ok. my vacation.

sunday, december 22
woke up at five and wandered off to look at something on my mum's computer. was yelled at by my dad. took a shower.

finished getting dressed. i had already packed. all the baggage was lugged downstairs. i remembered to pack some school stuff. looked at a shark pen from 6 years ago. listened to my mp3 player, emptied out my purse somewhat, blogged a couple entries, turned off my computer. ate some lucky charms in a last ditch attempt to use up all the milk. finally, everything was packed. mum forced me to take a ritalin so i wouldn't get lost in the airport. i sat in the car while mum turned on the alarm. dad forgot to turn off the garage door before mum turned on the alarm, so we skipped it this time. we headed off to the airport.

we parked in the parking lot and went on the shuttle. went into the airport, waited to get our baggage checked, there was a guy there strumming on a little banjo or ukulele or dulcimer or something and singing various songs. puff the magic dragon, rudolph the red nosed reindeer, and some stuff by tom paxton, i think. we walked to our plane and got on. jeez, it was tiny, really cramped. i could barely stuff the laptop bag under the seat. i read my ym magazine (which i bought for the article about elijah wood, which i didn't even really look at much, just the pictures) and mum read time. the airline food was actually good for once, we had hot bagels and cream cheese. yum. but my dad got mad because i was spreading cream cheese with my fingers. eheheh. i'm not reknowned for the best table manners. mum got out the laptop and we played some diablo. and mum also revealed two dvds she had bought us: lilo and stitch for me and amelie for my dad (but really it was for me).

after the plane, we got into the san diego airport. there were some really pretty "yarn paintings" made in mexico. we went outside and met grandma and grandpa, who drove us to lunch at jack in the box. we then went to see their new home in casa. casa is a retirement home place, but it's really expensive, and you get your own little apartment, and a certain number of points to buy meals, and if you get sick they take care of you. so we went to mom and dad's guest room, which was a lot like a hotel room, and dropped off their luggage, and then saw grandma and grandpa's little place and dropped off my stuff since i was staying with them. they have a kitchen, bedroom and bathroom, office, and another bathroom by the office. i slept in the office; there was a bed in there.

we found out that my uncle scott had arrived really early so my grandpa went off to find him. he found him and we all sat around and talked... i napped and we ate dinner in the dining room at casa. which was kind of exciting. i wore velvety pants my mum gave me for christmas (she gave them to me before the trip) and a green velvetish top and grandma suggested i wear a necklace so i wore my butterfly choker too. and evil shoes. grrr. the straps cut into the backs of my feet. but, we ate dinner (i had beef... mmm, cow...) and dessert, and went off to the apartment-house and talked. at 8:15 or so i turned on the tv and found 10 things! which i watched, and really liked.

monday, december 23
grandma woke me up at seven and i took a shower. there were a few ants in the shower, which kinda grossed me out. we went down to breakfast around 7:55 and got there around 8:00. i ate mini potato pancakes and my dad got really pissed off at me because i put a huge amount of sour cream on them and apparently ate them with my hands. so, we went back to mom and dad's room and mum and i decided to do a contest: neither of us could eat with our hands. we'd have to eat everything with silverware, and whoever touched food with their hands first would lose. my dad would be the judge, and if he saw us using our hands, we'd lose the contest.

dad and grandpa and scott went off to walk hercules. hercules is a big old golden retriever mix. he weighs 100 pounds. he works for casa; he goes in to see the "assisted living" people - casa residents who get sick and can't live independently anymore - and comforts them, and stuff. so, grandpa gets to walk him and spend time with him without having to feed him or pay for him or house him or be responsible for him.

then me and mum and dad and grandpa drove to the rental car place to get our car. grandpa went back and we drove up to the grocery store and bought grandpa a christmas present (a retractable leash for hercules) and a little baggie to put it in (green with golden stars and matching tissue paper!). we also got some other stuff from the grocery store - shampoo, some little gifts for nikki (heehee), some candy (yum), and a couple other things.

so, around noon we ate lunch - sandwiches and soup. i had grilled peanut butter (chunky) and jam (strawberry). yum. i ate it with a knife and fork. mum had grilled meat and cheese, which she also ate with knife and fork. the sunchips were a little awkward eating with a fork, but we managed. daddy declared it as being too stupid looking and said we couldn't eat them. i speared a couple baby carrots with my fork and ate them, too.

grandpa then drove us around, to look at some dam. i, however, fell asleep. so i missed most of it. i did not, unfortunately, miss the trouble we had getting home. i swear, grandpa made about four u-turns.

for dinner, we ate in, and had some steaks, and salad, which i removed all of the vegetables from (well, except the lettuce) and gave to mum. after dinner everyone left and i watched some more tv and went to bed around 9 or 9:30.

tuesday, december 24
twas the night before christmas...

again, woken up at seven. showered and found about a dozen ants, which really creeped the heck out of me. breakfast at eight and apparently mummy had forgotten about the contest because she touched a muffin. she was reminded and proceeded to eat her muffin with knife and fork.

dad, grandpa and scott went off to walk hercules again.

grandpa showed me the swimming pool and suggested i go for a swim, then proceeded to give me his keys while he went off on an errand. i suppose he expected me to use the keys to go swimming. however, i merely wandered around and watched some tv.

we ate lunch, sandwiches again. again grilled pb&j. again with fork and knife.

then everyone cept for uncle scott went out to the grocery store, to pick up dinner for christmas (so it had a chance to defrost). the grocery store was pretty cool. then while mum and dad waited in the car, grandpa and grandma and i went into the target. my grandma really wanted to get my grandpa a santa hat, but they were out. which my grandpa was very thankful for.

since it was christmas eve, at 3:45 we all headed off to church. it was the united universalists (or something) church, which is basically no religion. it celebrates no particular religion and is what church would be if we all went to the same place. we sang some christmas hymns, hung little paper star cutouts on a christmas tree, learned about the births of buddha, krishna, and some church members. it was very nice. then we went home and changed clothes and went off to dinner. this time i had chicken curry and rice and a baked potato. the chicken curry wasn't great though, as it was incredibly non-spicy. then, i had pumpkin pie for dessert. and i had hot chocolate... that was kinda fun.

then, i watched anastasia. which was kinda icky, since it was rather unexciting. i expected there to be more of a climax. i liked john cusack though. but then, i always like john cusack.

wednesday, december 25
christmas! up at seven again, shower again. this time only one ant. breakfast. then...

back to the room for presents! i'll put up a list later. suffice it to say there were several nice things. but, my uncle made a present for my grandparents, and my mum shook it. she said later she thought it looked like "googly eyes". my uncle got really pissed off. but me and my dad thought it was quite hilarious.

we had lunch, again sandwiches. this time, i made grilled cheese for me and mummy.

afterwards i went up to mum and dad's room and we all watched some lilo and stitch. we stopped it when dinner was about to start and headed down to g&g's room to eat. we ate turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes (i skipped out on the cranberry sauce and green beans). it wasn't near as good as mum's.

we then went back up to the room and finished lilo and stitch. i came back down and... guess what? tv. then bed.

thursday, december 26
woke up at seven. showered. more ants. ate brekky. but... mum touched a muffin! we had both been very careful (cept on christmas i forgot and ate a toffee but daddy looked the other way) and dad said, what's that and she picked it up to show it to him. i proceeded to make myself a bagel (using my hands to hold while i cut it!) and eat a danish with my hands. it's the simple pleasures in life... but, during breakfast uncle scott bid us adieu and headed off for a cruise to mexico with his girlfriend.

the rest of us headed off to balboa park. we got a lovely handicapped parking space (grandma qualifies since she's got a limp and has to lean on grandpa's arm when she walks) and grandma sat in the car whilst grandpa headed off to look at the model railroad museum and whatnot, and i dragged my parents with me to look at the japanese friendship garden. it was quite beautiful, with a koi pond, banzai garden, combed rock garden, little exibit of pop-out buildings, and whatnot. then we headed back to the car. mum and i sat with grandma and waited for grandpa to come back while daddy wandered about. then daddy came back and i joined him. we found grandpa, went back to the car, then all of us wandered to the hotdog stand, ordered hotdogs and water (very overpriced in my opinion) and settled down to eat on benches in the shade. then grandma and grandpa went god knows where. probably back to the car. and me, mummy, and daddy went to see the model railroad museum. we got a snickers and some cookies from the vending machine. i have a feeling my parents were feeling malnourished. i don't know about me, i'm always hungry so i don't really think this was any different from normal for me. but, we saw the museum, which was very cool, lots of model train sets and little model trains. then, well, we went home. but it was all quite fun.

i went back to dad and mum's room and attempted to watch amelie on the laptop. it was at this point i discovered that the headphones had gone missing. mummy attempted to take a nap but i woke her up with the incredibly loud startup noises windows makes. stupid windows! then of course, mummy starts hunting, and she reminds me that she gave me the headphones on the plane ride, and throughout the vacation i was racked with horrible guilt, thinking that i had put the headphones in the seat pocket in front of me and then forgetting them. aaaargh! but, i watched amelie with the sound off, which was perfectly fine (they had a "captions" version of subtitles which also described various noises). i can't understand french anyway. but, in the middle grandma and grandpa called and asked us to come down so we could eat.

we ate leftovers from christmas again... again, the mashed potatoes kinda weirded me out cuz they tasted oddly sour. and it didn't help when my mum went, "if you start feeling sick in the middle of the night, wake grandpa up and say, 'ant poison'."

