owari (fin)

Fall semester is over.

I went back to Aurora on Thursday and Friday to hang out with my parents. I played Soul Calibur pretty much the whole time. It was enjoyable. My mother experienced carpal tunnel symptoms. That was not the enjoyable part.

When I picked up lunch at Chipotle on Friday, I saw Jared Hughes, but I didn't recognize him until after I had left. It was really eerie. The whole experience was eerie. I don't belong there anymore. I don't know if I ever really "belonged" in the first place, but at least I felt comfortable there.

My affection for Aurora has been a bit dulled by time. I now feel like I belong more in Boulder than I do in Aurora. It's kind of bothersome. I don't see myself as being someone who would particularly like Boulder. But at the same time, I'm familiar with it. It's a nice college town. I know where everything is, it's not too busy (especially in the summer), and there are lots of nice little shops and restaurants that are fun to go to. I know where the grocery stores are, the Jiffy Lube, the two bank branches, the various fast food places, the cheap gas stations, my friend's houses, school. I know the bus routes. I know my way around the engineering center. I know enough of Norlin to be able to find books by obscure Japanese authors in English OR Japanese. I know how to drive to Golden, to Aurora, to Denver, or just to Flatirons. I know where to buy flavored oils to make hard candy.

Oh well. That's ok. Boulder doesn't have videogames. I'm pretty bored. I guess I could play with my nintendog. I got a DS for Christmas. It's so sweet of my parents. I'm not worried about playing it all the time and not getting my homework done. I'm pretty happy about my grades this semester:

ETH	1 credit hour	A
Japanese	5 credit hours	A
Japanese Lit	3 credit hours	A
Computer Science	4 credit hours	A
Math	3 credit hours	A-

I don't think I've done this well since middle school. Or something. I'm proud of myself. It's nice that I did actually work hard, I got good grades, and I didn't even kill myself. It kind of proves to me that I do best when I'm so busy I don't know what to do with myself. Of course, it helped that two of those (ETH and Computer Science) were reaaaaaally easy.

But back to the DS. So far I have two games, Nintendogs (it came with the DS) and Electroplankton (a Japanese game that my dad bought for me). I was really excited about both of them at first, but now it's a bit disappointing... The electroplankton game, though cool, doesn't actually have any Japanese in it (one of the reasons I was excited), and it also doesn't seem to have any sort of scoring system or goal. It's cool, but I can only do so much. I think I'll not play it until the plane ride to California, because that way I'll have more fun fiddling with it. I guess I just don't "get it." The nintendogs, though cute, is annoying because it uses voice commands that do NOT seem to work. It's really frustrating to keep saying "sit". I figured out how to make my dog come without relying on just saying her name, though, because if you tap on the screen with your stylus it seems to get their attention. I'm most looking forward to playing games with my mom. I think, of all the things to do with the DS, that will be the most fun. I can't wait to use the little chat program, and to figure out how to play nintendogs and electroplankton with her.

I feel bad though. I don't want to seem ungrateful. The games are still cool, but they're just not quite what I was expecting. The coolest part of the electroplankton game is the instruction booklet that came with. Personally, I think that alone makes the gift. It's entirely in Japanese, and it's so fun to try and puzzle out what it says. Maybe once I read the whole thing I'll figure out the game itself more, and it'll be more fun to play.

I want to throw a partyish thing up in Boulder, and invite people from high school, but I'm still unsure. I've never thrown a party before, and I'm kind of afraid that some of my friends will hate each other, or something, and ruin the whole thing somehow. Well, anyway, to those of you that still read this, what do you think? I was thinking a January 1st party, where we do something lame like watch movies, or bake, or something. My only suggestion so far is a "Back to the Future" marathon. I was also thinking we could go to the Video Station and have a "find the cheesiest movie" competition.

Well, I'm heading back to Aurora probably tomorrow, and I'm leaving for California on Saturday, so for those who can, we should hang out.

wishlist of sorts

The following are awesome.

doctor who scarf
buffalo sauce
fuzzy dice
XL binary shirt
hello kitty rubiks cube

Kingdom Hearts II = Lurv

The worlds of Kingdom Hearts II will include:

Beauty & The Beast
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Little Mermaid
Aladdin
Hercules

(The new worlds:)
Mulan
Lion King
Pirates of the Caribbean
Steamboat Willie

And Tron has just been announced.

Eeee! Tron!

That's awesome.

... And Auron. <bouncebounce> There are screenshots. Of him killing things. Yay!

So I watched one of the previews. On the Japanese site. It's not so bad to navigate, but maybe I'm just saying that because I can kind of understand bits. Like the button that says "modoru" meaning return. And how the PV means trailer, because it said "toreera" underneath in the explanation bar.

Now it's saying, "Did you see the 'Kingdom Hearts Final Mix' (something)'s ending?"

But I digress.

Point is, I did catch a glimpse of Tron - awesome. And Stitch. I bet he's going to be a summon. Teehee.

But yes, I am thoroughly enjoying this. If only it were coming out here, not just in Japan! But more importantly, if only I had the time to play it!

I wonder when I'll be able to bumble my way through games in the original Japanese?

Oh, and it costs about $77 in Japan. Haha. Sucks for them. 'Cause you know it's only going to be 50 or so here.

Unless it isn't. That would suck.

Bed!!

procrastination

I'm sick of this layout but I don't have time to make a new one.

My stomach feels funny.

I need to do Japanese homework. I think that's why I'm still awake. Otherwise I'd be sleeping. And yet, notice that I'm not actually getting anything done. I'm just postponing homework more, and sleep in the process.

Roleplaying is fun. I like the tv series Lost. I'm hungry, or something. Stupid stomach.

I'm worried about all the things I have to do, but that makes me not want to do them. And write pointless blog entries, instead.

I got a $20 parking ticket on Saturday. I forgot that the meters still work on weekends, just not after 5. So I guess I deserved it; I parked there for about two and a half hours. I guess I'll just park in the DLC lot from now on. That's free on weekends.

That's five minutes of my life, wasted. Oh darn.

So this one time, I got this piece of custard-looking pie from the fridge at work, and it tasted salty. I threw it away. About a month later, it was revealed to me that it was not, in fact, a custard pie, but brie.

people, and such

I stole this from a baby site. So everyone can see how old I am. Aren't I precious.



It's been a long time since I've written anything. I guess I'm one of those irresponsible webloggers who never updates.

I went to a Halloween party at Mines last Saturday. I hung out with Eric, Libby, Erin, Eve, Ramrod (I have no idea what his actual name is - Ramirez?), and Libby's friend Karin. It's been a long time since I've talked with them. I think I had a good conversation with Erin. I've missed Eric, especially. It was nice, even though I was forced to awkwardly mingle.

Life is busy and seemingly uneventful. I roleplay and go to SFFU every Saturday. On Fridays after Algorithms I've been getting some sort of fast food with Kenneth and Jude and then going to pick up Daniel for our text-rpg meeting.

There are nice people in my classes: Chris and Justin from Japanese are alright people, and Tasha is nice but has a bit of Freshman syndrome (but not nearly as bad as some people I know); Sylvia and Tom from Japanese Lit seem to be nice, too.

I'm making a video for a class project with Chris and Justin. The topic is "friendship." I have no idea what we're doing, but it's happening in a week. Chris is from Berthed, and comments on the dinkiness of his hometown. As was revealed to us in class on Friday, he once shattered his kneecap while skiing. He also owns the ORIGINAL Battle Star Galactica. Justin and himself often quote rejected, in Japanese.

Chris: "Boku wa banana da!" (I am a banana!)
Justin: "Boku no supuun wa taihen ookisugimasu!" (My spoon is too big!)

It should be noted that this Chris, and Grenard Chris, are not the same. Grenard Chris is currently in Japan.

Tasha lent me her USB so I could get a nice Japanese font. She likes Macs. She often crochets hats in class. Makes me think of the SciFi kiddoes. Oh, and she quotes Star Trek.

Sylvia used to be a computer science major and now has no marketable skills, as she dropped computer science for Japanese. Hooray. She's apparently in Gabbie's geography class. I didn't even know Gabbie was in geography. But whatever. I've been to Sylvia's apartment once. She has 2 advent children posters, an FF8 poster, 3 FFX-2 posters, and a Xenogears poster. She also has a dove.

Tom is in the other section of JPNS 3110. He hates cats, apparently, loves Gitaroo Man, drinks Mountain Dew, and somehow found my blog. I don't know if he checks it though. I have evasive tactics of not posting anything for months. I've been too lazy to change the layout, but his website, full of javascript leetness, is pushing me uneasily towards doing so.

I still hang out with Cam, and Jude, and Spencer, and Daniel (obviously).

There's of course Jesse, who roleplays with us on Saturdays. He's the only one left from the original group last year (which consisted of Jesse, his roommate James, their friend Matt, and Daniel).

Kenneth is a freshman who 1) is in my algorithms class, 2) goes to SciFi club, and 3) has started roleplaying with us. He's nice. The more he talks about his family, though, the weirder they seem. His 6-year old brother, adopted from Korea, is "a horny little bastard."

Stephen, Sophia's... err... still boyfriend? Something. That whole thing's weird, apparently. Anyway. He's a Chemical Engineer. I see him around the Engineering Lobby all the time, but he's always working on hideous-sounding homework. He's currently taking the applied math version of Linear Algebra. He was asking me a question about something the other day... and I realized I've already forgotten everything. And apparently there are more proofs involved in applied linear algebra than the pure math version. Which seems backwards to me. Anyway, he's cool. He also roleplays with us on Saturdays. (He's been the crusty, old, streetwise cop, and the friendly, sociable, information-relaying were-raven.) He comes to SciFi, and, he was the one who told Daniel his phone number. Daniel's phone number. As in, Stephen knows Daniel's phone number better than Daniel does. Makes sense. (Since Sophia used to live there.) Also, though I forget it, he knows the house, area, bus routes, etc. very well.

