectly good, perfectly innocent chicken breast walking down the street, minding its own business.
Suddenly, it's set upon by thugs and ruffians who grab it, beat the living crap out of it, throw it in the
back of a van, take it to the nearest rendering plant and put it through the meat grinder. The resultant
chicken mush is left out to dry, salted and peppered all to hell, then formed into a patty bulked out by
wood chips and Styrofoam packing peanuts, grilled for about an hour and a half under a greasy brick
and served. Voilà! The Max chicken burger: a dry, flavorless, strangely crunchy meat puck that, while
not actually containing wood chips and Styrofoam, sure tastes that way."

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