friday, december 27
seven, get up. shower. kill ants. eight, eat brekky. mum and i wandered off to our room to finish packing while daddy and grandpa went off to walk hercules. we (me and mum) carried all the luggage to grandma's room. daddy came back and got mad that we had lugged all the luggage by ourselves. he put some of it in the car, then my mum didn't want him to put the laptop in cuz she thought someone would break into the car and steal it. lol. she's so paranoid. i am too though. but, daddy took it anyway and put it in the trunk. then we checked out, brought the rest of the luggage to the car, and started driving to l.a. ...

the car trip was peaceful. mum talked a bit about the game she's gonna make. i am chief gopher of the company. hear, hear. we stopped by "ontario mills" for lunch. first we looked at some stores in the mall, virgin records, and e.b., and such, and then we went to this seafood-ish restaurant. upscale, and everything. well, we ordered some sashimi (yum!) but it, and daddy's salad, were hugely delayed so we didn't end up paying for the sashimi. which was a good thing, as it was rather expensive. i splashed everyone by dropping a piece of sashimi into the soy sauce, which kind of pissed daddy off, but oh well.

we then headed for aunt wendy's. mummy and daddy headed off to bubbie's apartment, where we were staying, and i stayed at wendy's house. i played golf / hockey with kyle, which was tiring but quite fun. daddy came back alone (as mummy was feeling "sick") and aunt wendy ordered chinese. so we all ate chinese food. then me, daddy, and aunt wendy went off to see the groundlings! they were so great. if we ever go back to l.a. i'm gonna force my daddy to take me with him to see another show. it combined written skits with improv. but, it was kind of sad to see, in the inside of the theater, "This theater is dedicated to Phil Hartman". poor guy.

so then, we went back, dropped wendy off, went to bubbie's. gosh, was it noisy. i slept on the couch, and what with the refrigerator and traffic, i was really glad i'm a heavy sleeper. mum and dad were trapped in the room with the insanely loud clocks, and traffic. but everyone slept just fine, though we contemplated going to a hotel.

i just finished watching amelie. it was really good. really really good. it was sweet. makes you think though. about love, and everything. it's about this girl amelie, who sees this guy at a photo booth, and she ends up falling in love with him. she thinks of all these imaginative ways to get him to meet her, but she's too afraid to actually talk to him. another guy calls her a coward for not talking to the guy she likes. so of course, i kinda relate to amelie, in that, you know, there's a guy i like and i'm too afraid to ever really talk to him. i mean, it's a bit different for me, of course. i talk to him, while she never really talks to the guy she likes, just sends him messages and such. but, although i talk to the guy i like, i never let him know how i feel about him. i'm a coward, really, just like amelie was. but, it's because i'm scared, just like her, that it's a reality check, that there'll be no happy ending, that he won't like me... and since this isn't a movie there isn't necessarily going to be a happy ending.

well, i'm back. it was a pretty good vacation, mebbe i'll talk about it later.

yay. so far vacation has been good. i'm on my aunt wendy's computer right now. it's been pretty fun out here actually, more than i thought it would be. we had christmas with grandma and grandpa and uncle scott and on friday we left for l.a. to see my aunt, uncle, cousins, and grandma. ryan and kyle, my cousins, seem to have lost some of their evil tendencies and kyle actually played "golf" (hockey with golf clubs) with me, and a "feed the frog the fly" game thing, and ryan has talked to me some. they're both rather cute and it's odd to see them older. last time i saw them kyle was an evil little 3-or-so year old and ryan was quiet and antisocial. well, anyway. i'll be coming back on monday but until then... au revoir! uh, i think...

merry christmas!

how very odd... well, it seems our ip address has changed back to the way it was. mum bounced the router twice, so i guess the second time must have done it. strange.

well, off i go to san diego. vacations, especially right before we leave, tend to be really stressful. ah, well, i'm sure we'll all survive. i burned 3 cds last night full of mp3s. so now i have about 600 songs to listen to. fun. and mum and i will probably watch lord of the rings on her laptop. well, i won't be blogging anymore until i get back from my vacation. adieu!

current mp3: laughable - cowboy mouth eeeheehee! i opened my mp3 player up. WOOHOO! it's really fun. i had previously burned a data cd for my computer (since the network is so screwed up) and i included about 200 mp3s on it... and i'm listening to them right now! wheeeee! it's really eerie though; the disk stops spinning during the song, only to start up again then stop again. like it did just now. 2 minutes into the song. so i guess it reads some amount of data, plays it, then gets more.... creepy. it really is weird to see the disc totally immobile. but, eh, it's cool. ooo! beatles song! oh, i love this one. :) (you won't see me... paul wrote it about jane when they were having troubles, right before they broke up...) but, this is cool, since i now know that i can make folders, and stuff, and even put other things on the cd (this particular one also has a few text files and jpegs), and it still works. you can even make separate folders, then shuffle inside the folder. HEE HEE! this is so cool. yeah, but, apparently our ip address has changed because my mum bounced the router. i was looking at the bravenet statistics thingy, and our ip address had changed. eek. so i asked her and she goes, "yeah, i bounced the router. so that changes the ip address? huh." it's ok. i'll live. new song! eehee, i'm having too much fun with this. eeek, and now it's blur. eh, but, normally, i can only listen to this much STUFF (aka, this many different artists, etc) when i'm on my computer. but... i'm free, i'm free! i even travelled to the kitchen to make sure i'd put the milk back in the fridge. it's so wonderful! eee hee hee! and i'm definitely gonna make more cds with different stuff on them. like, my ultimate goal is to make mp3s of every single good cd in this house. there are probably over 100 cds. but, then, i'll burn them all to cds and i can delete the files from the computer. and listen to whatever i want!!! eee hee hee! so now i can have tons of songs with me, wherever i go! and i can listen to them! hooray!!! oh, dear, i think i'm getting overly excited. but, yeah, this is definitely the best christmas gift... EVER. it's so cool. EEEE! NEW SONG! ooo, what is it? what is it? yay! it's the ballad of john and yoko! hehe!!! uh... right. i'll stop. but on a different note... since i got such good scores on my psats (mwahaha) my daddy says i can go out to dinner tonight. wherever i want... i've been thinking, it might be fun to go to park meadows and shop? but, it's gonna be chock full of procrastinators. i happen to be one of them; still haven't bought my mum a gift. i talked to her, though, and she said i probably shouldn't get her one, since she doesn't want to drag crud with her to san diego. i dunno though. i should at least make her a card or something. but, yeah, so i need to decide where to go out to dinner. hmph. i don't know though. it's always really hard for me to make decisions. let's see. i suppose i should make a list. ah well. lists can be fun...

today was a good day.

well, before school me and daddy went to king soopers to buy candy canes, which was fun. and i still got to school on time to talk to people before class. kymberlee gave me a card, a candy cane, and a little bag of candy. baylee got me a card with a candy cane. srav got me a little chocolate santa candy, or something, and this really cute teddy bear lollipop. yay. but, that made me happy, that people actually got me something. hooray. all i get is candy canes, because, it's better than not giving anything, and you can give it to people who don't give you anything. oh! but, i gave all my candy canes away. which made me happy. let's see, who'd i give candy canes to?

srav, claire, alex, baylee, nathan, kymberlee, allie, ali, chaffin, ivey, matt, jason, ann, aimee, the new girl in science, joel, eric, and joe.

that's 18 candy canes. it was remarkable, since i didn't think i would have enough people to give candy canes to. i also wanted to give candy canes to lorina, and stacey, and melissa, and megann, and danny, and eve, and dan... so i don't feel so friendless now. rather, more towards the opposite direction. eh, not everybody i gave candy canes to or wanted to give candy canes to was my best buddy (that would be nikki, and she didn't get a candy cane either!) but they were more or less friends, or at least people who i talk to. not people who hate me or who never talk to me or whatever. so that made me happy...

yeah, but, lots of things today happened to make it happy. like, before my mum came to pick me up after school, i talked to christa about her fishy (the one kymberlee gave her) and about how she was afraid of dropping him. as i came to school, some kid from my weight training class recognized me and said something like "you're that kid who works hard." ha! as if! but it was rather nice to think that he thinks i work hard. um, lessee. at my locker after school, wishing tiffany a happy winter break and stuff, and having noelle say hello as she passed by. going to the school store to buy sugar cookies, and finding that they did indeed have them. talking to eve during lit class. seeing joe before lunch, and exchanging candy canes.

oh, comp sci was somewhat more interesting today because mr. fox paid a visit. it was kinda funny, because he comes down and it's like, "you're in my class. and you're in my class. and you are too... you're all in my class!" jeez. and ann was being a dork, going, "HELLO, mr. fox!" when she's a sophomore and has no clue who he is. it was great. hmph. eddie and dan were playing chess over the network and i watched them for a bit. and i talked to jason about the lab for science, and everything was rather... nice. eh, it was the day before break. what are you going to do? force us to work? yeah right.

we finished monsters inc in spanish class. they must have changed some of boo's lines but not all, because she called sully "gatito". it was so cute! but, the voices were a pretty close match. oh well. it's my personal belief that one adorable little girl sounds approximately the same as any other adorable little girl. and when you're changing the language, it's harder to compare anyway.

hmph. then, mum picks me up and we go to the doctor's to pick up a prescription, then to albertson's to get it filled. and we bought a whole bunch of fun stuff, including orangesicle soda, which i proceeded to drink during dinner. we ate chicken fingers (also from albertsons) and watched the second part of a malcolm episode (we watched the first part yesterday) and a daily show. the daily show is lovely. i love jon stewart. and this particular episode (can you call them episodes? not really. but what do you call them then?) was especially fun, since the guest interview was john cusack. ah, lovely. it was a really good interview too.