Cam's been roleplaying with us too, lately. He won't be able to play with us next week (because he's getting scuba certification at Hole-in-the-Ground, New Mexico) but now that he has a 9-5 job, he has weekends open. It's really fun.

In completely unrelated news, I don't think there's a recycle bin near my apartment to dump things into. Which sucks, because I have a ton of cans to recycle.

poker

I just spent 2 hours playing online poker with Marilyn. Awesome.

spring registration status

I will be eligible to register for my spring classes on November 1st at 5:30pm. Clearly, I am only posting this to make others jealous. How the heck am I going to know what classes I want to take so far in advance? I'll probably end up registering sometime in mid-December and not getting into any of the classes I want. Speaking of which, I wonder if Jude's taking Physics 1 next semester, or if perhaps Spencer is taking Probability... Hint, hint. Eh, Spencer doesn't read this though, so I'll have to actually torture him in person about my early registration time. He's the only one who seems to care about it, anyways.

I realized, too late, that I should have entitled my last post not "Jean Holes," but rather "Holy Jeans". Holy Jeans, Batman! I need new pants!

jean holes

So you know how I just made that entry about throwing away my favorite jeans because they had holes in the thighs? And how "I can hold off on buying the Old Navy jeans until I throw away another pair"?

Looks like I'll be making a trip to Old Navy to use those giftcards.

The jeans I'm currently wearing have a hole in them. In the crotch. Right at the seam at the bottom of the fly. It was much tinier earlier this evening.

Dangit, I hate throwing away clothing. It feels like such a waste.

Then again, on this same pair of jeans, one of the belt loops has also ripped, leaving a belt... tag. Or strip of fabric. Or whatever.

So, currently, I think I have maybe three pairs of good jeans. Dangit. I need more than that if I want to avoid doing laundry for months at a time...

dinner

Oh, man, chicken caesar salad and mandarin oranges - yum. It feels good to eat healthy(er) for a change. The gumbo soup was not as good as I remember though. I was probably hungrier with lower expectations the first time I tried it. Still good, though.

every step that you take could be your biggest mistake

current song: Coldplay - What If

I bought Coldplay's new album (X&Y) at Sam's Club last time I went there with Cam and Daniel. The CD cost $12. The jeans I bought cost more than that. But less than they would have at Old Navy. You could say "But the jeans you buy at Old Navy don't cost anything." Which is true. Because I have gift cards. But now I can buy free Old Navy jeans, and still have these $17 Sam's Club jeans. Or better yet, I can hold off on buying the Old Navy jeans until I throw away another pair.

I threw away my favorite pair of jeans a couple weeks ago. They were the ones with the pocket above the ankle (I never used it, but it was still cool - the clank of the button against my shin always gave me a feeling of comfort) and the cloth belt (that I stopped wearing because, for one, I don't usually wear belts, and for two, it was starting to unravel). They were dark blue. I loved the way they fit... But they got holes where my thighs rub together. I wonder, if I were thinner, would my jeans still get holes there?

I have class in one hour.

I went to the grocery store with Jude yesterday. We bought $112 worth of groceries. $28 of that was mine. He let me drink one of his sodas though.

We bought various goodies. My spoils:

• Two cans of whip cream. (They were buy one get one free.) One for my apartment, one for Daniel's, because he has a cappuccino / hot chocolate maker. HotChocolate.push(WhipCream). Yum.
• One can of hot chocolate. Jude got the other one. (Again, BOGO.) I took mine to work this morning and sipped a mug of hot chocolate whilst I worked on modifying this year's Senior Survey.
• Various six-packs of soda. I got Root Beer, Cream Soda, Lemon Iced Tea, Orange, and half a pack (3 cans) of "Blue Razz Blast", aka Blue Raspberry flavor. Jude got a bunch of six-packs, plus four cases of Ginger Ale. Some of which he plans on bringing to GameDev.
• Snyder's flavored pretzels, which were also on sale. They're buffalo wing flavor - how could I resist?
• Three TV dinners. Swedish Meatballs (which I ate last night at Jude's apartment after we got back from shopping), Cheese Enchiladas, and some other mexican food TV dinner.
• A six-pack of plain bagels. I was disappointed not to find any egg bagels.
• Soup. An easy-eat travel bowl of Gumbo, and the metal can equivalent for dinner at home some night, and another easy-eat bowl of Chicken Tortilla Soup.
• Crescent-rolls-in-a-can. They were on sale, again, so I bought another tube to complement the older one I have. I was thinking I'd make ham-cheese-crescent rolls tonight. 16 of them... eat two for dinner, and put the rest in a gallon bag in the freezer for easy breakfast/lunch/dinner/feeding hungry Daniels.
• And the entire point of the trip - cheesecake. Jude and I split a Sarah Lee cheesecake. We didn't eat the whole thing last night, though. Maybe half.

I should try to catch the 3:02 bus. I'll probably miss it anyways.

chill

It was cold today. I forgot my hoodie. I'd thought I'd left it in math class, but when I returned home I found it hanging on the back of my computer chair. My hands still feel brittle, almost. As if the cold makes the joints less elastic, the tendons harder to flex. Or maybe I'm just getting carpal tunnel.

I have math homework due tomorrow, a computer assignment I haven't started, an overdue essay for Japanese.

Google was today. I snagged a shirt for myself, a shirt for my coworker, and a black shirt with the female sign, or whatever, on it.

Picture the following with long sleeves:


And the following with a larger logo and "I'm feeling lucky" button on the back:


The shirt I got last year looked like this:


And I snagged the green version of the following:


As well as some computer-shaped post-it notes.

However, I did not win in the raffle that followed:




... among other things.

Sam won the speakers, though, I believe, and Marcus (a friend of Luke's) won a zip-up fleece hoodie-ish thing (not pictured).

I'm tired. Not quite content... My life is nagging at me, telling me to get certain things done. Maybe I just need a little time to settle...

to do

current song: C:\WINDOWS\system32\oobe\images\title.wma

It's a cool song. Follow the filepath and you too shall find it...

Perhaps it's better to title my posts after I've written the entire entry. I'll see how that works out.

I'm quitting Dracon Games. For a while at least. It's another thing to make me feel guilty about not spending enough time on. We'll see how things go...

I still need to finish my email to Hari, my Japanese epal. She last emailed me over two months ago.

I need stamps. I've written my thank you letters, printed them out and everything, but I need stamps so I can mail them. I also need to remember to give them to Gretchen Lee. She's the scholarship coordinator person around hereparts. And lucky me, her office is in the Dean's office. Like, not even 10 feet away from my cubicle. I just need to remember those stamps... and to put the thank you letters in my backpack, since apparently they're not in there anymore.

I've managed to get most of my laundry done, which is nice. Still need to put it all away though; one of the loads is sitting all clean and neatly folded in my laundry basket. No, I haven't been throwing my dirty clothes in there with it. They've been going in the hamper. It's pretty full right now, though, because two thirds of it are taken up by the black comforter I stuffed in. Now my floor is clear for my new rolly chair! Hooray for rolly chair!

I set up a user account on my desktop for Cami to use, since we're having a lot of trouble getting internet working for her desktop. Hmm. I should probably tell her about it...

Once I get my motivation up I'll organize my room.

You'd think I'd think of something better to post than yet another todo list...

grammar lesson

ことになる。koto ni naru. it was decided (by someone else)
ことにする。koto ni suru. I decided
ものだ。emotional content
→したものだ。 shita mono da. I remember doing fondly
→するものだ。 suru mono da. you should do
→するものか。 suru mono ka. it's better that...
→いいものだ。 ii mono da. i wish that...
→してみたいものだ。 shite mitai mono da. want to...
ように、、、。you ni... the purpose; to indirectly tell; "I told him to..."
なくてもいいだ。nakute mo ii da. you don't have to
わけだ。wake da. because of that / for that reason
のに、、、。no ni... in spite of... (emotional connotation)

things that are on my phone's todo list that shouldn't be

When I walked into Advanced Math today, I saw this written on the chalkboard:

Lonely wanderer thinks
by proof of contradiction
that he can not exist
                — nonexistant

I have been told by my Japanese Literature in Translation teacher to rent "The Twilight Samurai." Apparently, it's... good. Or something.

Alas, I cannot remember the code to my ETH classroom, so I had it on my phone. But it's taking up space. Oh well. Not like I plan to come in when no one else is around. (DELETED!)

I need to buy various books for my Japanese Lit class, still. The one I have written on my phone is Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by the (apparently) marvellous Murakami Haruki (translated by Alfred Birnbaum into English, thankfully). However, I have a much more pressing need to buy Oe Kenzaburo's The Silent Cry.

I'm fairly sure I no longer need my course abbreviations, as I'm no longer buying textbooks, and, more importantly, I've memorized them all already.

Lastly, I have made a reminder to cancel my SMS.AC account online, as I was getting a lot of pesky text messages (friend requests from weird people, etc.). However, they seem to have stopped and... I'm lazy.

musings

So, screw it. Back to English.

Apparently for Japanese class, one of the assignments is to create your own blog (yes, on blogger even) and make entries in Japanese. So… Back to normal. Trying to write entries in Japanese was making me want to write less often, rather than more often (if it’s even possible for me to write less often). Yes, I did have wind of this ahead of time, as Saegusa-sensei had mentioned it in an offhanded and vague sort of way, but I’d be happier making a new blog than sacrificing my regular one for a homework assignment. Granted, a homework assignment constituting a reasonable chunk of my grade, but still.

