i talked to dr. lane today. i gave her my $600 for the europe trip. she asked me how i was doing in english. when you think about it, i'm doing so much better now than i was doing last year this time, it's not even funny. i'm really worried i'll slip again, though. i have some a's, and nothing lower than a b, maybe even b+, but i'm still afraid i'm going to fall down and not pick myself back up in time. and i'll get an f, not just on my quarter grade, but on my semester grade, and i won't be able to get into college. or i'll have to repeat a class because i'm too lazy to do the homework. but i get paralyzed whenever i think these things. so instead of doing my homework, which is the rational solution to the problem, i run away from my problems, and i don't do my homework. so worrying about it makes it more likely that i really will get bad grades. aaargh! i hate stress, and i hate school, and i hate homework, and i hate worrying, and i hate my own idiocy. it's ok, i'll get over it. i'm off to do math NOW, if i can manage to tear myself away from the computer for long enough...

>.<