yep, and i rounded off the evening with ac. fun. me and mum opened the present boxes in the towns (there're these big gift boxes, and to open them you need to do a quest) and then, since i got a lump of coal, off we went to get the snowglobe. after running away from the mean monsters to get buffed, we got the snowglobe! and ooo, it's so cool. and then we went off to the lugian citadel, which i'd never been to before. and it was so fun, much more so than i had expected. i definitely want to go there some more to power level. heh heh.

so, thus far, the vacation has been great. hallelujah! all hail winter break!

current mp3: suteki da ne - rikki i wonder what to do about this whole lunch/no lunch thing. k, so, next semester tok is replacing my lunch period. earlier in the year i tried multiple times to switch to the eighth period class, to no avail. since eighth period had about 40 kids in it. but, i guess they've probably fixed it by now. but, now, i don't know if i want to change my schedule. there are pluses and minuses to each option. eh, well, let's see.

lunch:		no lunch:
pros	cons	pros	cons
i get to see nikki. when i'm not with nikki, i can eat lunch with alex. i get a lunch, and time to relax.	i have to change my schedule, which is a pain. when i'm with nikki, i'll also be with ryan, which is not as fun as just being with nikki. if alex has a lab, i'll be alone and miserable. i hate burger king! uh, ok, mebbe this isn't a valid reason. oh well	i get to have tok with some people i know and like. (and who, i believe, like me) i will get out seventh period, same as nikki, so we could hang out after school sometimes. i don't have to change my schedule. the class will be really small, which is good because i like small classes.	i won't get to see nikki during lunch. i won't ever be able to buy lunch; i'll have to remember to pack it everyday. i won't have a lunch period in which i could do homework.

well, i'll just have to think about it. i'm going to talk to my counselor on monday when we get back. other than that, i suppose... math was fun, me and alex drew on the chalkboard. there was a sub so we didn't even have to take notes, or pretend to listen, or anything. if i had had my book, things might have been more productive but when you can't do your homework what are you going to do? borrow someone else's book? no, because then they wouldn't be able to get anything done. eee! but, my spanish teacher, i've decided, is only somewhat evil. i still haven't completely finished the homework we were supposed to have done by monday. she never collects homework, it's insane. but, anyways, we got to watch monsters inc! it was so fun. and i'm really glad, in a way, that i've taken so much spanish, for the sole reason that i can enjoy and mostly understand movies entirely in spanish. sweet. but, i don't think they changed boo's voice. which made me happy. they did in one part, when she's singing the song in the bathroom, but other than that i think she talks in gibberish so they didn't change it. so cute...

current mp3: aserejé - las ketchup

you know what's a really life-affirming experience? getting your backpack stolen. but really, it kinda is. i mean, having it being missing, that was horrible. looking for it was horrible. imagining where my stuff could be was horrible. but then, when i found it, and found everything intact, including my housekey and candy and we and school clothes (it was stolen during gym class), it was the best feeling... the only thing that was missing was a twenty dollar bill, i believe. so, i lost my lunch money for december. it doesn't really bother me, since there are only two days of school left anyway. and, i didn't know where the money was anyways. it was in my little money pocket thing, but i had forgotten where i had put it. so, now i know. which is a good thing. and considering all the horrible things that could have happened to my stuff, i was pretty lucky. and, i found it in time to go to japanese club. so, strangely, i was in a really good mood after i found it.

hmph. but, a rather strange thing, i was realizing, was that i've never ditched a class. compared to my school mates, that's really weird. and considering i'm not even one of those straight a, good students, it's REALLY weird. eh. guess it's not that interesting after all.

lessee. the day's highlights:

• finding out that i did really well on the psat.
• yelling at nathan in lit for studying for bio and not painting.
• chaffin saying our painting looked like the confederate flag...
• redoing our lab in science and doing a crappy job measuring.
• going to buy cookies with ali, and getting mad at the bitchy deca peoples who run the school store.
• getting a lord of the rings advert from stacey, and later showing it to srav and drooling over elijah wood.
• getting my backpack stolen.
• watching magic knights rayearth in japanese club.
• seeing maya in japanese club. she came to visit. it's weird now that she's gone...

well, the group four project wasn't so bad. we didn't really do anything productive. oh, and our topic has now changed to "cooking". hooray. cooking is fun. and talking to people, especially allie and eddie and chaffin, was fun. hmm, i'll have to drop by the counseling office tomorrow so i can see what i scored on the psat. poor eddie did horribly. it's stupid that these standardized tests count for so much. but chaffin was complaining because he got in the 88th percentile for math. it was really funny actually. but now i wanna see what everyone else got! i did not see srav during eighth today, because i was busy rewriting my intro and summary paragraphs for the grinch-bazarov paper. oh well, at least he won't be counting my first attempt. i didn't finish it. he really hates that. i didn't finish the last essay he handed back, and he gave me 60% on it. blech. yes! only three more school days, and i'm off for two weeks! 16 days, i think. see, you have to add on the weekend, so you add two days to however many weeks you're off. so, for fall and spring break, you get one week - 7 days - and add the extra weekend in. so you get nine days off. but, anyway, i'm really happy about the break. i can just relax for 16 days! sweet! and i'm going to san diego to visit my grandma and grandpa. i get to sleep with them, in their little apartment thingy. see, they've retired at this uber-fancy retirement home place. it's really exclusive, and expensive, and everything. so they get cooked meals every day - 3 meal tickets per day, basically, but they usually go for dinner which costs three - and they live in a pretty nice sized place. they've told my mum that they're not going to go on any more cruises, because living there is like being on a cruise for them! and they get a much bigger room... but, so i'll visit them, which will be really fun. and i'm going to drive up to L.A. with my parents to see my dad's relatives. yeah, so, i'll be seeing my grandma and aunt and uncle and two little cousins. they're the most adorable things you could imagine but we don't really get along. they steal my dad away and they both seem to hate me and my mom. the only bad part of going away over christmas is that, we're not going to have much of a christmas. it's kinda hard to bring a lot of gifts with you on the plane. so, i'm probably going to only get one present this year, the mp3 player thing, which i've already picked out. eh, i don't mind. hopefully i'm getting a new computer for my birthday... mwahaha. oh, i suppose i should advertise for japanese club. everybody come! ha. it's on wednesdays, which sucks, because everything is on wednesdays. but, we're meeting tomorrow and we're going to watch anime - magic knight rayearth - and eat snacks. and there's gonna be a trivia game afterwards apparently. so that should be fun. still, i wish more people came to the club. it's fun when there's lots of people.

do you ever feel like your brain's stopped? there's always some sort of flow. especially for me - i'm one of the most random, stream of consciousness thinkers you could imagine. but soemthing's blocked. i don't know, it's just, there's something missing, and i don't know what it is, and... i don't know. it puzzles me is all. but, anyway. my main problem right now is the group 4 project thing. ick. because, well, i can't think of anything good for a topic, and i can't think of "questions, possible experiments, [and] information regarding your group topic." yeah, because that's what i'm supposed to do before the next group meeting. which is on tuesday. i suppose i could think of something, but either it's discarded before i have time to process it - one reason i'm bad at brainstorming - or i can't think of anything at all. right now, nothing seems to be coming out. i just... can't think of anything. it's slightly annoying, but somehow it isn't. it's weird. i think today must be an off day. i'm not really feeling much of anything right now, besides slight puzzlement. normally, i just feel, really strongly. i feel something about everything. i don't know, it's hard to explain. but now, i'm just so... neutral.

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srav was here today for eighth period, which brightened up my day considerably. i depend a lot on the social interactions i get eighth period. i think i'm learning how to act around her, too, which helps. like, when i first meet someone, or if i haven't "figured them out" yet, i tend to be awkward and uncomfortable around them, or just really annoying. eh, but i think it's getting better. i just... need to learn how to act certain ways around certain people. it's not that i'm not genuine, it's just that certain people should bring out different sides of me. that's what's supposed to happen. i mean, if you acted the same way around everybody, either you'd have no friends or you'd be incredibly boring. at least, that's what would happen to me. there are probably lots of people who can pull it off, but i don't know how they do it. hmph. i did my oral today in spanish, which was awful. i was very awkward and i kept making these grammatical mistakes. the bad part is, i could tell when i was making the mistakes, but i couldn't tell right away how to fix them, so i just made the mistakes anyway, which sucked. and we ran out of time. i did it with nikki, a senior i believe, who's in my comp sci class as well. she had some interesting choices of people... see, we were supposed to come up with 10 famous people, to invite to a dinner party. so we each had a separate list of 10 people, and then we had to cut out ten people total from both lists.

my list: john lennon mozart cervantes shakespeare damon albarn einstein edison napoleon

her list: amelia earheart ghandi jackie onassis florence nightengale jfk einstein frank sinatra john steinbeck

i can't remember any others, though, which is a pain. oh well... but, hooray, for i have just come back from watching the santa clause 2 with nikki. that was quite lovely. i have to admit, i have a soft spot for dopey romantic comedies. eh, oh well. but next time we go to the movies, i want to see the emperor's club. that looks good. nikki's already seen it but she says she wouldn't mind seeing it again with me.

haha! this makes me laugh.