In other news, I have a job. My first day of work was last Thursday. It was exciting.

… It’s weird. I keep getting these xanga digests. I get the journal entries from Mary and Kaila and Ashley and Sarah and Chaffin and a bunch of other people from high school who I haven’t talked to in a year. I just see the things they’ve written… I didn’t talk to anyone this summer. The weekend before classes started I went with Daniel to Grand Junction. We set out on Thursday and stopped in Aurora for lunch. I saw Srav, Tiff, and Amber at the Chipotle. That was the extent of my socializing. I talked to Danika on the phone maybe three times. Mostly to say that I couldn’t hang out, since I was in Boulder, and had classes, or other things going on. I haven’t checked anyone’s weblog since the beginning of summer, pretty much. I didn’t have the time or the internet connection.

I wonder if anyone bothers to read this anymore. I know that Daniel checks it every now and then, and my dad does too. But… Who from high school would care, anymore? Do they? I wonder if they wonder how I’m doing, just like I wonder when I see that Sarah’s posted something. I expected that Chaffin was gone, but it’s weird to hear it. I wonder how many of the IB juniors (freshmen now) are coming to Boulder? But even if they are, will I see them? Will I talk to them? It’s odd to pass by someone you know, say hello, then go on as if nothing happened. It doesn’t mean anything anymore.

It was so nice to see Jude and Spencer in class last Monday. I’ve missed them terribly. It’s nice to stay at Daniel’s apartment until midnight hanging out on the couch with Cam while he plays video games. It’s nice to see Genny. It was nice to walk with Spencer today. It’s really fun to hang out with Cami.

Tonight, I got home before ten (gasp) and we watched the last five minutes of Buffy, then went to my room to watch the Serenity trailer on my desktop.

I have internet again. I’ve missed it.

Not as much as I’ve missed my friends…

I need to call Nikki. She said she had something important to talk about. I miss her too…

But I still have Daniel. Weird, that he hasn’t gotten sick of me. I’m glad.

私の恋人

背が高くて、目がきれいで、歯がちょっと黄色くて、髪が長いです。毎朝、起きて、朝ご飯を食べます。つかれても、昼ご飯を作って、仕事へ行きます。午前八時半から午後五時まで働いて、家へ帰ります。

笑った時、本当に嬉しいみたいです。

He's tall, he has pretty eyes, his teeth are a little yellow, his hair is long. Every morning, he wakes up, and eats breakfast. Even if he's tired, he makes lunch and goes to work. From 8:30 to 5:00, he works, and then he returns home.

When he laughs, he looks truly happy.

つまらない物

音楽：パフィーの「スイスイ」

昨日工学のビルに二人のダニエルの一週間に一回の会議が終わる時、プリンターを使うために同じの部屋に行った。二人番のダニエルは私に日本語のクラスで聞きまして、このページを打ち明けました。「日本語で書くの？つまらないはずだよ」と言いました。本当につまらないですか。

music: Puffy Amiyumi – Sui Sui

Yesterday, just before the end of the two Daniel’s weekly meeting in the engineering center, I went into the same room in order to use the printer. The second Daniel asked me about my Japanese class, and I told him about this webpage. “Writing in Japanese? That’ll be boring,” he said. Is it really that boring?

英語もいい？

Would people like it if, for every entry I wrote in Japanese, I gave the English translation? Please leave a comment below, for feedback!

新しい

日本語の練習のために日本語で書こうと思います。下手でも、書きます。書けば書くほど、とくいですから、毎週３～４回書いてみます。

In order to practice Japanese, I plan on writing in Japanese. Even though I'm poor at it, I will write.　The more I write, the better I will become, so I will try to write 3 or 4 entries every week.

英語で　(English)　：　gamedev blog

gamedev.cs.colorado.edu/~ichigo

laptop

I picked up... crappy nail. Pardon me while I go cut it so that 'c's and 'd's are less annoying to type.

Ok, that's better.

Yesterdy I went home to Aurora and picked up my laptop (and the money I need to pay my rent... which reminds me, I need to write a check) and am now sitting in my apartment mooching internet. Hooray for mooching.

My new laptop is sooo pretty... Me likeses. Me will play WoW with mommy. Must install this weekend...

I need to buy more macaroni and cheese. I was so planning on coming home today, boiling up some macaroni, and cheesing it, but lo, I was out of it. I've been reduced to eating easy mac. Sad day. And I was all motivated too...

I like this laptop keyboard better than my old one. <huggles laptop>

screw you blogger

Quit screwing up my damn layout! I don't want to have to write another work around this time! Ok, fine, that's it, I'm getting my own damn webpage. In another... uh... year or so.

and a final post for the afternoon

CU CSCI Student Directory - Seniors

What the hell?

oh the irony

Wow, it's really quite exciting. I got hit number 11111! Too bad it's on my own frickin' web journal.

whatever

Eh... Life goes on. Things are back to the way they were before, kind of.

My dad bought me a laptop on Father's Day. I bought him Aqua Teen Hunger Force, season 2. I think it was a good gift. We watched a few episodes.

Mom, since I didn't get her a gift on Mother's Day, got the belated crappy consolation prize of Raspberry Altoids (which I'd gotten over spring break but kept forgetting to give to her) and my John Mayer cd.

Rob's brother is coming to town this weekend so Daniel is lending him the use of his bed. Now his computer is communing with my own back at the apartment. We're going to reformat my computer, which hopefully will fix some of the crumminess. I'm also planning on roleplaying on Saturday (with Daniel, Jesse, and hopefully Stephen, who is Sophia's boyfriend). And I'm also planning on going down to Aurora Saturday night or Sunday or something and dragging Daniel with me.

I hope I actually get the chance to hang out with the old Smoky crowd sometime... I miss them. I've been invited to two different things now that I wasn't able to go to. Last weekend was just bad, though, since Saturday was... err... Genny's barbeque.

There's only one week left of Japanese. Then, a new semester... but still. It's intimidating. I have a week left to make up the tests I horribly failed (read: got a B- on) and memorize the thousands of frickin' kanji (read: 50 kanji) that I haven't learned yet. It's fun, though. I did much much better on the oral this time around. My performance on the chapter one oral was T3H SUCK.

no, I'm not dead

Yes, it's been a while. So... My laptop's dead. While attempting to jiggle the powerplug back into place, I turned and tripped on the cord, resulting in the laptop falling off the dresser it had been placed upon. I managed to catch my laptop mid fall, but not before it bashed itself on the dresser. So now it has a lovely gigantic diagonal burst of dead pixels, and the power cord sparks and hisses angrily when you attempt to jam it into the unreceptive port.

The result of all this, is that I attempted in vain to get my data off the harddrive in the remaining 18 minutes of battery power I had left. I brought up my desktop to my apartment... and now I have no internet connection. So I've been checking my email sparingly, much less surfing the net and weblogging like I used to.

The period between the end of spring semester and the beginning of summer semester was somewhat tortuous. If, uh, that's a word. Maybe it means cake-like, I don't know. At any rate, I was exceedingly bored with no job, no net connection, no tv, no friends up in Boulder, and a boyfriend with a 9-5 job. I mean... I did stuff... but... it was pretty boring. Now I'm in school. It's not so bad. Three hours of every weekday are occupied by class, I have two clubs to go to every week, and I have homework to do and various household chores.

So my parents have decided to grant me financial independence. It's not like I didn't want it, but, I currently have almost no money, and no job, and I need to find one. My mom tells me "Well, I don't think your father will want you to get a job this summer," but I can't really afford not to anymore. I have a certain amount of money that was saved up for college but I don't want to take out any loans, I don't want to spend it all and have no financial backing for when I'm looking for a job after college, I don't want to sell the stocks, and my living expenses right now are kind of horrifying. I'll cut back, and such, but... I don't know. It's frustrating, because I've never done this stuff before and... Eh, I'm just whining. It's all stuff I have to do, and it's all stuff I don't really know how to do, and even though I want a job, in a vague kind of way, I don't, because it'll take up a lot of time, and getting it and keeping it and doing it are ... well... work, I guess. It's always easier to just sit on your butt. I think once I make up my resume and find some places to send it, write the cover letters, and file my applications... it'll be... better.

So, yeah, I'm not dead. See?

Yes, I'm a terrible child.

Film School: The Interactive Adventure

stuff.

Did I mention that my glasses are broken and are now being held together with tape?

Did I mention that I'm done with finals?

I got an A in Japanese.

I got a B- in math.

I don't know my other two grades yet. I probably won't for a while.

I think I'll get a triple major.

I don't know if I want to study abroad in Japan for a whole year. I think I might miss people too much.

It's nice for school to be over, and it's only the beginning of May.

It's nice to have a partial summer and know that I'm going to have structure again.

I'm subletting a one-bedroom apartment from Jaime. Jaime = sorority girl / Chinese and Spanish major / astronomy friend and study buddy of Cam.

I bought dishes and pots and pans and foodstuffs for the apartment. Daniel helped me get a King Soopers card.

I used it today to buy ice cream and cookies and ritz crackers for Mom.

Dad made pancakes for breakfast.

He made mashed potatoes for dinner. Mom made stuffing. And heated up leftover turkey and gravy and not-as-good-stuffing (which nobody ate) and opened up a couple of jars of cranberry.

I missed two calls from Nikki. I'll call her back tomorrow.

I like having my own place to live.

I finally brought my car up and have been using it to drive around Daniel and his sister and his roommate and Luke and myself.

I went to Noodles & Company with Daniel and Luke. I was highly entertained. It disproved my theory that all three of us can't talk with each other at once.