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hmm... well, lessee. today was alright. i felt rather awkward throughout the day though. i hate feeling awkward. or alone. or bored. really, whenever i'm depressed, it's usually because i felt awkward... thus did not talk to people and felt alone... thus was bored since i had no one to talk to.

so, eighth period was hard to take. i stayed in the library for ten minutes, but i couldn't take it anymore and left. i wandered around the school for the rest of the period, feeling miserable. there was one good part, though, when i saw j.k. at the giving tree table and talked to him for a while.

i guess i have no real reason to be depressed, but somehow i just can't bring myself to be happy. there's something inherently unsatisfying in what i'm doing with my life, in the direction i'm going, and i can never be sure that i'm doing the right thing. and the doubt drives me crazy.

another thing that annoys me is the fact that i never seem to be "ok". i'm either happy to the point of being giddy, or monstrously depressed. there are times, like now, when i'm just a dull kind of unhappy. but mostly i'm extreme and it annoys me. why can't i just be normal for once? and not always be one thing or the other? things aren't black and white, but i can't find the grey.

right, another thing i've figured out, is that whenever i'm depressed i tend to think philosophically about it (or at least, my version of philosophic thought). but when i'm happy i think mostly about the trivial, inconsequential things that made my day a little bit happier. is there a pattern here? does shutting out intelligent thought make one happy? does focusing on the seemingly inconsequential things in life assure contentment? do philosophical thought processes cause dissatisfaction with the current state of things? eh, i'm done. really, i'm too tired to do anything right now but yawn, find a coat, and stare at my homework until my brain gives out. which shouldn't take too long actually.

huh, well. this was not a bad day, at any rate. i went to art club, an interesting experience. this is the second time i've gone. the first time, both alex and claire were there, and this time, neither of them was, but i still had fun painting popsicles and such. and i'm starting to feel less - i don't know. something seems to be disappearing. something makes me unhappy when i'm around other people. perhaps it's the consciousness of my inadequate social skills. i really have trouble with people. but, it's getting better. you've got to admit, it's getting better, getting better all the time. course, couldn't get much worse. but yes, i admit it's getting better. hmph, i'm sure nobody got that, it's ok though. but, what i think is this: i feel nervous around people. and it screws me up more than it prevents me from making mistakes. so i just end up being miserable. but, lately i've been taking more risks and trying not to be so damn self-conscious. and maybe it's working. it's as if, every so often, when i notice it, my worry has just disappeared into nothingness. and i lose that awkward presence that is always floating around me. lurking at every corner, threatening to invade my inner peace of mind. maybe i'm not becoming a healthier person, maybe i'm just becoming more dependent on the social interactions i receive every day. but, there's no real way to tell. and, what really matters is not whether i'm doing the "right thing", but whether or not i'm DOING something. it's better to do something wrong, than to not do it at all and never find out if you could have achieved anything. no? isn't that what taking risks is? there are limits, but to never risk and thus never err is just as bad as risking everything foolishly and destroying yourself in the process... either way, you become nothing. one way, through uselessness, the other, through destruction. which is worse? eh, ok, that's enough semi-philosophical rants for one night. i've used up all my brain power so i'm going to bed. night.

yay! hee hee, elijah wood... Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate? brought to you by Quizilla Which View Askew Movie Are You? brought to you by Quizilla lol, i'm such a dork. this is fun, though.

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current mp3: coffee and tv - blur damn, i'm depressed. hmph, i suppose i came on here so i could write about it. but, i don't know. it seems kind of pointless. but, there is one thing. i really, really, really hate it when people aren't honest with me about the way they feel. be it, about me, about life in general, or whatever. but, see, i can tell some things. i'm not a complete idiot. but whatever my premonitions are telling me, it's not enough. i have a horrible time trying to figure people out. so, i just wish they would tell me what's going on. like, for example, say one of my friends was really depressed. now, i can tell she's unhappy, but i don't know why. so i ask, and they won't tell me. instead of just saying "i don't want to talk about it; it'll just make me more depressed", they say nothing's wrong. this pisses me off. i feel bad that they can't trust me enough to tell me what's wrong. and, hey, if they don't trust me, why don't they just say, "it's none of your business, so stay out of it." if they're afraid they'll insult me, they insult me anyways, by showing they don't trust me, and not being willing to tell me that. maybe it's just me; maybe i need to change. but it still pisses me off. or, take this: i'm being somewhat annoying. not unusual; there are a thousand things i do that are annoying. there are a million things i do that could piss people off. but what i hate, is when, i can tell i'm annoying someone. but it's not entirely clear to me what i'm doing wrong. but - the person i think i'm annoying, doesn't say anything. and i can never tell what's wrong. well, i'm feeling a bit better now... i actually went off and read a page and a half in we in the middle of writing this. and for some reason that entirely calmed my nerves. i guess, it is true, the best way to be happy is to escape.

current mp3: this is a low - blur

hmmm, eighth period is more interesting these days. i like variety. today i hung out with the photo kids. namely, kymberlee, chaffin, and matt. quite entertaining. and i was the "prop" for a couple photos which was a novel experience. and i saw danny and claire in the room... very strange. too bad i don't have, what, fifth? off, so i could bug nikki and megann...

yeah, but, my mum is getting on my case for not playing enough ac. lol. but, she's threatening to delete my character if i don't play her. sniff.

wow, i've had flagpole sitta in my head all day, and i couldn't remember the line about stupid people until about 20 minutes ago. i need to learn the lyrics of that song. i remember about a year ago, when i asked my dad about it. i even looked the cd up on amazon. i was like, "i like this song! i wanna buy the cd!" it's ok. i never buy cds. i mean, i've bought, what? beatles, blur, and belle and sebastian. and puffy amiyumi - japanese music - and las ketchup - spanish music - on a whim. hmph. i suck. i didn't even buy matchbox 20, that was my parents; my dad bought the first one, which i stole, and my mum bought me the second one. yeah, so, i suck. it's ok though. but seriously, i need to go buy my own music!!! and not just stuff by british peoples, as sad as that is. because british people are COOL. still, i need to expand my horizons.

oh, right, i also bought a cd of middle eastern music, also on a whim. i guess i'm into the world music, maybe?

oh, and parsons is completely insane. just a thought. but, he's changed the words in his mobile, so they're new, which is good... uh, i've forgotten what they are though. oh, and no, i don't have a crush on him. i generally find that if i go "no! no! i don't like him!" then i start liking that person. but if i just go, "eh, doesn't really matter, maybe i do, maybe i don't" then i stop having a crush on the guy. it's kinda funny. actually that's what happened with the guy i like now. i was like, "no! i don't like him! i shouldn't like him! it would be weird!" and i immediately developed a crush on him. great, huh?

oh, and i saw stacey before lunch and walked with her, but, uh, something new, i saw eric and talked to / walked with him for a while, which was quite fun. lol, but, i ditched him at the lunch room cuz i wanted to say hi to nathan, and he was talking to someone who had met up with us on the walk... uh, to the lunchroom. but, yeah. and apparently he asked ivey where i was? cuz she said he was looking me. which made me feel bad, kinda, for ditching him. but, i am glad that he cared enough to notice that i had left, lol. a lot of times, i think, oh, well, it's a pain to say bye to them, and they're busy, so i guess i'll just leave - not like they'll notice. so it's weird, in a good way, to think that they do indeed notice when i've wandered off.

I am 70% British, just like
Michael Caine
Though you know your way around London you are most likely to retire to the West Coast of the USA.

Take the Brit Quiz at
www.darrenlondon.tripod.com/britquiz1.htm
Quiz written by Daz

WORK DAMN YOU!!! stupid blogger! it cuts off my page halfway through loading! bloody ****!

current mp3: chemical world - blur hmm. well, today we had our first "europe trip" meeting. yeah, and we found out who's doing the various presentations. there are about four people who i know going on this trip, and two of them (meghan and eddie) are both in my group. goody. we present about florence and rhodes, on march 24 or something. so, we have plenty of time to prepare. but, i'm depressed that nick probably isn't going. and apparently someone ELSE is dropping too, so there are two open slots, for guys. but considering they have to pay $3000 by january, that probably isn't happening. i don't know though. i think the school ought to chip in, since it's awfully short notice... oh well, guess there'll be two less people going to europe next summer. but other than that, things seem pretty good. lessee, nathan was late to school because he had to walk. but we watched the rest of the grinch and then got the story, and we have to fill out these sheets about the differences... it's kind of a pain, but hey, it's better than analyzing fathers and sons. yeah, and i've decided justin from science is nice. and i definitely need to talk to jason (l.) more, he's cool too. yeah, we were both late to spanish since we were finishing up our comp sci test. but, grrr, i hate input error, that sucks. like, if you input a letter instead of an integer in my program, it crashes the computer. how very nice. grrr. but yeah, and math was so bloody confusing but i'm happier now i'm sitting in the back, next to alex. i feel more protected; i hate the front rows because they're just so... open. hmmm, anything else of interest? no, not that i can think of. lunch was kinda interesting. oh, but nikki wasn't here today, which kinda sucked. poor thing is always getting sick and staying home. and she didn't call me over the weekend but i guess she will tonight. hmmm, maybe i should start calling her because it seems to tick off my parents when i talk to her all the time instead of doing homework. i'm so evil. but, yeah, stacey saw me before lunch and drug me off for fifteen minutes. i kept trying to get away, lol. she's cool though. but she was trying to open the wrong locker. "my locker combo doesn't work!" dulh... yeah, and i talked to nathan, who seemed bored. he was at a giving tree table. i suppose i should be thankful that i did it on one of the days when there were kids to look at, else i would have been even more bored... oh! yeah, eddie thinks he's gonna ask brandon about the europe trip thing. that would be so cool. he prolly can't do it... but, i just wish that if somebody else went on the trip, it'd be someone i knew, since i don't know very many people on this trip and that kinda makes me depressed. oh, and, i almost forgot, but i saw eric in the weight room today. kind of strange. he was talking to mason - i know he coaches girls swimming but does he also coach boys? in which case it would make sense that eric was talking to him. but, yeah, and he waved, so that was kind of cool. um, another thing. (don't mind my random bursts of remembrance.) yeah, i was talking to someone during eighth. bloody heck, i don't know what his name is. but apparently his ancestor was a ruler of china for a little while. yeah, but, we were talking about pi for some reason and i showed him the program i built on my calculator to store the first 50 digits of pi, and started trying to figure out an approximate fraction to determine pi. god, what a waste of time. it's ok, as my main purpose was achieved: not to get any spanish homework done. well actually that WASN'T my purpose, but that's what ended up happening anyway...