I bought dried apricots for my dad and he discovered that he didn't like them. I'll give the rest to Daniel, who does.

My skin has been less pimply lately.

I've lost one of each pair of dangly earrings so now I just wear my one remaining yellow-green with my one remaining blue-green and pretend they're a pair.

Right now I'm wearing turtle earrings.

Final Fantasy is fun, but I shouldn't have spent all weekend playing it with my mom, and I shouldn't have stayed up so late playing.

Mom's returned the PSP she gave me for my birthday, since there are dead pixels.

I don't think I ever made a post about my birthday...

I feel sheepish. Baaa!

Sleepy sheepy.

Time for bed.

- - - - - - - - - - A & S HOURS REQUIREMENTS FOR DEGREE - - - - - - - - - - -
1. BACHELOR OF ARTS HOURS (120)
6 hours remain of the 120 total hours required for a BA degree.

Of course, that's counting the classes I'll be taking in summer and fall.

coincidence

A few interesting things have happened since my last post...

I saw Chaffin... a few days ago? A week ago? Yes, I think it was last Thursday. At any rate, I had wandered to the Physics building with Luke (he helps out students in the little help lab place down there) and so after chatting with him a bit, he found someone to help... So I decided to explore. The help room connected with some labs, and as I wandered about, I just happened to run into Chaffin and Rob. Twas interesting. I ended up spying on their lab, fiddling with some of the equipment in there (like a glowy kaleidoscopic electron diffraction machine thing), messing up the set-up for the spectrum analyzer, then hanging out with Chaffin a bit afterwards. It was a really interesting conversation. I enjoyed it muchly. Which reminds me, I have a xanga to read...

This all was made more interesting by the fact that a day or so before, I'd gotten an email from Kym where she asked if I didn't see Chaffin anymore. She thought it strange. Which reminds me, I have an email to reply to...

On Monday, I also had a rather coincidental meeting with a couple of people. So I forgot to bring my driver's license home this weekend, and so was unable to bring my car up. Lame. I know, I'm a loser. (Well, okay, Habinsky says I'm not but that's yet another story.) So I took the bus up to Boulder. On weekdays, the system is: parent drives me to nine-mile park'n'ride at Parker and I-25. Bus takes me to Broadway & I-25 park'n'ride. Light rail takes me to Union Station. Mall bus takes me to Market Street Station. Then I bus back up to school. Joy. Well, anyways, so I picked a random compartment to get on for the light rail, and was looking for a seat, and of course I have to pick some stranger to sit by, because there are no completely free seats. I spy a blond head and I think "Hmmm..." And, lo and behold, it's Baylee. "Hello" says Jessa, and sits down. So we chat a bit and I notice that the person standing near us looks suspiciously like an old friend from high school. I want to say it was Amberle, but my memory's so dang bad. Anyways, we all chatted before they got off at the Auraria campus, or whatever. It was nice, to get to see them again. Brightened my day, and whatnot.

And as he walked away, not once did he look back.

oh my f***ing god.

Ok, so I'm listening to my roommate and her friend have a discussion about adderol... You know, this really clears up some doubts for me.

I do think I have ADD after all. They're talking about taking this stuff, and they get fidgety and start talking really fast or they get jittery. What the hell?! That's me OFF ritalin. You're not supposed to be that way after you take ritalin or adderol or any of these damn things! You're supposed to be calm, and focused. That's how I am when it works. And when it doesn't, I don't get more jittery. I never get more jittery. How can they take it? How can they talk about snorting it? I'm hiding my damn ritalin.

No, I'm not paranoid.

How can anyone do this to themselves? How can they take speed?? I guess I really do have ADD, because otherwise I'd be like them... I'd start biting my nails constantly or my leg would start shaking after I took my beloved stimulants. With me, taking them makes me stop doing those things. And it's only when they wear off that I get jittery and nervous and distractable again.

Hallelujah! The real proof, for me, that I have ADD. All you other people are apparently just using it to stay up late...

Argh! <pulls out hair>

Mayhaps I shouldn't have had that double shot espresso starbucks thing this morning. I think caffeine makes me more nervous. Errr, my stomach doesn't feel too good...

Well, if caffeine does this to me then maybe I don't have ADD... but... it's not like I'm fidgeting. Just aggravated.

<burps>

Ah, that's better. The world is an okay place. Time to clean my room.

disproof

So, I've been thinking... you know how you get those forwards with the friendly advice and such, like... "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world," and "Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to." (Both of which are lovely sayings, which I have no problem with.)

Now, consider the phrase "No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry." Yes, yes, very nice little phrase. The problem with this one is, it doesn't really work when applied to me. Why, do you ask. Well, I cry at almost everything. I cried at the frickin' Flinstones Movie. Now, the first time, it was excusable, I was probably about eight or so and I was scared that Barney was going to get hanged. The second time I watched the movie I was about 14 years old. I cried at the exact same scene, this time because "I could see the disintegration of Fred and Barney's friendship".

Make fun of me, and I go after your eyeballs with a taco bell spork.

No, I'm not violent... <whistles innocently>

Anyways. So, if I cry at everything, including the Flinstones, how am I going to find a guy who never makes me cry? I ask this. My daddy makes me cry all the frickin' time. Are you saying he isn't worth my tears? Huh?! What if he died, am I not supposed to cry at my funeral because he yelled at me?!

Yeah, take that, handy phrase. You suck. There's a difference between a guy who makes you cry because he's imperfect (and therefore human and not just some figment of your imagination), and a guy who makes you cry and deserves to be stabbed in the eye with a spork.

<continues whistling innocently>

The exception is Chad Michael Murray, who would never make Nikki cry and would make a wonderful boyfriend.

spring break

So it's been a long time since I updated. The most interesting thing I'd say has happened is my trip over Spring Break.

On Saturday I came down to Denver, did some stuff. I can't remember now. I really can't...

On Sunday I went to Robots with Nikki and my parents, then I drove up to Boulder to pick out stuff I needed to take with me, and to get Daniel's stuff.

On Monday I had a dentist appointment. In the evening, Mom and Dad and I went up to Denver and Daniel came down. Daniel and I went to Dinner and then we saw the Hootenanny at the Bovine, which my parents were a part of.

On Tuesday I had a doctor appointment, so I dropped Daniel off at Border's and then after my Mom and I met him and browsed a bit. Then we... did something.

On Wednesday Daddy drove Daniel and I to the bus station and we took the bus to Grand Junction. Daniel's father met us at the station and drove us to the house. We... did stuff. I was allergic to the cat.

Daniel's dad was interesting. Stout, and tall, with a big beard. Apparently he's trying to be a "natural Santa", meaning that he grows his hair out and dies it instead of buying a wig and fake beard. He's building a critter house for all of the critters he owns. He has rats in the den, chameleons in the dining room, and snakes in the bathroom. The snakes were quite cool; one of them, Nefertiti, was an albino labyrinth patterned ... boa... or something... that was maybe 8 feet long, and about 50 pounds. I got to hold her, and later I got to see her feed. She was yellow and white (because she was albino) and really pretty. And apparently also quite expensive.

Lylamae, Daniel's stepmom, seemed nice, but I didn't talk to her as much, I don't think... Hmmm. She gave me her "breathe-easy" tea after I reported that the cat was causing my throat to close up a little. She also apparently refuses to eat actual sugar. She's got bright red hair which seems a bit too startling to be natural, but I didn't ask.

Daniel and his father and I ended up watching The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers, extended editions, and Daniel picked out Robin Hood: Men in Tights to watch as well.

We had spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner. We also tried to go out to Cold Stone for icecream, only to discover that it was closed, so instead went to Safeway to buy sherbet and ben & jerry's.

On Thursday we went down to Daniel's undergraduate college and he visited with his old professors. We went out to dinner with friends of his from the anime club. It was a pretty big table. 13 people. Later we went to Barnes and Noble, and Daniel's father picked us up and drove us back home.

On Friday Lylamae drove us down to Hasting's, the local bookstore (plus music and movies) then we met Terry (Daniel's sister's boyfriend) and he drove us down to Delta (40 miles away). Where we got to Daniel's mom's house. Where we proceeded to do yardwork.

In all of this excitement, I noticed that I missed a call from Eric on Thursday, and though I was sorry to not have been able to hang out, it didn't really matter, as I was, like five hundred miles away at the time.

We also watched Return of the King, extended edition, with Daniel's cousin Ian. And I beat Daniel's little brother William at a game of chess.

On Saturday we hung around the house, then went to a birthday party for Daniel's grandmother (his step-dad's mom). It was hectic. Then we went to his uncle's house where my music was summarily stolen and ripped to his uncle's computer. Meanwhile, Daniel and I met up with his friend Marilyn (and her husband and baby) at Dairy Queen. Mmm, Dairy Queen.

On Sunday, we were fed breakfast, driven to Grand Junction, and from there rode the bus back up to Denver. Then, Daniel had to put up with a ravenous, cranky Jessa on the ride up to Boulder, since there wasn't any acceptable fast food place open. We ate at Subway once we got back to Boulder.

And then... back to work. It's a bit depressing actually. But, you know.

artpad

Here's a nifty little site I stumbled across: artpad. I drew a picture with it: here. I'd recommend you set it to the fastest setting. It's really nifty to be able to see these drawings in progress...

My drawing rather sucks, but eh. I'll get better. Maybe sometime I'll steal my mom's tablet and draw with that. Fun. And yes, I realize the proportions are all wrong... eh. The point is that the site is cool.

Okies, it's time to finally drag myself off to bed.

make your vote count!

finally, an update

current song: The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It

Over 10000 hits, and I didn't even know it...

I think Daddy got hit number 10000.

... That's a big number. I know it's been a while since I reset my counter (like, August of 2003ish). But it's still pretty amazing to me.

daniel: ...So, after working at the front lanes one time when they needed backup (you know me, I always respond to that sortof thing), I dropped by the jewlry boat and asked the girl there for a screw...
daniel: <thinks> I mean...

Eric: "You didn't take your pill today, did you."

I don't update much anymore... It feels like there are so many other things to do or think about. Of course, I'm still spending a lot of time net surfing and such. Useless...

Do you ever chew gum too long?

I'm not talking about chewing till all the flavor's gone and it's just that weird non-taste taste in your mouth. I'm talking about... chewing till it dissolves.

It only happened once before that my gum completely dissolved. I was chewing in the car with my dad and ... all of a sudden, I bit down and my gum turned to liquid. I wanted to spit it out so badly. It kind of killed the conversation. Which, as it turned out, was currently about how my dad didn't like it when I chewed gum.

But before it gets to the point of complete dissolution, it has this really weird texture. That's how my gum is right now. I think I'm going to spit it out.

I gotta figure out how to enter that engineer poetry contest. I might actually win something. Then again, engineers are crazy. There might be a bunch who write better poetry than I do.

sooooooo happy!

I don't get it, I'm just really happy right now. It's quite nice.

<paws through her desk-mess> Ah, there's my smart card reader! Now I can send Sarah those concert pics. Well, pre and post.

I really am happy.

I took two ritalin this morning; I know they're not the cause of my happiness, but I think they might be working, a little.

It's nice to be up so early. I got to talk to Daniel before he left for work. It's a really nice way to start the day. I don't get to go to bed early that often but yesterday I fell asleep before eleven (got to bed by 10:30) and then when my alarm went off at seven, I hopped online, left a message for Daniel, started searching for my linear algebra stuff, and got a message back... It's a good system methinks.

So what else has been going on of late? I reported on the concert, that was quite fun.

So on Friday I told Amy that I didn't want to live with her over the summer... I don't know. I feel bad about it, but, my mom doesn't want me to live with her, and I can see her point. It might be nice to take a break from roommates for a year. Especially since I'm not rooming with Sarah next fall, but I'm still planning to live in Bear Creek. In a lot of ways it makes more sense for me to just take a lease from Bear Creek this summer. I don't have to worry about lease issues, I don't have to move twice, I don't have to worry about being stuck and paying for rent at bear creek next summer, even if I want to come home or study abroad. I don't have to worry about roommates, since my mom's been encouraging me to get a single (though she is worried I'll get lonely). And I don't have to worry about utilities or internet, and I don't have to worry about distance from campus, since I already know how far it is, and I know the area reasonably well.

I just feel bad. Amy's my friend, and... Oh crap, she called me yesterday. Dammit! I forgot. Crap crap crap!

Erm... yes... I shall call her back... erm, today.

D'oh, I hate being a moron. It has disadvantages. I know, I know, everyone thinks, "Being a moron? That sounds great!" But believe me, it has its downside.

Well, ah, ok, so. She sounded reasonably happy on the voicemail she left me. That's a good thing.

So, yeah.

What else?

So on Friday I went to dinner with Daniel and then to part of Anime, before I decided he was way too tired and needed sleep. He'd been up since 2 in the morning, after all...

And on Saturday I... errr... Oh, yes, I chatted online (err, I think), then lolled about, watching whatever the heck was on the tv (some movie, don't remember now), then went home. Home was good. It made me happy.

So I've decided that I don't want to drive to Grand Junction (a bit stressful for a baby driver... that's right, I'm a baby) but I'll bring the car up probably next weekend. Mom thinks she'll come up to Boulder on Friday and let me drive home, since I've never done it before. Driven to Boulder, yes, driven to Aurora, no.

Oh, dangit, where'd I put my parking permit again?

And I played WoW with mommy a bit.

I've been really moody lately, though. It's... disheartening. I don't know if it's hormones, brain disfunction (borderline manic depression? nah. maybe? nah), some weird thing, external stuff (though, what?), or... uh... yeah. Where was I going with this? Is the ritalin wearing off already?

Speaking of which, I have homework to do.

(24 minutes! 24 minutes, wasted on a blog entry! Shame!)

(Make that 25.)

every day turns out to be a little bit more

current song: Modest Mouse - Bukowski

So I think I may triple major after all.

The Modest Mouse concert last night was really fun. It definitely lived up to my expectations, though I'm guessing that the only reason it did was because it was "the best concert EVER". It was pretty fun... And managing to navigate / jump my way to the front during the encore was fantastic. I could finally see Isaac, and I just stood there in awe looking at him singing while people jumped at me. Man, that was fun. I should have done it sooner; if I ever go to another concert maybe I will.

There were too many people, and it was way too loud, and I couldn't take in my digital camera, and I was rushed eating my food, and we were accosted by hobos, and my shirt cost too much and I think even though I made it one size bigger it's still too small (should have gone for adult medium), and there were people smoking weed really close by and it smelled bad and irritated my nose, and my feet hurt after two hours of standing, and it was absolutely fantastic.

It's nice to be around people who love the music you do, who sing the lyrics as loud as they can and don't look at strangely when you do too. It's nice to be there in person and watch someone making that sound come out. It's nice to be with your friends and enjoying something with them. It's nice to lose yourself in something, to no longer be an individual. Maybe you are something; but that doesn't matter; it doesn't matter what you are, what matters is everything else.

And the encore song was Blame it on the Tetons. I don't even know if they played another song after that. I have a vague feeling they did. I don't even remember. It was just music and jumping and trying to get closer to the source of the music. And staring at Isaac in awe. It was just great.

And I thought, "I'd be so happy if they just played The View, and Ocean Breathes Salty." And then they played "The World at Large" and I remembered how much I love that song too. And then they played "Ocean Breathes Salty". And every time I remembered a song I really wanted to hear, they played it.

Maybe I can get an autograph sometime. Maybe I'll buy Lonesome Crowded West. It's been on my wishlist for a while now...

So today I went in to have an appointment with my math advisor. Beforehands, since I wanted to be prepared, I made a little website to help me along. For kicks, I've posted it on my ucsu page: here. Of course, total overkill. I got in there, she knew my name and had of course looked at my credits, my planned majors, etc. So... yeah.

So I told her that I was planning on studying abroad my junior year. The program I was looking at lasts a full academic year, and involves classes taught in Japanese, and apparently offers a limited number of CompSci courses. So she said that would be the time for me to complete the arts & sciences core. But, she also said that if I did that I would probably end up only being a few classes away from getting a Japanese major... So... I might be triple majoring. Cam offered to provide me with firearms and ammunition. I don't think it will really be that bad, though... will it?

It makes me wonder... am I really capable of pulling this off? I haven't even been keeping up with my classes lately... I've been slacking on Japanese in particular, and I just feel so... helpless, in a lot of ways. I'm mad at myself for not doing it, but I can't get myself to act differently.

Am I just forgetting what I truly want, or am I just not capable of doing what I need to do?

Am I taking on too much, or am I trying to add on enough to make myself motivated again?

Regardless... I am happy. Because I got a free t-shirt. Got Math?

mmm, brains

a series of importunate events

Today was a fairly good day, I'd think.

So this morning I turned in my program online, and headed off to class... I did end up being three minutes late, but, ah well.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE FRICKING KIDDING ME!

I'm taking the "express" bus route. We've made every single fucking stop on the way here. The whole goddamn point of the express route is that it's faster because it SKIPS all these stops!

No, I'm not cranky.

There are drunk people behind me that are rather loud, but I forgive them, because they quoted Napoleon Dynamite.

And it's 7:13, and I'd expected to be in Denver at 7:15... but guess what, we were scheduled to be at 15th and Platte at 7:11 and we just got to the stop 2 before that one. AND THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING STOP REQUEST!

Maybe the bus is broken, or maybe every stupid person taking this bus needs to get off at a different, special stop.

<grumbles incoherently about stops and the stupid people who request them on the express bus>

We were supposed to skip how many stops? And I think ALL of them were requested. Grr, now I'm going to be late. Ah well.

The good news is, I don't have my laundry with me. I feel free... free! I've just got my laptop, my hengeyokai books, and my Japanese homework. Well, and my purse, too, but that hardly counts, as I carry it everywhere.

It's not so bad though. I didn't even expect to make this bus in the first place...

So, back to the daily events.

In comp sci we got back our tests, and I was happy to see that I received a 93... until Spencer threatened to disembowel me with his Gerber, that is.

~time lapse~

Ooo, time lapse. Psychedelic.

But, yes. The whole depressed homicidal Spencer thing was frighteningly entertaining. We discussed WoW at lunch... and it has been decided by my mother that I shall buy my own account, to play on at my leisure (no worries about kicking dad off), and by myself that I shall be joining the boys' server, where I shall create a human priest and join their guild! And mum shall help me level her up, so she's not a pukey level one and can actually HELP them in battle if need be.

In Japanese, we did grammar stuff, and... spoke in Japanese. Erm.

In Linear, I took a ritalin beforehands and still managed to fall asleep. That lecture made no sense today.

And I talked to various people; Michael, Ransom, Chau... Weird, because a month ago I don't think I knew any of their names. They're interesting kiddoes though.

And... so after linear algebra I spent some time surfing the web and whatnot, finally decided what to bring home with me and packed my backpack, and around 5:35 I headed off for the Hop, which took me to Target.

So I looked for WoW (they were out, of course) and then I swung by where Daniel had said he'd be working. Not there... so I swung by where he normally works. Not there... so I swung by the cash registers, thinking maybe he'd responded to a call. Not there... so I directed my gaze toward the customer service counter, remembering him mentioning working there, or at the very least, talking about working with people who did work there. So in my peering a flicker of motion caught my eye in the clothing section straight in front of me... What do you know.