well, hallelujah. oh, yay, baylee added me to group therapy! i feel special now. yeah... uh... but my brain isn't really functioning yet... too early...

hmm, will it work?

ooo, i just heard it. the poor boy changes clothes and he puts on aftershave to compensate for his ordinary shoes. she said honey take me dancing but they ended up a-sleeping in a doorway. while the bodegas and the lights all over broadway. wearing diamonds on the soles of their shoes. or something like that. huh, i haven't listened to this song in a while. it's better than i remembered. oh, well. i've grown sick of paul simon because i only listen to a few of his songs and i'm sick of them by now. same thing happened with they might be giants. mebbe i should find some of my old music and give it a relisten. fun.

sweet! i found that paul simon cd. now i can listen to diamonds on the soles of her shoes and see if i can find that line about bodegas.

i'm debating adding the 220 or so hits that were on my last counter (the one that got deleted) to this counter... i need feedback. mebbe i'll add a comments system, like the one baylee has.

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ooo, there's an anime con in denver: nan desu kan

wow, i guess hanukkah's officially over. happy un-hanukah.

hmm, i'm having layout issues...

well, i watched monsters inc last night. that was really fun. boo is so cute!!! eee!

current mp3: blue jeans - blur

this is one of my favorite songs. ever. it's so great... you have to give it a listen sometime. but, i don't know... most people would probably think it was boring. it grows on you though. i love those kind of songs. you think they're "ok" when you first listen to them. and they just keep getting better and better. you can't really ever get tired of them.

wow, it's finally the weekend. i have a lot of homework though, so that's not so great. lessee, i have to do that history packet. read and comment on we. do the practice test for math. figure out the test in comp sci. research the debate on thursday. do the chapter problems for physics. plus, i wanted to work on the spanish u.v.m. section, for once, and organize my backpack, and figure out the physics lab, and mebbe write some summaries for weight training class (just to make sure i get that a). and, i also wanted to have some fun. play ac, and kingdom hearts. and go driving with my dad. and watch monsters inc and fahrenheit 451. and make a cd of mp3 data files for my mp3 player, so i'll have it BEFORE i go on vacation. and... you get the picture.

oh, and i wanted to think of a new topic for our science group 4 project. i mean, photosynthesis is ok, but it is kind of boring and it would be REALLY hard to include physics stuff. and since the majority of our group is taking physics, that's not necessarily a good idea. and chaffin mentioned it the other day, asking if i could come up with stuff, so it's not like he's going to want to stick with "photosynthesis". so we're gonna change the topic anyway. so i might as well get some input. besides, like i said before, i want to contribute. con-TRI-bute! (that's right, with an accent on the trih.)

wow, i had a weird dream last night. my spanish teacher was in it. she was giving a presentation. and i think my mom was there too, in the audience... but, i was doing a group project, with alex and chaffin actually (hmm, why does this sound familiar?), and we were going up to present, and the only thing i could think of to say was, "we basically agree with the book and movie." and i'm thinking, wait a minute, what the hell am i going to say? then, of course, i woke up. wow, that's eerie. i need someone who's taking psych to interpret it for me now.

ooo, the math hurts my brain. today was decent. i kind of ran away from nikki and ryan, though, which made me feel kinda bad. she seems ok with it though, and if she's hurt she isn't saying so, so i'm just gonna trust her. she felt bad for making me walk back to the school though. ha! that makes me laugh. actually, i love walking and running, stuff like that, especially if i'm restless or upset or just wanna be by myself for a while. it's nice to be outside, without feeling trapped by buildings and flourescent lights. but i kind of wish there were some place in the school that was dark, and quiet, and isolated. parson's mobile works, but i can't exactly hide out there. so i just sit on a bench outside, usually, when i want to be alone. it kind of sucks, though, because it's overly bright and there's no shelter and random people are always walking past. what i need is a little secure cubbyhole where i can just hide with my thoughts. but, walking does almost as well, because at least you're mobile, and nobody hangs around outside the school at 10 am anyways. but, i've decided to permanently change my seat in math. it's infinitely more fun to sit next to alex and talk to her, instead of sitting in the middle of a bunch of strange seniors and feeling lonely. well, i should probably go back to homework. it's the first time this week i've actually devoted more than ten minutes at a time to doing actual homework. i'm going to finish reading we, well, that is, today's assignment. it's only 20 pages long. then i have to write a ten minute reflection on it. i have a feeling this book is going to be good. i already hate the narrator. which is what you're supposed to do in a satire, at least one would assume so.

yay for the enneagram! free enneagram test

oh, yeah, another thing. (don't mind me...) this actually happened on monday but... yeah, i got an a on the essay for parsons' class, right? yeah, but chaffin read it during lunch (i read his too, fun) and he said he liked it. which meant more to me, actually, than what parsons said. which is kind of messed up, actually, that his opinion matters more to me than the teacher's - i mean, the teacher is the one who gives me the grade - but there you go. like, it's weird. i don't trust teachers anymore, or my parents. see, my mum is super critical but when she says she likes something it doesn't mean i get an a. and if she hates it then lots of times i get a decent grade, so i don't trust the teachers. and my dad likes everything. so, i don't trust any feedback i get. i guess parsons is pretty good though. but i'm always wondering about my writing skills (or lack thereof). yeah. it's nice when somebody else seems to like what i've written. not just the teacher, but a peer, i guess. hey, why do you think peer pressure is so persuasive anyways?

wow, there are so many songs i like. i really need to make a compilation. oh, i know, i wanna write down a list of my mp3s and post it up here or something. seriously, i wanna share my favorite songs with the world so they can listen too!

current mp3: promise - eve 6

oh, wow, i'm such a dork. i keep saying the wrong thing. like, when i reread my entries (yes, i do reread them, that's half the point of this blog, so i can remember what i do every day) i read something and go, "what the heck? i didn't mean that word! what was i smoking?" yeah. it's ok though. i suppose i will survive. and i just need to be clearer in general, i guess. mostly you can tell what i'm trying to say, even if you don't quite know. but, yeah. actually, parsons asked us to look at our essays today, and pick five things we needed to work on. like, mine were (um, i'm not sure if i can remember them all...) clarity, ambiguity, detail (like, choosing the right detail and knowing how into detail i should go), quotes (including enough of them), and specificity (like, making sure i include specific examples and don't just generalize). (sweet! i remembered them all!) but, i do really need to improve clarity and ambiguity. in everything i do really. including this blog, probably. yeah. because i tend to ramble, and i'm not very clear at all. i just need to state my point and be done with it. but it's so bloody hard to do when you don't even know what your point IS. i mean, i know i have a point, but i don't know what it is. lol, no wonder all my entries are so random. no wonder my life is so random.

current mp3: in my life - beatles oh, man. i need to do some math. i haven't done much homework this week *cough cough* and there are going to be two assignments due friday... and i don't want to be stuck with them all tomorrow. i have to read we too. but that should be pretty fun, actually. everyone says it's a really good book, and it sounds really interesting. besides, we only have to read ten pages tonight, and up to page 32 for friday, or something. so it shouldn't be that bad. oh, now the song's switched, but i like this one too. it's aphrodesiac jacket, yeah, that one band that no one's ever heard of. i don't think they even have a cd out. i stole the mp3 from a poll i got through something. uh, i signed up for the "music mafia" for 93.3 (hoping i could encourage them to play blur, lol) and some company, or something, asked me to participate in music polls. most of them were really boring, like, "what do you think of this song?" for 30 different popular songs. blech. but in this one survey, it asked me to listen to this song (hush) and say what i thought of it, and if i would buy the album. i said no, but now, after stealing the song, i think i've changed my mind. cuz it's quite addictive, or something. yeah. but lunch was really horrible. i was manning a table for the giving tree thing. two other people were supposed to do it with me, but neither showed up. so i've decided that when i go to hell, i will be sitting at a table, waiting for people to come talk to me, and who never do, but walk close enough to the table to make me hope. and every so often i'll see someone who i recognize, but at most they'll say hi and go off. and i'll constantly be thinking about what a good time i could be having in the lunchroom talking to alex and chaffin... aaaargh. the only difference will be, i won't be doing it just for an hour, but for ETERNITY. yeah, that sounds horrible. but, at least eric saw me near the end of the period and said hi. he called over a couple people too. he's like, "well, you need to call them over. look, i'll do it." he even got someone to sign up. yeah, but i complained to alex about it in math, which made me feel better. and in comp sci, with the sophomores gone (including ann), i just fooled around and stuff. i attempted to write a program, to reproduce a diamond shape. which was frickin hard, though. grrr. it made me mad. but it was fun to just goof off. i suppose i should have studied for the test, which is tomorrow, but no. yeah, and eighth period was fun too. claire was there, a rare occurence, and nick sat at the table too. srav moved away after i solved a math problem before she did. lol. and matt came and talked to us, which was really cool. the poor guy really needed some sleep though. japanese club was fun too, kinda. i mean, we didn't actually do anything. but it felt like things were actually being accomplished. quite remarkable. yeesh, that's bad though, because one would hope that that would be normal instead of rare... but next meeting sounds like it'll be really fun. we're going to watch magic knight rayearth and have snacks and take an anime trivia quiz afterwards, apparently. but in order to be educational enough, we have to take notes while we're watching the anime. hehe, that's so stupid. it oughta be fun though. i just wish i was friends with more people in there who aren't officers. hmmm, i'll have to advertise. oh, and i'm in charge of writing the ad we'll put up on the little tellies in the hallways. frickin heck, i have to go find out what the room number is... i mean, it's not like i memorize these types of things. oh, and the next meeting is going to be on wednesday the 18th. that might be good to know...

omg, i'm such an idiot. i deleted my counter on accident. ergh. i'm such a dork.

oh, and, i got this off alex's calculator:

  ^_^
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(")-(")

cute dog

current mp3: if i fell - beatles

eighth period today was rather exciting. i didn't see srav at all though. s'ok. instead, my table was filled with lovely ib nerds. hallelujah... there was nick, nathan, joel, and krishna before mr. whipple (is that really his name?) came and yelled at us. so, that was quite exciting. and everyone chastised me for not being organized. i had this huge pile of papers that i pulled out of my backpack, and i spent the whole period sorting them into their proper folders. but anyway... and i wished joel a happy hanukkah, and he told me about his pot presentation for spanish. and nick says, "yeah, we heard you talking, it was REALLY loud." and since it was about legalizing marijuana, he said that word a lot. wish i could have been there. but no, not really.

yeah, oh! before school today, i came really early because i was ready BEFORE 6:45 so we leave around 6:42 or something. and i'm like, crap, i don't want to be all by myself for that long. so i thought i'd talk to alex and baylee and kymberlee and such. but, on my way there, i ran into my spanish teacher. and apparently, she tried to call my mom to say what a good student i was, or something. how very eerie. it's ok though. i'd rather have her like me than hate me.

oh, and on the essay in parson's class i got an a, which made me SO happy! i stressed out over that paper way too much. it nearly killed me. and, that and the history essay is what made me not do my math homework for one packet, which brought my grade down 6% in that stupid class. grrrr... it's ok though, because i got an a on both those papers! it's a miracle! also, i'm really glad because parson was like, "these really really sucked. after reading them, i wanted to kill myself." yeah. that's never a good thing to hear from a teacher.

and i was the first one done with my program in comp sci. which depressed me. because, i took it home, right, so i could work on it? and i finished on monday and today i had a whole bloody class period with nothing to do. aaargh. i did help jason though. um, jason l, i guess. jeez, i need to give these people name tags or something. i mean really. i know, like, 5 different michaels, 3 different jasons, 3 different matts... and there are also the ones i knew in middle school or elementary or from the neighborhood, or who my dad knows, or who nikki knows from church, and it gets bloody confusing!

oh, and aharon scared me today. i'm walking to my locker after school, and he sneaks up next to me and asks if i'm coming to the japanese club meeting. i'm like, "what? um, yeah..." aargh, i don't know if he knows he nearly gave me a heart attack. stupid aharon and his ninja skills.

yeah, and then after school was the lovely science project. so here's my group: alex, danny, chaffin, jason, michael a, courtney, becca, and me. omg! i just realized i said that in the order we were sitting. going counter clockwise around the table. creepy. bloody hell. why must there be so many michaels? why can't parents just call their kids something unique?

anyways. the lovely science project. right. and this jason is jason d. just so y'all don't get confused. but apparently we're doing our project on photosynthesis. we started out with radiation then it became light and now it seems to be photosynthesis. yeah. i just hope i can do some work. cuz i don't want to be an icky unproductive member of the group... yeah, i wanna contribute!

wow. so. i'm wearing my toe socks. yeah, i got toe socks from my uncle. they're all stripey. i've never worn toe socks before so it's a new experience. i even wrote about it in my spanish diary, so i guess my spanish teacher gets to read about it. but, they (uncle, aunt, etc.) also gave me another $25 borders gift certificate. mwahaha. i can't wait to go on a spending spree. i've already spent most of my first one. ^.^

and i guess it's now the fifth night of hanukah. happy chanukkah.

"let a good thing go to waste, a good thing go to waste..." - waste - smash mouth

yeah. but... i mustn't forget, i have to go to the science thing after school. ick. s'ok, i'm in a group with some people i don't hate, namely alex and chaffin. and danny's ok too...

dangit! i forgot to wish joel happy hanukah. tomorrow, then.

current mp3: clint eastwood - gorillaz

woot. oh, wow. that's weird. i don't really get it either. it's just i keep hearing people say that word. what the heck does it mean anyways???

i got hanukah presents. yay. so, my dad says i can spend up to $50 on eight hanukkah presents. we went to the mall at golden on sunday. i found this really pretty picture there. it's of pagodas, and mountains, and a little lake with a boat in it... yeah. but see, it's made out of.... i don't know, abalone or something, so it's kind of 3-d. which is really really cool. yeah. but it cost 35 bucks. but, hey, it's pretty.

yeah. but thanksgiving weekend was lovely and splenderous. but, i don't remember playing ac at all. what the heck? i did, however, play kingdom hearts. i'm almost to the end. farther than i've ever been to the end of the game than in any other video game. here's a neat lil factoid: i've never finished a computer game. i play them a long time and get close to the end, but i never finish them.

yeah. and mum baked two cheesecakes. the highlight of the weekend.

hallelujah.

happy chanukah, to all who care. it's the second day of it. since the sun's set and all. but, i just got my present from bubbi. bubbi = grandma, just so you know. but, i got a $25 gift certificate for borders. really, the best thing about hanukah (i have different spellings of it, don't mind me) is that it's before christmas, so you get your present(s) earlier. yay. um, yeah.

well... um...

shalom.

there. i'm done.

current mp3: belle and sebastian - belle and sebastian don't mind that my current mp3 changes so much... i don't know why i put it up there even, really. it's really just the mp3 i'm listening to when i start my blog. it does kinda affect my mood though, because music affects my mood. not the other way around, in case you were thinking i put the mp3 up there that best corresponded to my mood. but NEVERMIND. oh, but i seem to have lost one of my paul simon albums. aaargh. because, i have this one cd, "negotiations and love songs", which has 'diamonds on the soles of her shoes' on it. and i wanted to listen to that, cuz apparently it says something about "bodegas" in it, but i don't remember. it's ok though. mebbe i should get an actual album of his. see, that one is a compilation cd, and i have this "thing" about buying best-of albums. they annoy me. but yeah... it's weird, because i bought the blur best of (mostly for the live cd and the three tracks i didn't own, and because nikki had it and i didn't...) and i have the u2 best of (but then i don't really love them anyway) and john lennon solo work best of (but my mum bought that anyway, and i seem to have lost it) ... but yeah. and i need to buy more actual albums. it's a funny thing though, i pride myself on the fact that i don't own any singles. why that's something to be proud of, i don't rightly know. it's ok. oh, i'm gonna look up aichi ka nai wa... be right back... ok, this is what i got from babelfish: As for meeting chi serving. how very strange.

current mp3: sleep together - garbage

eh. wow. i'm really starting to hate this history packet. it's 60 pages of reading. blech. so i did the reading but the trouble is i don't get any credit unless i answer the questions. bloody hell. you mean i have to go back through the packet?!

i've been working on my website and i'm already bored. and i wonder why i never put up websites.

but now i think i'll go through my program for comp sci and figure out what's wrong with it. it's supposed to output a calendar for the year. here, i'll even put up what i have so far, just for your especial enjoyment:

// this program is supposed to take the year
// and the day of the week of jan. 1, and print
// a calendar for the year

#include <iostream>
#include <string>    // for stuff using strings
#include <iomanip>   // for formatting

using namespace std;

void Calendar (int, int, string, int&);

int main()
{
   int day;
   int year;

   int jan = 31;
   int feb = 28;
   int mar = 31;
   int apr = 30;
   int may = 31;
   int jun = 30;
   int jul = 31;
   int aug = 31;
   int sep = 30;
   int oct = 31;
   int nov = 30;
   int dec = 31;

   int nextday;

   cout << "What day of the week is January 1st on? (1 for Sunday, 2 for Monday, etc.) ";
   cin >> day;

   cout << "What year is it? ";
   cin >> year;

   if ( (year % 4) == 0 )
      feb++;

   Calendar (jan, day, "January", nextday);
   Calendar (feb, nextday, "February", nextday);
   Calendar (mar, nextday, "March", nextday);
   Calendar (apr, nextday, "April", nextday);
   Calendar (may, nextday, "May", nextday);
   Calendar (jun, nextday, "June", nextday);
   Calendar (jul, nextday, "July", nextday);
   Calendar (aug, nextday, "August", nextday);
   Calendar (sep, nextday, "September", nextday);
   Calendar (oct, nextday, "October", nextday);
   Calendar (nov, nextday, "November", nextday);
   Calendar (dec, nextday, "December", nextday);

   return 0;
}

void Calendar (int num, int day, string month, int& nextday)
{
   cout << month << endl;
   cout << "----------" << endl;
   cout << " S  M  T  W  T  F  S " << endl;

   int count = 1;

   while (num >= count)
   {
      // placeholders:
      if (day == 7)
         cout << "  .  .  .  .  .  . "; // six day spaces
      else if (day == 6)
         cout << "  .  .  .  .  . "; // five day spaces
      else if (day == 5)
         cout << "  .  .  .  . "; // four day spaces
      else if (day == 4)
         cout << "  .  .  . "; // three day spaces
      else if (day == 3)
         cout << "  .  . "; // two day spaces
      else if (day == 2)
         cout << "  . "; // one day space

      while (day <= 7 && num >= count)
      {
         cout << setw(2) << count << " ";
         count++;
         day++;
      }

      if (num < count)
      {
         if (day <= 7)
            nextday = day;
         else if (day == 8)
            nextday = 1;
      }

      cout << endl;
      day = 1;
   }

   cout << endl;
}

oh, wait... um, i already found a bug and fixed it. but yeah. so, maybe it works now. aargh. it's ok, at least i found an error. and if anybody else finds another error, then hey! that's even better. i guess.

eh. anyways...