So, I said hello, and helped him figure out where one of the skirts in his cart of abandoned clothes was supposed to go... and picked up a particularly ugly skirt from his cart, put it back, and discovered that where it was supposed to go, someone had left 5 shirts. Grrr. So I put all the shirts back in their proper places so Daniel, or one of his coworkers, wouldn't have to...

It's one of those things, I understand now why mom was always such a stickler for putting things back where I'd found them. I have a much better idea of what the poor employees have to go through when I leave items in random places...

But, yes. So I left the store, caught the bus just as it was leaving (it was awesome, it must have pulled up when I was less than 100 feet away, and waited till I ran up to the stop), and thought to check my phone for the time. It was then that I noticed I had missed a call. The cool part, though, is that I pulled my phone out of my pocket less than a minute after the call. And, I had accidentally set it to volume level one, and there was fairly loud rap music on the bus, so, maybe I heard the phone and subconsciously knew it was ringing, but it could also have been pure luck. Awesome.

And so I called back my mom, and she said she'd be getting downtown around 7:15. I was currently planning on taking the bus leaving at 7:05 and arriving at 7:44. However, the bus before that was scheduled to leave at 6:36 and arrive at 7:15. During the call, the current time was: 6:22.

So, I told my mom I'd try to ride the earlier bus.

I ran to my room and grabbed my backpack (6:28), then huffed and puffed my way to the bus stop. I got there at 6:34.

So I got on the bus and... well. Lots of requested stops, much to my dismay.

I ended up getting to Market St. Station at approx. 7:35, about an hour after I'd gotten on. That's 5 minutes longer than the buses are scheduled to take for non-express routes. Laaaame.

But, anyway, we ran to McDonald's (arrival time 7:45), I bought and ate a spicy chicken sandwich (no match to wendy's, I must say) (finished eating at 7:52), and we ran down the street to the Bovine Theater, bought my ticket, and ran to the theater (sat down at 7:58). And yes, it was an 8 o'clock show.

Dad played in the first show, and then did lights for the second. So I'm very glad I came early and watched both shows. The second show was still awesome, even though my daddy wasn't in it. He says he was feeling off tonight... poor Daddy.

During the break between shows I bought a butterfinger (consumed in entirety), a reese's cups (one of two consumed) and a vanilla frapuccino (currently in the fridge awaiting future consumption). Then we all wandered down to Subway and I bought meself a sandwich. That made a much better dinner. Yum.

And then we got home, and I talked to Daniel online for three hours, or thereabouts.

Overall, a very nice day.

Indeed.

thoughts...

Ugh. I'm sick of the dorm food. By ten, you can't get an omelet at Libby anyway, and I don't want to eat any more scrambled eggs.

Hmmm... Easy Mac it is.

Oh, best not forget my multi-vitamin.

So I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately. Yesterday I felt much better, and today all I've noticed is that my throat's a bit sore, but that could be because it's dry.

Well, that was a hassle. At least I got my program all turned in.

I did actually finish my programming assignment around 2:30 last night, I just couldn't get the TA's test program to work. So this morning I woke up around 9, and managed to figure out where everything is in that stupid TA's directory. So my assignment is all turned in and... yep, it worked right the first time. After fixing all my syntax errors (forgot to get rid of the semi-colons in my implementation file after I copied and pasted function declarations) I ran Mishra's demo file, and the TA's exam file, and both acted just the way I wanted them to. Hooray.

Of course, I had help, so maybe that's not so surprising.

<smiles>

Mmm, time to make the easy mac!

You know what's weird? All the other kids (well, maybe that's not quite the term to use when referring to people who are all older than me, including at least one graduate student) in my Gamelets group have Mac laptops. Eric and Jim have PowerBooks and Michael has an IBook. There were some nifty things Eric was doing with the OS, though. I'll have to show Daddy on his G4 when I come home this weekend.

Is it done cooking yet? I'm hungry...

Tonight, I'm going to head down to Denver, watch one of my Daddy's On the Spot shows, and then go down to Aurora with him. That way I'll have all day Saturday to drive and play Wow and do laundry and hang out. All sorts of fun stuff.

So, Dad's improv show starts at 10:15, I'll want to be there at least by 10... Ah, where'd my B bus schedule go?

Before that, I figured I'd swing by Target, say hello to Dan, and finally use that gift certificate I got from Nikki for Christmas. Woot. Since, hopefully, I won't want to have excuses to go to Target much longer... Stupid store, keeps cutting his hours.

Wow, the last Boulder Express bus leaves at 7. That leaves... a lot of slack time downtown. I guess I can either watch both shows, or hang out at the 16th street mall...

So, what else... Nikki's birthday was on Wednesday... I hope she had fun.

What the heck?

Ooops. I just accidentally unplugged my clock...

... Ah, so I'm having fun roleplaying every week. Jesse and James are really fun people to play with, and Daniel, of course, I always like spending time with. He's a pretty evil DM though. Lovely...

It says 10:16 now.. well, I guess 20 minutes off isn't terrible. At least I have my computer clock.

<blinks>

Damn power plug!

I think I've adjusted my power plug at least 5 or 6 times since I've started this entry.

<looks back over entry> Crap, I did forget to take my multi-vitamin.

...Yes. These are the things I think about.

Wow, it took 34 minutes to write that entry. Huh.

once you watch it, you can't unwatch it!

cheater

I cheated; I got my valentine's presents early...

It's funny, because this is the first year that I've had valentine's gifts that weren't from my parents... In some ways, it really is an overrated holiday, it's just to make all the single people jealous and all the non-single people (or at least, the ones who dislike pink or red) gag.

Ah, well, I don't mind... I have butterscotch candies! Heh heh heh...

I really am spoiled, aren't I?

I don't know... it's like... an excuse to be gooey, and really, I don't need an excuse, at this stage anyway. Like Nikki always says...

Hopefully my parents will have fun, since I won't be around to distract them from gooeyness. My dad can do his Kasha impression... Oh, ew, mental image... Haha.

I'm really happy right now...

Ah, right! Two things, I have two things to bring to school tomorrow. And Cam says I shouldn't be late to Comp Sci this time.

reversal

[ note: This entry is backdated because I meant to post it yesterday night before I went to sleep. ]
[ current time: 2/13/05 11:58 PM ]

current song: Billy Joel - All About Soul

I had a really fun night.

So right now I'm doing laundry. It's 2:30 in the morning. No one's doing laundry. I'm queen of the laundry room, as it were.

Today when I woke up at noon my roommates were both sound asleep. It was really nice to sit at my desk and think for a while, no tv blasting, no music on, just silence and the knowledge that no one would come to interrupt my thoughts.

It makes me want to be nocturnal; the joy I find in the wee hours of the night, and not-so-wee hours of the morning. I want to go to bed at four in the morning and wake up at six just so I can get the bliss of sitting undisturbed in my room.

I can't wait till this summer. I'll have my own room again. I miss it so much...

Don't you love it late at night, when you're the only one left awake, and you can just own wherever you're at? Like, in the laundry room, or the engineering center, or even just in your dorm room. And you can look out at the world as it sleeps, and be content.

Different from last time... alone, but not lonely.

<smiles>

utsukushii desu ne

風が聞きましょう。今晩は星が美しいですね。

Let's listen to the wind. Tonight, the stars are beautiful, aren't they?

I'm tired, and I'm disappointed in myself, but I think I'll make it through. If I can make someone happy, maybe I can make myself happy too... Maybe this time I won't sleep in. Though if I do, I'm not sure I'll care as much, considering how much I've been paying attention in class so far this semester, and how much I, or my classmates, seem to care.

Do you ever do something and wish you'd done more? Been left with the dissatisfaction of having put forth some effort, but not enough to produce any positive result? Have you ever stepped back and observed someone's unhappiness, and then, having done the observing, wished you could have done something to remove it, only to realize that it's too late?

I finally put up the picture I got from Srav's graduation party. It's on the wall, under my Amelie poster, between the paper crane from my origami workshop, and the beaded purse I bought in Mexico.

For an instant tonight, as I was copying Unicode shortcuts for Kanji, I heard noises in the hall, and it broke my illusion; for a moment I had pictured that it was late at night, and I was in the dining room, working on my computer, avoiding doing homework, and trying not to wake up my parents... I want to be back home, sometimes. I miss my parents. It struck me, how happy and safe I felt in that moment, and I only noticed until it was taken away...

To oft feel lonely, but never alone. That is college, sometimes. I wonder, will it get better?

laptop troubles

So I was talking to my parents the other day and I mentioned that my current laptop sucks, but I couldn't actually remember what my major grievance was: the power.

So the battery sucks. That's expected. Maybe I can get a new battery or something. Its really short life can hinder me only so long as I have no power cord!

Oh, wait... my power cord is screwed up. So I plug it into the port and... it doesn't fit anymore. The damn thing is warped somehow, so I have to jiggle the damn plug until it starts sending power to my laptop. And if it gets jostled somehow and I don't notice, I think it short circuits, because not only does my laptop receive no power, but the plug and the laptop casing around the plug get extremely hot. This worries me. I don't like excessive heat in the vicinity of my hard drive.

There's a bunch of other little things... like the fact that the headphone port is damaged, so now all my headphones have decreased (or no) volume in the right ear... And I've used my earbuds on both the laptop and my cd player; they're screwed up in the laptop, and they work fine in my cd player. So, I've tested this, and it is my laptop screwing up, not the headphones themselves.

There's also the fact that the screen is scratched up. Of course, that's my fault. I admit it. I don't know how to treat my monitors nicely. Oh, speaking of which, the viewing angle on this laptop is miniscule. But whatever, it's not one of those really important things.

There's the fact that the little rubber feet on the bottom have fallen off, and the case is a bit warped. Again, that's just from use. Not a big deal. My fault, anyways.

Oh, and there's the fact that I want a bigger hardrive... but, uh, the biggest space hogs for my little laptop buddy are mp3s and jpegs, neither of which are incredibly necessary in doing schoolwork. Oh, and there's WoW. That's pretty important though, can't get rid of that.

And there's the fact that it runs incredibly slowly. But I bet if I take him home, my parents can help fix him up.

So, ah, my laptop's not really that bad... but the power cord / bad battery thing is bothersome. And of course, that's the thing I forgot to mention to my parents. Hopefully I can bring him home, and we'll figure out some sort of solution.

<pats her laptop lovingly> There, there, now. That's a good laptop...

freedom of spirit

current song: The Cranberries - Dreams

I like this song so much more now... Funny how that works. A song gets a new meaning and suddenly it's good again.

It's like listening to The Strokes that summer. I'd heard them and dismissed them; they were overplayed and overrated. But then I heard them in someone else's car and they suddenly meant summer nights and for some reason I couldn't get enough of them.

Do you ever hear a verse that just calls out to you, or a chorus, and you look up the lyrics and it's not as good in its entirety? Like... if you could have taken those few phrases, that sentence or two, and built a new song around them, it would be perfection...

I love conversations when they're good. When they go well... When you say something and you say another and the thoughts just tumble out there... And then you watch in amazement as the same thing happens for the person you're talking to. It doesn't always happen like that... sometimes you struggle for the right combination of words to trigger that torrential overflow of thought... But sometimes it just comes to you. And all you have to do is soak it all in.

What is the key to my motivation? Will I find it before I am consumed by apathy?

Perhaps... until then, there is work to be done.

yokatta

current song: Moody Blues - Driftwood

.... I refuse to believe that Chaffin made up "crumble"... I demand a... recount. That's right. Just like Florida.

Given my boyfriend's last name, I hear quite a few crumble jokes... And you should see what it says on his mailbox in the engineering center. The horror...

Ok, so, now that I'm off that tangent... As for that math book I got from Luke, it seems quite nifty, even though I've just read the first article so far... It's basically this collection of articles by the recreational math columnist for Scientific American. It's called The Colossal Book of Mathematics by Martin Gardner. Hey, you know what's cool? That was practically from memory. I just didn't remember the guy's first name right. Thought it was Matthew or something.

So, yeah, it's fun. I'll have to post the math problem from the first article.

I played racquetball again today, so booyah. Err, well, maybe "played" is a bit strong. I dragged Cam off to a vacant court and proceeded to swing at the ball for about 45 minutes. Oif. It was quite a workout. Fun, too... Hopefully I'll actually start improving. It's fun to have one of my friends as the instructor, though.

Swizzle is a cool word. Reminds me of "sweet" in ebonics. Oif, I should ask Luke about that, he's the one who studied Ebonics for a semester. Those crazy linguists.

... Hmmm... what else...

So, since today is a Friday, and the group's new thing seems to be watching Battlestar Galacta, I forewent anime and instead rode with Cam (and Sarah, Cam's girlfriend) to Spencer's house. It's strange though... In some ways I think I get along better with Justine, Spencer's girlfriend, than I get along with Spencer. Ah well. The night was thoroughly enjoyable - we partook of Spencer's mother's Jambalaya (not spicy, but still tasty... I want my Mommy's jambalaya now), and played pinball, clue, risk, and this odd card game Guillotine. I fiddled around with Spencer's jukebox machines (yes, he has two! I tell you) and chatted with Justine and Sarah and generally had a good ol' time.

Tomorrow is SciFi. Daniel probably has work but Cam and Sarah will probably be there, and it looks fun. You know... I should probably drag other friends of mine to SciFi sometime.

My father plays in On The Spot on Friday, February 25. I'd like to see him play... He emailed me a coupon where it's buy one get one free. Does anyone (from up here) wanna hitch the B bus down to Denver on that Friday night? The more the merrier and I can probably weasel my dad into paying for the tickets, as long as I use my BOGOF coupons. It's an eight o'clock showing, and if you take the BX it takes 40 minutes by bus to get to Downtown Denver. The Bovine Theatre is just a few blocks away from the Market Station bus stop, at 15th and Champa. Let's see... time for Jessa to design a bus route... <thinks> And it's right near the 16th street mall, which is fun...

Fo swizzle!

pulling the pieces back together

I feel like I'm running out of things to say.

I guess I feel that way for everything these days. Like all I have left is listening, and after a while I lose my focus and I can't do that right either.

So Luke gave me a mathematics book. It seems nifty; I'll make a concerted effort to read it. It's a survey of mathematics type thing, pretty big and with lots of pages, but hopefully it'll be fun.

I'm officially double-majoring in Math now, at least, as far as forms go. I've handed in my Intra-University Transfer form to the good folks at Woodbury and now I've just got to wait for a confirmation. You need a semester's worth of classes at CU with a 2.0 GPA. I think I'm going to fulfill those requirements. It'll be interesting, double majoring. I'm going to have to get an advisor at some point, so that I can figure out what to take and how to balance everything. Since it might be a challenge, with two majors.

I have 80 credits now. I thought, at the IB thing, that I'd only got a little over 50 credits, and then got the horrible feeling afterwards that it was actually 48, and I'd been lying. But when I printed out my unofficial transcript for the IUT form, I discovered that I'd actually gotten 65 transfer credits. That's ungodly. 40 of those are from IB, and the other 25 are from AP. How is that even possible? It's horrible, I tell you...

I need to figure out how many credits it takes to be a senior, and whether having an excess of credits will reduce my scholarships. That wouldn't be so good.

I played racquetball with the boys today. It was... interesting. I suck at the whole hand-eye coordination thing, so much of our time was spent with Spencer or Cam going "Hit it!", me swinging wildly and someone else actually hitting the ball towards the back wall. I think Cam is going to make me do suicides. I'm afraid.

That's all, for now.

Oif. I'm tired.

Cam's right, I do need to stand up for myself. It's difficult though. To find the words to say, without becoming vulnerable in the process.

I'm looking forward to eating lunch with Sarah tomorrow.

I feel like I'm missing something, and it makes me want to eat. I should just go to sleep instead.

whatever I feel like doing!

I had something to say, I swear.

What's going on in my life? I don't know. Life seems uneventful.

On Monday I drag myself out of bed in order to get to class at eleven. Since no one shows up in the engineering center before then, no point to get there early.

So I sit through comp sci, alternating between doodling on my notebook and glancing over at Spencer and/or Cam's computer screen... And we all file out and sometimes I'll say hi to John and feel bad that I don't go over to Kitt anymore.

After that I go with the boys to Farrand. Food is good. But I generally want to leave early, so I don't get to Japanese too late. It seems to make Spencer nervous. I suppose I'll have to stop hovering and just leave once I'm done with my food.

So around 12:30 I've been trying to leave for Japanese. This is so that I can get to the Humanities building before the previous class gets out, thus giving me the chance to say hello to Tsutsui-sensei, and Chris. He's not been coming to both classes the past few days, which isn't surprising, since he seems to be suffering The Cold From Hell (trademark). He's been put on Codeine, though, so that seems to be improving his mood at the very least.

And, from 1 to 2, I suffer through the joy of Japanese. I feel lost in a lot of ways... It's fun, though. I enjoy it. I sit near Eno and Chen-san, and there are a few people I've talked to who seem pretty nice: Lili, Megan (Casey-san), Joshua, and a few others. And Michael (Knudson, or however you spell it... the one from last semester's CSCI 1300 class) and Phil (of Kitt fame) are there too, though they sit across the room and I don't really talk to them.

So around 1:50 or 1:55 I tromp back to the engineering center and wait for Daniel to show up... Around 2:55 I head off to linear algebra and by the time I get back, at 3:55, I find Daniel and Jude chatting amiably. So I go with Daniel to his four o'clock class and go back to find Jude and hang out with him till our class at 4:15.

The Gamelets class, though we've only had it once so far, should be interesting. Eric (the president of GameDev), Michael (Knudson, again... I think he's in three of my four classes, it's odd), and Jude are all present. Plus there's a girl Gabbie, who came to GameDev this week, who seems quite nice. And I hear rumor that Cami, also from GameDev, is set to join us next week.

So last Monday after gamelets I ran off with Jude to dinner then we rode the Buff Bus together, and he trekked back to his dorm as I trekked over to Daniel's. That was entertaining. Next week, apparently, Genny will be coming over to have dinner with Daniel and play such fascinating card games as Nerds and Spoons (and Crazy 8's if I have any say)... So I'll be skipping the dinner-with-Jude part and just hopping on the Buff Bus as soon as class gets out.

Tuesdays are even more fascinating. I roll out of bed in time to get to the Engineering Center by 10:45 (hopefully fully showered and full of breakfast), where I hang out with Daniel till his class at 12:30, at which point I head off to Japanese. Joy.

Then I run back to the Center for an hour and a half of fun, from 2 to 3:30, until the boys and I wander over to our comp sci recitation. Last week was entertaining, we were challenged to find the millionth prime number, and Spencer wrote a program that was faster than the TA's. Granted, it took the TA about 3 minutes to type up his program, and it took Spencer 3 hours... Speaking of which, we didn't get out of there until 7 last time (the recitation ends at 4:45 for chrissake!) So we ate at Wendy's afterwards, and I was twitching nervously as Cam screeched to a halt besides the engineering building at 8:05. Oh well, I was only 15 minutes late to GameDev, at least.