*yawn* off to bed.

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well, my website is going ok so far. nikki should be here soon. yay. we get to listen to matchbox 20! and perhaps i'll torture her with belle and sebastian... mwahaha.

wai! this is cool! next step: put up a website. ok, here's my plan: 5 main pages....

1. piccies (of dog, family, friends, stuffed animals...)
2. sounds? (lyrics of songs i like. mp3 of the week? or would that be too illegal? info about my favorite bands)
3. info (permanent home for profiles of my friends, family, etc. and me, that might be good.)
4. learning center (this might be fun... a place to put up nifty code samples, either from comp sci class or html stuff i learn on my own)
5. links (a permanent, separate links page)

this is in progress, but so far that's what i want to put up. oh, and i'll link to this blog. hmm, but i should do my history packet first, before my mum yells at me. and nikki's coming over (yay!) so i won't be able to devote the whole day to this project. and one also mustn't forget asheron's call and kingdom hearts. hehehe. ^.^ -- saa, ja! ¡os amo a todos vosotros!

sweet...

does it work?

happy thanksgiving!

current mp3: the state i am in aaargh. my mum has challenged me to a race. we both read and do one of my history packets, as fast as possible. i guess it's a better motivation than just doing it by myself, normally, but... i still don't want to do it! i'm having fun learning about css, though. it doesn't work in really old browsers and there are some strange browsers that only understand bits, so you have to be selective in your coding. oh, and now i'm installing netscape so i can see what my site looks like in that browser. who knows, maybe this'll be fun.

oh, i know. i want to make a webpage. not a blog, a webpage, where i can put up pics and stuff. i think i'll revamp (is that even a word? is it the word i want?) my site at geocities. so, that's my goal for this weekend. cool.

i think that me, myself, and i, am selfish. if i weren't, i'd talk about other things on my blog, right? but no. i don't think it's that rare though, most people don't talk about other things. so does this prove my point that human nature is basically selfish? not necessarily. it depends on what the other people are writing about. and if they have a reason to think about themselves exclusively, without making them selfish. or if they talk about others in a way that denotes that they care more about others than themselves. but, is it really necessary to love others more than yourself, to not be selfish? are their other ways of not being selfish? or is it "selfish" that i'm thinking of? maybe self-centered? in that you think about your self mostly? or self-love, which, really, shouldn't everyone have anyway? it's called confidence. and that obviously is not particularly common, as most people have low self esteem. and it doesn't apply to me, because i don't have much confidence... eh. wait a while. i need to figure this out... aargh, my brain hurts!

current mp3: romantic / 3rd part - bruckner

yeah, i'm listening to a symphony. the title is in german and very long and confusing. it's: iii. scherzo, bewegt - trio. nicht zu schnell. keinesfalls schleppend - scherzo. wow, lovely.

hmm, more pensive thoughts. i mean, i have it pretty good, don't i? don't i have everything i need or want? i'm utterly spoiled. i don't have medical problems. i'm doing alright in school. my parents are cool, for the most part. i have friends. i understand things. i don't have to deal with the stress of a job or of driving or owning a car or paying my taxes or planning for college, even, because i've already pretty much decided i'm going to boulder. i've seen the campus and it's very nice actually.

so why do i think i'm unhappy when of all people i have the least reason to be so? how do all of my friends deal with the pain of their lives, when i am miserable with what i have? and how can i call myself unhappy? do i even have the right?

i should be grateful for what i have, no? so why do i see myself as being more despairing than my friends? how can i ignore their pain? am i not a good person, to not be able to see that? or is it their choice to not show it? should i also put on a happy front? it doesn't matter anyway because people don't seem to expect me to be happy. they might ask me what's wrong (rarely) and they are never surprised if i seem upset. is it my own selfishness that's dragging me down? but isn't it man's nature to be selfish?

this blog is definitely messed up. it switches from talking about completely insignificant piddling issues to deep philosophical questions? what the heck? oh, well. in a way, that's like me. i always switch from the meaningless instances of happiness to the deep wellsprings of depression. isn't that the way life is? if you think about the big issues, you'll only be disappointed? and that it's better to get your joy from the seemingly insignificant things that make up everyday life?

eh, forget it, i'm just nuts.

still, you can't help but wonder...

oh, i almost forgot. i went to albertson's on the way back. of course, i saw ryan... but the weirdest thing. i saw matt. uh, the sophomore. also, the one who doesn't know me. so, i've seen his website and heard a bit about him from baylee and blogs and such, so i was able to recognize him. so, i'm in the store (we ended up getting behind him in the checkout line) and i'm thinking, "i know that kid! i know that kid! look! look!" and also knowing that he has no bloody clue as to who i am. but it was weirdly fascinating, to think that i knew this kid and he didn't know me. it didn't make me feel lonely (as many things do) but almost the opposite. which was, well, weird. but cool too i guess. mostly weird though. (oh, and i tell nikki this and she wants to know who he is, so i direct her to the pictures on his website. and she has declared that he is "cute". she also slavered over his bowlcut. me and nikki, we got a thing for bowlcuts.)

woohoo. hallelujah. i was playing ac2, but it crashed. lovely.

so, now i'm writing on my blog instead.

wow, this was a fascinating weekend. definitely.

there was, of course, the movie on friday. wonderful. though me mummy hated it, despised it, abhorred it, etc. she hates the kid who plays harry. and i must admit, i cheer much more for the bad guys in the movie than i do in the book. they're just so charismatic... you gotta love 'em! but harry does occasionally even get on my nerves just cuz the ending is so utterly sappy it makes you want to puke. and i can't believe that he's sincere when he grins etc.

anyways... so, yeah. and saturday was fun too. an extension of me mum's birthday, we went out to eat at red lobster for dinner, then to costco and best buy and linens'n'things. and on sunday (that would be today) we went to cherry creek and the mall... ate at ca pizza kitchen, bought another copy of asheron's call 2 (so me and daddy could play with mum), looked at sharper image and harry and david's and sam goody, fixed my parent's remote for their bed (that's right, they have a remote-controlled bed), then went home. and i finished my homework.

let's see how this layout is. not very much different, but it is a lil bit more sophisticated, cuz i had to fiddle around with it for a long time before i got what i wanted. so i say it's more sophisticated. that way i don't feel bad about the fact that i just wasted hours of fiddling on something pointless.

eeheehee! asheron's call 2 is SO COOL!

current mp3: leave - matchbox 20 well, today was mum's birthday. i hope she liked it. she saw harry potter and hated it, just like the first one. she's loved all the books but she hates the movie harry. i've been thinking. it's nice to think, sometimes, when it doesn't hurt you too much or make you angry. but, i've been thinking, it's really hard to open up to somebody. and everyone puts on their masks in front of everybody else. inside we're all the same, soft and vulnerable and unhappy. we all want more than we have and wonder why we feel alone. some of us can deal better than others. some can cover it up better. some just push the pain away. but, we all feel, to some extent, that we can't reveal our true selves because we won't be accepted. we won't be loved for who we are. and we build layers, to cover up the part inside that is so easily hurt. like, think of a milky way bar, or something. the tender part of us is the nougat. and we cover it with sticky sweet caramel or hard chocolate. um, yeah. we're tougher than we really feel. or we're happier. but who's going to eat only nougat? the strange thing with that particular analogy, is that i don't like to eat my candy bars in one piece. i eat the chocolate and caramel first. and then the nougat... so does that mean that the really good part is the nougat? maybe it's ok, every once in a while, to strip away the outside layers and show your true self. but only to someone who will really appreciate it. and that's the tricky part - finding the right person, who will like the nougat. eh. ignore my insane candy bar analogies. i should take philosophy sometime - i'd relate everything back to food.

current mp3: hush - aphrodisiac jacket sometimes i wonder about my friends. i mean, are they really my friends? what is the definition of a friend, anyway? i seem to have so many, if you think about it, but then why am i lonely so much? do i expect too much? i guess everyone feels lonely, most of the time. maybe i should just focus on helping other people not be so lonely. but, really. why do people care? what's the point in caring? it hurts so much to care. like a rock in your chest, or a big pointy stick. heh. everytime you say something, and they don't respond, you wonder what went wrong. what if you say something terrible and make someone you really care about hate you? what if you alienate someone you love by not noticing their pain until it's too late? how do you get them back? do you suppose being lonely is part of the human condition? suppose none of us were ever lonely. we wouldn't want more human contact. we'd lose all touch with people. from a biological standpoint, we would die out as a species because we would never be close enough to anyone to reproduce. or we'd die out, individually, because we can't stand divided. we're a weak species, you know. there are always stories about somebody or other drowning, or getting eaten by bears or wolves or lions or snakes, or falling off a cliff, or something horrible. we need to stick together. so, are we designed to long for acceptance by other humans? is this why we go through such pain? or is it just the unhealthy ones? do most people live out their lives unaffected by the gnawing feeling that nobody really likes them or knows them? is it solely my problem? but maybe the real problem is the fact that i feel too vulnerable to let anyone else really know me. if i strip away everything to show only me, what will be left? will anyone want it? i don't think i would. then, is it possible for me to have friends? am i looking for friends - or am i looking for understanding? and if i am looking for understanding, how will i ever find it if i never let anybody inside my shell? am i willing to make that sacrifice in order to take away the pain? and will it really go away? and is anybody willing to receive what i would give them?