On Wednesday I again roll out of bed for class at 11, and wander through my day. This Wednesday, as Spencer and Cam and I were filing out of computer science class at eleven (Jude was apparently ditching), someone called my name (and I have the feeling it wasn't the first time, as by the time I heard it, it sounded rather insistent), and so I turned around, and lo and behold! There was Chaffin. It was ... surreal. And cool. I'll call him sometime soon, and maybe we can hang out, catch up on old times, something like that.

Wednesdays are much like Mondays, except, there's no 4:15 class this time. Instead, Spencer and Cam and Jude and Jaime and I hang out in the engineering lobby until 5:15, when Daniel gets out of his class, and we all head over to Jaime's place to watch Firefly. And yesterday, as Daniel and I were wandering about after Firefly ended, Amy called and so we ended up working out. I'm glad, I feel much healthier now. Exercise is good, and I know it is so, even though you may not think it from how much I whine about it.

Thursdays I have only one class, so this week and last I hung out with Daniel both before and after Japanese. Very exciting.

Fridays I'm a bit fuzzy on, as I've only had one so far. Last week, it ended up much like Wednesday, except there was no Daniel (he has work instead of class on Fridays) and instead of heading off to Firefly, we all went to Spencer's house and watched Battlestar Galactica. I had class at 3:00, when Spencer and Jude left, so I waited for Cam to finish exercising with Jaime so he could drive me. I spent most of my time talking to Amy (big Amy) while I waited. Hopefully in subsequent weeks I'll be able to go to Anime.

Last Saturday I finished my World of Warcraft download and got on long enough to say bye to my mom before running off to meet Jaime and Jude. And we all drove off to Cam's party. Which was quite fun.

Last Sunday I went over to Daniel's and met Marilyn and her husband (and baby!) and we all went to Denny's. And I played WoW with Mom.

Last Monday I hung out with Daniel. We... did stuff.

And... that's it. Pretty much.

Tomorrow hopefully I'll get to exercise with Amy again and go to Anime. And on Saturday I'll have lunch with Sarah, and then go to SciFi with Daniel...

Hey, we'll have been going out for two months come Saturday. That's pretty nifty.

Oh, and of course I'll have to play with my Tauren hunter some. Don't want Mom's Tauren character to get rusty or something.

<wryly smiles>

Jessa's recipe for lemonade:

1 bottle water
1 bag lemon drops

Pour lemon drops one at a time into water and let dissolve. Keep adding drops until desired sweetness.

recognition

So that's where I recognized her from...

The girl in Firefly, Kaylee, also starred in the tv series Flash Forward. Yeah... lame Disney shows are always fun.

safe and still

current song: Keane - Untitled 1

I just finished playing a session of World of Warcraft with my mommy...

It's fun. I'm a hunter tauren, so I'm a big minotaur with a wolf pet. I'ma name him something dumb, like "Wolfie," or even worse "Thorny." Just because I can.

So it's 11:41 pm right now. I bet Daniel won't be done with work for a while. The campus seems pretty empty... Next week I'll pay the $20 to replace my ID card, and then I can come home next weekend, and I can go to the gym with Amy. And I'll call Sarah up next week, sometime, if I can remember. We should hang out... I missed out on seeing a lot of people during break.

I can't understand the lyrics of this song. I should look them up...

I wonder if I'm too selfish... I can never be sure. Maybe that means I am. Maybe it means I'm not. Maybe it doesn't really matter.

I won't go to Japan and Asia with Jaime this summer. I want to learn more Japanese, I want to stay in an apartment with Amy, I want to stay in Boulder, for now. I'll see. I think I want to go to Japan, but... not yet.

Maybe I should get a job this summer. If I want to become independent...

I have really good friends. It's strange... I fit into this group, into multiple groups actually, and... I feel happy. I feel like I belong. When I hang out with Cam, Jude, Spencer, Jaime, Luke, 'big' Amy, Chris, Eno, even the Kitt group when I see them... I feel... like it's ok. I'm just... part of everyone else. I blend in, but... without fading into the background. And even... Marilyn. I'm glad I met her. It was one of those things, though, where Don was playing with syrup and keeping the baby pacified (literally), and I was swirling around my empty water glass and sleepily squashing Daniel, while he and Marilyn chatted about... mathy things. I worry sometimes. I'm nerdy... but am I really that nerdy? Ah, well. Time will tell.

I think that part of the belonging includes... getting harassed. It's 'cause they accept me. I'm one of the guys. I'm female, yeah, but I'm... one of them.

I like the engineering center. Late at night, you can just sit there undisturbed. There's the odd student curled up on the couch, but for the most part it's pretty deserted. The lights are off... it's dark, with that little bit of light in the distance for comfort... I just put on my headphones and set my laptop on my lap and settle back on a couch. I can look out the window onto the cold, quiet night, and be alone with my thoughts.

It's beautiful...

hangover

Cam is so going to regret tonight come tomorrow morning... He's incredibly entertaining while drunk though... The biggest changes, that I could tell, was his lack of coordination, and his willingness to admit that Daniel had indeed come to him and told him that he liked me. See, when he's sober, he just clams up. I'm glad; it means I can tell him silly things and not worry about him telling anyone. But... when he's drunk, he... is a little bit more willing to ramble on.

The highlight of the party? Hearing a drunken Cam discuss how glad he was that Daniel and I were dating. Though Napoleon Dynamite was pretty awesome too.

There's more to say... but I'm so tired...

Vote for Pedro.

like dominique

I don't want to talk about it anymore... It's like... others don't know how precious it is. They just wreck it. They can see it, but without comprehending how wonderful it is. They can look at him without seeing how wonderful he is...

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore...

It's good to talk to him, even as my world seems to be drifting apart... He pushes the pieces back together again. Maybe they'll stay someday.

Some days I just want to hide away, hide from everything, hide from the world, just crawl into bed and sleep and think and dream... But then I remember him, and I come back. I'm glad... It would be nice to pull away, but it wouldn't be real. I shouldn't escape from reality. I don't want to, really. I just think it would be easier... It's so... simple to fall into the trap of doing what's easy. But I know it's not really what I want.

One of these days I'll figure out what it is I want... and I think that when I do he'll still be there, waiting for me. It's a nice feeling. It's nice to know.

i'll be waiting there. i'll be waiting there for you.

at last

I didn't get to see who got hit 8888...

I'm tired. Very tired... I still need to do Japanese homework, and data structures homework, and gamelets homework.

It's 2:30 in the morning, and The Parent 'Hood is on our tv. Why?

Today Spencer finally figured it out. I came into the engineering center wearing a plaid flannel... He asked me why the hippie skirt, and then pointed out the flannel.

"Are you trying to be like Daniel, here?" he said, tugging on my sleeve.

"No... I'm not trying, this is Daniel's."

"Oh my god... Are you and Daniel... dating?" came his question, a horrified expression on his face.

I don't know. And apparently Jude only confirmed his suspicions yesterday...

The thing that bothered me was the way they both shuddered, when they thought about the concept of "us." Why is it a bad thing?

new beginnings

current song: The Stills - Talk To Me

So, happy new year, everyone. I'm making the terrible mistake of installing World of Warcraft onto my laptop. And yes, this is the computer I take to school. Eesh. But I don't get my own account; Mom expects that to limit my playtime some. I certainly hope so...

When I try to look up my textbooks online, the only book listed is for Comp Sci. That's gotta be wrong. No books for Linear Algebra? No books for Japanese? I don't think so.

So I got my grades back for last semester... B for CSCI 1300 (Computer Science 1: Programming [4 credits]), B for APPM 2350 (Calculus III [4 credits]), A for JPNS 1010 (Beginning Japanese I [5 credits]), A for CSCI 2830 (Computer Science as a Field of Work and Study [1 credit]). And I passed APPM 2450 (Calc III Computer Lab [1 credit]). Which makes my college GPA so far a 3.429. I'm pretty okay with that, considering I only need a 3.0 to keep my scholarships. I've never really been a straight A student, after all... and I'm pretty happy to have gotten more than one A. But, you know, that's just me. I'm sure I could do better, but that's what next semester's for. And it's especially good since I was expecting a C+ or B- in Calc and a B, max, for the 2830 class. And remember, children, pluses and minuses count in college.

Since Borders was having a "Buy 3 movies get one free!" sale, I bought 4 DVDs the other day, and went back three days later and bought two graphic novels and an EP (not an album, mind you, EPs are smaller and cheaper). The movies: Fight Club (I still need to get the director's cut, but now that can wait), Run Lola Run (gotta love the foreign films!), Powder (just for the heck of it, and because it was only $12.99), and What Dreams May Come (never seen it, but heard really good things, and hey, it was the free one). The graphic novels: Numbers one and two of Saikano. It was such a good anime, and I wanted to see what it was like in manga form. Plus, on the Saikano DVD's badly translated interview of the writer of the manga, it was implied that the endings of the anime and manga were different. I may have to wait a while for all the graphic novels to come out, but hey, it works. And the EP: The Stills - Rememberance, with Still In Love Song (from their album, which I already had), Kiler Bees, Talk To Me, and Still In Love Song [12" Extended Remix]. But it was only $4 and I love the Stills' album that I bought. Now... this is a lot of stuff to buy, and rather impulsive seeming, I'm sure, but... I have gift certificates! I finally finished off the ones I got for my birthday for Borders ($125 from my birthday for Borders alone, and I still had over $30 left when I got the DVDs), and since my parents gave me some for Christmas, I felt it was time for some spendin'...

Ah, I suppose I should plan my spending better... Maybe I should start a budget or something. Now wouldn't that be weird?