well, i think i'll talk about my day, maybe.

didn't start out great, i must admit. daddy got mad at me for making a sandwich right after we were supposed to leave. nikki didn't come to school and ryan said she wouldn't be at the meeting. the lit project was still really stressing me out. but i did talk to baylee, megann, alex, and all them peoples before school. that was ok. so i sat by baylee and shaina during lit, on the floor, because they both sit near each other. i don't know. i felt i needed to be with my group. also i wanted to look at baylee's pics. heh. but anyway, it turned out to be a really good place to sit, because i got front row seats for the presentations. poor nathan went first. matt's little drawings were fun. but i still remembered that nathan had done a ton of work, and i had actually asked why he was doing so much. but he didn' t talk much during the actual presentation. for some reason, it makes me want to know him better. i'm not sure why. maybe because i realize how little i know, then i get curious.

so. then science. wasn't particularly exciting. and history, i looked at baylee's pics and i saw the one of me. i don't look like i thought i would. as i recall, i was giving a semi-blank stare, but it looked like i was... i don't know. looking up, kind of. so i looked almost, i don' t know. snotty is probly the best word i could think of. i don't think of myself as acting like that, but i have no clue what it looks like to other people. so that was somewhat upsetting.

lunch was better. i said hi to alex in the hall, but i had totally missed the fact that lorina was about two feet away, and they both said hi. oops. i'm so oblivious. it was fun talking to lorina. so afterwards i wandered over to the lunch room and told alex that yes i really was saying hi to her. lol. but lunch cheered me up considerably. melissa (i wonder if anyone still calls her missy??) and ivey were there, and chaffin came too. so at any point in time, at least someone was saying something interesting. but there wasn't too much of that sit-and-nod stuff that i hate. i mean, it's great when the person you're nodding at is talking to YOU, but when they're talking to everyone it makes you feel kinda lonely. anyways. ooo, i forgot, ac2 comes out tomorrow, not on friday. which makes sense. i mean, if it came out on my mom's birthday it would be a little hard to buy it in time. yeah. and there was a lot of talk about spanish and ivey's strange dictionary and ... well, i can't really remember. it was fun though!

yeah, and i sat next to alex this time in math which was actually really fun. i want to switch my seat around more often. because it's very lonely in my assigned seat. comp sci we already know was insignificant. eh, we wrote programs. wow. and then lovely spanish. i didn't say anything. again. oh wait, i said that alex had a good philosophy. heh. it was good, too. "don't put off till tomorrow what... what... eh, i'll do it later." that was actually the second variation. yeah. oh, but, as a side note, i partnered up with her, sharing philosophies and all. which was actually somewhat pointless, because we already had, but that's besides the point.

in eighth i sat with ali then moved to sit with srav when she came in. because i was bored. that's my motivation for everything. anyways. and then i left srav because she had gone off with av, and, once again, i was bored. so i let eric borrow my math book and went to the counseling office (to see if anyone had picked up nikki's homework - which somebody had) and parson's mobile to set up a time for timed essays. aaargh. oh, but i'll be doing it the same time as eve. which might be good, i don't know. yeah, then i went back to the library - regretfully actually because for once i wasn't bored. parsons, apparently, had been critiqueing somebody's home movie. which was really fun because you get to watch the movie and hear director's commentary. lol. but anyways, back to the library, to make sure eric could return my book without feeling panicked, and back to srav. who was mad because i left her stuff alone. then back to eric and ali because srav moved to sit with av, and yet again, i was bored. ok. right. so rather interesting.

weight lifting. ick. let's skip that one. oh, after school jason informed me that japanese club had been cancelled and replaced with an officer's meeting. so... i went to art club instead. it was really fun! yay. so, i painted popcorn, with alex, and claire, and sara (from history, i don't know her that well but i should), and some other people... right. but i ended up switching between art club and japanese club. because jason lied to me, stupid jason. oh, well. and mummy says i can go back to art club next week. yay.

so, day ended up being really good. people noticed me, i was in two clubs, i was having fun and so not bored, i talked to a billion people, including aharon - yay - and kevin a bit, and alex, claire, ali, eric, noelle, joe for three seconds, ryan... so. yay. happy.

the only bad part is that... nikki didn't call me!!! ergh, oh well. tomorrow, i assume.

current mp3: angels or devils - dishwalla

oh, wow. i love this song so much. i need to buy their cd. this is one of my not-quite-legal but not-quite-illegal mp3s. i don't know. i don't think it's illegal - i got it off launchcast. it's like calling what ib kids do cheating. most of what we do, like helping each other with homework and stuff, isn't really cheating but if you have a really strict sense of the word, it is. i don't know. i could be crazy.

lovely. i was semi-inspired to re-write my spanish philosophy. we're just supposed to write sound bites that represent our views on life. i didn't really like mine; it was trite and didn't really represent my beliefs. the new one i wrote is weird. i'm talking to someone. like, using 'you' and everything. hmmm, i guess i'll put it up here. why not?

¿por qué buscas lo bueno en todo? nunca encuentres nada. pero ya estás buscando. no puedo tener tu esfuerza. no te comprendo. pero te admiro.

wow. i don't want to translate it. because i'm afraid if i break down what it means, it won't be good anymore. right now it's almost perfect. and it might be illusion, but i want to keep it that way...

oh and this one too... :) The answer to life, the universe, and everything is� 42. "Jinsei to uchuu to subete no kotae wa� yonjuuni."

http://www.angelfire.com/geek/tetrisnomiko/japan/phrase.html

omg, it's great. my favorite translation:

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. "Yo. Ore no na wa Inigo Montoya. Kisama wa chichi o koroshita. Shinu kakugo shiro."

i'm happy!

well, anyways. after i got home i had dinner then worked on this stupid lit project. but i got it done. which was good. and nikki called me right after i wrote that last entry, which cheered me up considerably.

current mp3: leave - matchbox 20 i don't know why, but i'm rather depressed. well, i suppose i shall talk about my day. maybe that'll cheer me up. first things first, yesterday. nothing much more interesting happened after that. i talked to screech again after school, for a bit longer this time. it was kind of fun. he told me that he had been kicked out of IB. for some reason i'm not surprised. he never was one to get good grades, but he doesn't seem like the type to actively drop it. after school me and mum went to target and shopped for birthday presents etc. we got my christmas present, the mp3 player. and i got mum the lord of the rings dvd special edition 4 disc set. and we got my dad monsters inc and a hamster that sings "kung fu fighting" and twirls a little nunchaku. he's quite cute. and annoying. i'm sure daddy won't like either of his gifts, but hey. at least we got him something. then we went out to dinner at old chicago, where he got mad at me... he's a lot more tense lately. maybe being employed stresses him out. then we came back home, i talked to nikki, dad got mad because i didn't go to bed at ten. so, that was yesterday. today wasn't particularly interesting. we redid our lab in science because our data was so screwed up. i ate lunch with alex and melissa, and i finally told jk a happy belated birthday. i switched seats with hugh during math which was quite strange. we took a test in comp sci, and i was the first one done, but i modified my program so that made me late for spanish. i talked to jason in spanish, which was cool. he's a nice kid. i should get to know him better. so, then i went up to the library to talk to claire about the science lab. then annoyed srav by telling her all the answers on her spanish homework. oh, and after school, i saw and talked to aharon for about ten minutes, which was very cool.

aaargh, i feel bad though. because i forgot to pick up nikki's homework. me is sorry. :(

yes! i think i'm finally done typing that icky lit thing. i couldn't have done it without you baylee! (well, besides the fact that you wrote the summary...)

current mp3: this is a low - blur

well then. hmm. the family went out to dinner. at old chicago. it was quite good. only, i fought with my dad. over pizza toppings. and he wasn't even eating the pizza. bloody hell. it's really stupid. it's ok, i love my dad but sometimes we just can't stand each other.

i'm worried about baylee. poor thing. why do all my friends have horrid medical problems? she didn't send me an email though. it's ok, i'm almost glad, because it means i don't have to work on our lit project. but i guess i really should, anyway, even though she hasn't sent me anything. blech.

i don't have much homework tonight, at least, i don't think i do. lessee, i have math which won't be collected until the test, and the lit that i probably won't do, and spanish that the teacher isn't going to check... hmm. wow. this really isn't helping my motivation.

it's ok though. some stuff that happened today:

• in science, we were doing labs, and the teacher made us guess a number to get the already set-up apparatus. but anyway, the number was 42. hooray, the teacher has read hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy. and apparently chaffin has too. BUT NOBODY ELSE HAS! what's wrong with the world?! but anyways. ooh, here's a lovely quote: "tell me how much you love my poetry or DIE IN THE VASTNESS OF SPACE!"
• i did my history debate today. aaargh, it was so icky. i stink. i did the last rebuttal. i kind of didn't know how to wrap it up so i said something to the effect of, "um, yeah, uh, i, uh, that's all."
• no one was in the lunch room. i sat with nathan, but he was working on anna's history debate (?) so i got bored and went up to the library. where i talked to kymberlee, yay.
• eighth period, as usual, i bugged srav. i also learned about stimulans and dominant genes. ooo.
• halllujah, i've been seeing baylee and sean before i leave to go to ninth period. that's fun.
• ... to be continued (when i have more time, perhaps...)